#colonel robert hogan

[that1bitchqueer]

Did someone say Hogan cosplay?

Put this ho together just in time for Halloween

[this-is-goldilocks]

W-A-R spells Trouble

A/N: This is my first ever Hogan's Heroes fanfic. Please let me know if I did it correctly! (Also, all Hogan fic is going to be posted on this blog so we don't confuse my regular writing blog, writernerd23). All words in italics are the French translations (thanks to Google Translate for that!)

Summary: LeBeau and Newkirk play a round of cards. Nothing ever goes wrong when playing cards, right?

Word Count: 982 words

Pairing: None for this fic.

If you like this, PLEASE leave me a like and reblog! Help me grow in the fandom!

     It hadn’t started this way.

     It started with LeBeau coming to his bunkmate and offering him a deck of cards to while away the hours while they prepared for their next critical mission from the Underground.

     “Would you like to play, mon ami?” LeBeau asked Newkirk.

     Newkirk had been sitting on his bunk, smoking a cigarette and leafing through a pamphlet he had swiped from Klink’s office a few hours before.

     “LeBeau, I’m a little busy at the moment, chap,” Newkirk initially protested.

     LeBeau refused to take no for an answer and continued to push his luck until finally, worn down and irritated that LeBeau wasn’t bothering Carter or even Kinch, Newkirk climbed down from his bunk and sat down at the table. At the same time, LeBeau shuffled the deck of cards and prepared the table for the game.

     “What are we playing, if you don’t mind me asking?” Newkirk’s eyebrow raised as he asked the question.

     “The game of War,” LeBeau announced as he handed Newkirk half of the deck.

     Newkirk snorted. “If you don’t mind, LeBeau, we’re kind of living through a war right now. I’m not sure-”

     “Oh, hush, mon ami,” LeBeau interrupted. “Forget the troubles for a little bit. This is just to help us unwind and focus on the task at hand. Now, come on, lay down your card.”

     It continued for twenty minutes like this: Newkirk laid down a 10, LeBeau confidently preparing for a card and laying down a 6. He would shrug, and get the next card ready with Newkirk somehow laying down a higher card than LeBeau’s card. LeBeau would protest slightly, then simmer down and prepare for the next card to lay down and-

     “C’est scandaleux!” “It’s scandalous!” LeBeau shouted indignantly as Newkirk again played a higher card.

     ”Now, Louis, please,“ Newkirk started almost calmly while LeBeau started another round of protests.

     “Nous ne sommes plus amis!” “We are not friends anymore!” LeBeau continued, throwing his beret at Newkirk.

     “Alright, where’s the fire?” Hogan stormed out of his office towards the two bunk mates arguing over the table, specifically over the cards splayed out on the table.

     “Might want to stay away, Colonel,” Carter stepped over to stop the colonel’s advances. “It could get ugly.”

     Hogan looked at the younger man and turned his eyes to the two other men in his command, arguing like children. They almost sounded like brothers arguing over who needed to use the phone more to call their date. Hogan shook his head and started raising his voice to be heard above the rabble when the outside door opened.

     “What is going on here?” Shultz’s voice boomed over the sounds of LeBeau and Newkirk’s arguing.

     ”Shultz-“ Hogan started to answer when another shout of anger from LeBeau cut him off. Hogan turned back towards the two fighting (“They’re fighting like toddlers!” Hogan thought, amused) and raised his voice again. “Alright, listen!” When that didn’t work either, Hogan turned back to Shultz.

     Shultz rolled his eyes a little bit. “Can they please stop shouting so much, please, Colonel Hogan?” Shultz whined.

     Hogan shouted one more time to be heard above the racket in the barracks. He waved his arms above his head to be heard and seen. When the noise had diminished, Hogan cleared his throat to be heard.

     “What has gotten into you two?” Hogan asked sternly, not unlike a father talking to two of his young, misbehaving children.

     ”He cheated, Mon colonel!“ LeBeau shouted, pointing angrily at Newkirk.

     Hogan looked at Newkirk, eyebrows raised. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

     Newkirk shrugged his shoulders. ”Well, Colonel,“ Newkirk began. “I was minding my business, see, and LeBeau over here came up to me and asked me if I wanted to play War with him. A children’s game, if you ask me,” he added quietly. He cleared his throat and continued. “Anyways, I was minding my own business, playing the game as God intended, and LeBeau started yelling at me that I was a cheater!”

     “Because he is a cheater, Mon Colonel!” LeBeau shouted indignantly. “He held onto his cards longer than necessary and he-”

     “Alright, cool it,” Hogan’s even tone cut off LeBeau. Hogan turned to Newkirk and arched an eyebrow at him. “Both of you know better. You’re grown men. Behaving like-” he stopped, then looked at Shultz, who was nodding along to Hogan’s reprimanding tone. “Getting an earful, Shultz?”

     Shultz turned to the colonel standing in front of him, who had crossed his arms over his chest in the time it took Shultz to register that Hogan had spoken to him. “Ah, yes,” the tall German said. “I will go make my rounds.” He offered a salute to Hogan and the men, turned dramatically, and left the same way he came in.

     Hogan turned to his men after the German guard had exited the building. “Now that he’s out of the way,” he settled in next to LeBeau and Newkirk. “Is everything set up for tonight?”

     LeBeau nodded, a sour look on his face. “Yeah, we got it all set up.”

     Hogan nodded once. “Now, do you think you two could apologize to each other?”

     Newkirk opened his mouth to protest, but Hogan cut him off. “You’ve hurt his feelings. Apologize to him.”

     LeBeau sighed. “Je suis désolé, tu es toujours un tricheur.” “I’m sorry, you’re still a cheater.” LeBeau offered a smile afterwards.

