Discover Top Posts Tagged with #comphet things

genuinely. How do I know if I’m sexually attracted to men?

Not gonna lie it took me a super long time to figure out I wasn't sexually attracted to men because I am not repulsed by them like some lesbians are, I'm just....so neutral towards them, like so unaffected and indifferent.

All I know is the first time I had lesbian sex, I felt immense relief at the realization that I never had to have sex with a man ever again. When I am with my partner, I feel like I am actually present and in my body, and I feel joy that I had never ever felt with my exes that are men; like seriously I was always bored or disassociated or uncomfortable when it came to intimacy with men. I just thought that this was normal to feel because of comphet.

One thing I have seen as a way to figure out if you're sexually attracted to men or not (and I forget where I saw this but if I find it again I will credit the original creator) is ask yourself this: if you were alone with a man and no one could know, meaning there is no social approval or power to be gained from being with this man, would you still want to kiss him/be intimate with him? If the only person in the world that could know you did this was you, is that still something you would want?

I know it can be difficult and confusing to figure all of this out but I hope this helps a little bit, the queer community loves you <3

#ask response #fuck comphet #turns out i was a lesbian the whole time #lesbianism is healing my soul #comphet things #i love you lgbtq+ community #i love being a lesbian

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between liking the attention from a guy and liking a guy

I’m here to tell you that you that you are valid and worthy regardless of how much attention you get from guys no matter how hard the patriarchy wants to convince you otherwise

#comphet #compulsive heterosexuality #comphet things

can it still be comphet if i actually wanted to date him? i thought i genuinely liked this guy (started after he gave me attention) and we eventually kissed but it just felt weird, not particularly good but also not that uncomfortable. i thought i wanted to date him but not really in a long term/forever way, i kinda thought i would break up with him after a while just so i could prove to myself someone could like me in that way?? i thought i really liked him but when we actually talked/kissed i didn‘t actually but i still wanted to date him for the ✨experience✨ and because i wanted to be liked so does that mean i‘m attracted to men?

also i did really like holding hands and cuddling with him but i also do and like that with my (female) friends soo idkkkk

Hi friend!

You don’t have to be repulsed by men to be a lesbian, and the way you are describing the situation here sounds like you are also not attracted to this guy and he left you pretty indifferent. When you feel attracted to someone, they don’t leave you indifferent like this.

And I just want to say, people who are attracted to guys don’t think like this… like saying you want to date a guy for the experience and eventually you’d just break up with him? That doesn’t sound like you wanted to be with him because you were actually attracted to him.

I understand this feeling though, I definitely used to enjoy whatever ego boost a guy could provide by showing interest in me. The only thing is that it got so boring and uninteresting for me, and also I then never gave myself a chance to pursue actual deeper romantic/physical connections with people I was attracted to, which sucked.

To me this is a little bit textbook comphet in the sense that you are prioritizing any attention and relationship from and to men, as long as they give you attention because that’s what we’re told is the ultimate compliment (ie you wanting to “prove to yourself someone could like you that way”).

My final thought on this is: don’t settle! Any relationship with someone you are actually attracted to will be so much more exciting and meaningful to you. And if you are ace/aro maybe deeper plantonic relationships that involve some hand holding and cuddling but not kissing is what will be more exciting and meaningful to you! Either way, you have so much time to figure it out.

Hope this helps, the queer community loves you 🧡🤍🩷❤️

#ask response #comphet #fuck comphet #comphet things

i really dont know whether or not im attracted to men.

i know im attracted to women. theres never been any question in that, but with men... i mean i know when one is good looking or charming, and... i feel like i should feel the same way for them as i do for women

the idea of having a boyfriend or husband (who isnt an asshole) is really comforting for me. it makes me blush to think about but in reality i just struggle to feel anything for men. somwtimes when i see a goodlooking guy im overhwlmed by daydreams of being with him but if the situation actually presented itself i am so deterred

but i feel like i shouldnt be ....

is this just comphet? or am i just repressing my attraction?

Hello friend!

Look, I can’t tell you what you are feeling because only you can know that for yourself, but liking the idea of men (including the safety and comfort of straight-passing) is not the same as attraction in real life.

Before I finally admitted to myself that I am a lesbian, I wanted to cling to heterosexuality so bad, I couldn’t bear the idea of letting go of that safety net. And that’s what comphet does and why it’s so hard to work through: it’s the conditioning of thinking that being with men is the correct, good and only way to live a fulfilled life. You are using language like “I should be feeling”, which is what comphet tells you you should be feeling. Everyone wants a fulfilled and safe life! But comphet is a lie: if you are not attracted to men, to real men in real life outside of daydreams and fantasies, you will not be fulfilled or happy being with a man.

I would encourage you to ask yourself: why would you suppress your attraction to men and not your attraction to women, when it’s much safer and easier to date men and be straight-passing (even if you are sapphic)? I’m asking you this because when I still identified as bi, I fully minimized and suppressed my attraction to women and convinced myself that I was attracted to men because I thought considering men and being attracted to them was a mandatory experience, despite men leaving me indifferent. (Obviously I can only speak to my own experience and others may have just as valid experiences/perspective that differ from mine.)

Whatever label or identity you land on, the queer community loves and welcomes you ❤️🧡🤍💓