     Newkirk looked at LeBeau, unsure. Did he apologize? Did he mean it?

     “Newkirk, it’s your turn,” Hogan urged.

     “Alright, alright,” Newkirk huffed. “I’m sorry, old chap. Can we be friends again?”

     LeBeau offered another too syrupy smile. “But of course, mon ami,” he said. “After all, it is just a game.”

     “If you’re both finished,” Hogan began again. “Let’s finish planning the final details for tonight.”

     And just like that, all was business as usual at Stalag 13.

[steele-holt-and-murphy]

[ask-hogans-heroes]

let me throw my rare ship at you for funsies : hogan/lebeau for the christmas thing

//sorry I'm so late to this, christmas was last year (I'm not funny) and tumblr is really bad at giving notifs for everything and that includes asks, but I saw hogan/lebeau and I do not care that it is 4 a.m. I'm doing this rn. Hope I covered them all!!

• Who spends hours putting up the christmas lights only to get tangled in em and storm off?

> Lebeau. He may be small, meaning there is less to get tangled up in the lights but oh, it's his luck. Fell off the ladder into the snow once, Hogan pulled him out, he came up cussing in french.

• Who accidentally eats a whole box of Christmas chocolates in one sitting?

> Hogan. He would probably just be sitting in front of his television, probably watching The Three Stooges or smth, and when he reaches down to pick up another chocolate, they're gone. Lebeau walks in to sit with Hogan and eat some, and is pissed when they're all gone.

• Who insists on watching cheesy hallmark movies?

> Hogan, just to bug Lebeau. Lebeau says "they are so void of true emotion" or something like that, then Hogan picks on him for being a french love expert and its all downhill from there.

Most of their relationship is pure cuddles and old married couple bickering

• who insists on playing nothing but michael buble in the days before christmas?

> Carter suggested it at the christmas party. No one listened and they pulled out the Frank Sinatra christmas album instead.

• who gets their presents wrapped at the mall so the other can't go snooping?

> Both. They dont trust eachother not to get nosy. Have awkwardly met eachother at the same wrapping station at the mall with bags full of each others gifts, only to have a staredown. One has to walk away for a bit while their gifts get wrapped. They dont mention it when they're home.

• who insists on making snow angels?

> Hogan! Lebeau complains he would rather stay inside and be warm by the fire until Hogan pulls him into the snow, and of course he can't say no to that because that's just too much preciousness from one precious colonel

• who put christmas outfits on all the pets?

> totally Lebeau. Hogan walked in from gift shopping to find their dogs and cats in sweaters and headbands and he was beyond worried for them, and scared he would have to take lebeau to the hospital. He was laughing so hard he was having breathing trouble.

• go to family's house or a quiet day in?

> well, all the heroes kinds gather at their house. They have their gift exchange and everyone has food, sings and they probably have a snowball fight. When everyone goes home, lebeau and robert cuddle up on the couch by the fire and sleep in late.

• who insists on wearing matching ugly christmas jumpers?

> yep that's Lebeau. He made them himself and Hogan doesnt have an option to refuse.

• who waits up until midnight to give the other their presents?

> both of them. They both have the "I've been waiting for three weeks to see the look on your face when you unwrap that present and I am tired of waiting." attitude and they do not care if they have to hold their eyes open until 12 and go to sleep right after. They WILL stay up. One has to provoke the other in competition, though.

• who insists on handmade presents only one year?

> lebeau, because he made Hogan some nice new clothes or something crafty and Hogan kept insisting lebeau change the rules because "I can't just whip up a sweater with my bare hands in one minute like someone I know"

• who puts mistletoe on every doorframe?

> Hogan. Shamelessly. He wants those kisses from lebeau. Gets a kick out of seeing lebeau stand way up on his tip toes and complain about Robert being too tall. Gets fussy when he has to stand on Roberts shoes, but likes the kisses as well. Sometimes Hogan picks him up.

• who gets too drunk at the work Christmas party and had to get picked up at 9:15?

> Hogan, it happened one year and no one dares to bring it up.

• who gets mad and almost tells kids santa isnt real?

> I'd say lebeau. But you would have to push him pretty far.

[prider-parker-imaginations]

Imagine doing a school project and learning that Colonel Robert Hogan was one of your ancestors.

When you had first gotten the assignment sheet, you had groaned. Figuring out what your great-great-great-whatevers were doing during World War Two was sure to be an arduous and thoroughly uninteresting task. You were sure your classmates would unearth more interesting stories than you.

Then you’d come across that one name. Robert Hogan. It had taken some digging to find more about him. With some urging from your parents (and your teacher), you had made some calls to gather information. What you found then had really gotten interesting. Suddenly, what had first looked like it would be a burden became far more.

“So what did you find out?” one of your friends asked you one lunch period.

You grinned, feeling an inexplicable pride. “He was a prisoner of war in Germany but he led an underground organization that worked to thwart the Nazi army,” you explained excitedly, “You wouldn’t believe some of the crazy things he did, all from this tiny little prison camp!”

“That’s so much cooler than mine!” you friend complained, “My most interesting ancestor was just a nurse. But you should talk to this one kid, he says his ancestor was a conscientious objector who worked as medic but refused to carry a gun. You’ll have to swap stories.”

“Bet you ten dollars I get an A.”

Gif Credit: Hogan

[that1bitchqueer]

Hey… heh.. does anyone want more Hogan cosplay? Too bad you’re getting more anyway!

Big huge enormous thank you to @peter-newkirks-smolder for being my photographer and makeup artist YOU’RE AMAZING DUDE

[that1bitchqueer]

Hogan with about 500 pinup pictures on his wall: I work hard to make this house a home.

[steele-holt-and-murphy]

Pilot Newkirk being done with everything