Fuck Comphet

Welcome all sapphics and lesbians! This is a blog to talk about and share experiences of compulsory heterosexuality. Feel free to submit your experiences, frustrations, questions, etc. Please read pinned post below before following.

[fuck-comphet]

Hello and welcome to all sapphics and lesbians! My name is Lea, I’m in my mid-20s and I go by any pronouns (she/he/they is current order of preference). Also I’m a huge lesbian.

First and foremost, I want to be clear that this is a trans-inclusive blog, I mean it when I say ALL LESBIANS are welcome. This includes gender-diverse and intersex lesbians (they/them lesbians, he/him lesbians, etc.) so if you’re mad about that you can leave.

If you’re bicurious/bisexual/pansexual/questioning, or if you’re asexual/aromantic/demisexual/anywhere on the ace spectrum/questioning, you are very welcome here!

People who ARE NOT welcome here: terfs, transphobes, cis men, or generally anyone being disrespectful, rude or invalidating to someone’s identity. I am creating a safe space here, so if you’re going to be an asshole you will be blocked.

What is compulsory heterosexuality (aka comphet)?

• Compulsory heterosexuality, first popularized by author Adrienne Rich in 1980, goes beyond the assumption that everyone is heterosexual until proven otherwise.

• It’s the result of living in a patriarchal and heteronormative society that leads to women/gender-diverse sapphics internalizing that preferencing men or relationships with men is the correct, moral, and sometimes only, way to live.

• This leads to women/gender-diverse people sub-consciously devalue-ing or minimizing their attraction to other women, and compulsively maintaining or seeking out relationships with men even if that’s not what they actually want.

Though knowing what comphet means in theory, it can be much harder to identify compulsory heterosexuality in real life, which is why I wanted to create this blog!

Experiencing comphet situations or feelings can be confusing, distressing and wrapped up in feelings of shame or low self-worth. The thing is, you’re not alone. I hope this blog can provide comfort or community if you think you might be experiencing comphet and are not sure, or provide an outlet if you really need to get those experiences/feelings off your chest.

Submission box is always open, and remember that lesbian is not a bad word 🧡🤍💖❤️

[monsterbutch]

happy pride to fat dykes specifically

[lgbtculture]

I want my gay rights now! - Marsha P. Johnson (NYC Pride Parade, 1973)

[awkwardbirdsdreaming]

Me if I was a duck with my beautiful duck wife, and fish swimming in the sky for some reason.

Wishing everyone a lovely June :>

[hjjhtyhthfrthgfhnfgb-deactivate]

at the end of the day its about making ur life as lesbian as possible

[ahmnorhein-zkn]

Repost, now do your honors.

[jkl-fff]

Trans people just existing is no more sexual than when cis people just exist.

[sapphoislanddiscord]

[maxpawb]

It's scary to be transgender in the world right now but if you're transgender I love you and we have to stick together and keep fighting and keep living and keep loving

[floptuals]

thank god 4 lesbianism

[floptuals]

lesbianism is so awesome lets give it up for lesbianism

[waytoomuchinformation]

Top 4 Top

Yes we both flag left

Photos by @themonsterthing featuring myself (she/her) and @lovelylunasage (they/them)

[anactual-cat]

Art from @butchmonologues IG

[fuck-comphet]

Are you a femme?

I’m genderfluid so sometimes I certainly present as such! but other times I present more androgynous and/or more masc ☺️

I would say though I don’t really identify with the sociopolitical identify of a femme lesbian if that makes sense?

[cutie46-2]

[fuck-comphet]

I keep having dreams of falling in love with a man and living a typical "normal" life, but everytime I wake up I'm disgusted because I genuinely can't find a reality where I would be happy with a man . I just wish it was easier in society to love women, all my life I've seen princess and main characters fall in love with a man so I think that's why I want to be straight

Hi friend!

I think as queer people we all live in this collective grief together - grief that we always have to keep fighting to be considered normal, grief at always being on edge about our safety, grief for the many many queer people who never get to live out loud as themselves or who we loose along the way.

That grief you have, that want you have for being straight, I think it’s a part of - dare I say even if it’s cringy - the ✨ journey ✨ of accepting yourself as queer. And someday that ache will transform into genuine love for yourself and for the rest of the community.

My advice to you if you’re still struggling with some internalized homophobia and grief at not being “normal” (ie. cishet) as a sapphic/lesbian person is to try and normalize the sapphic/lesbian experience for yourself! Sapphic media like books, podcast and shows are a great place to start, and if it’s safe and accessible, finding real-life community with other sapphics either online or in person. When you start hanging out around a bunch of other sapphics/lesbians/queers in general, you start to realize that everyone is actually just a normal person allowed to love who they please, and that includes you.

An important part of the queer self-acceptance ✨journey✨is to eventually see past the grief, even if it never completely goes away. I hope this helps and I hope you know you’re not the only one feeling this way.

The queer community loves you, xxx 🧡🤍❤️🩷

[elierlick]

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but there is no conflict between transgender people and lesbians. There is a conflict between transgender people and a few loud campaigners using lesbians as a prop for their anti-trans agenda. 96% of cis lesbians describe themselves as supportive of trans people, according to a recent survey of 3,695 young adults.

[fuck-comphet]

are trans men who identify as lesbians welcome here too?

Hi friend!

Yes, if you identify as a trans man and also a lesbian, you are welcome here.

I know there’s a lot of online discourse around this and I just want to say, policing other people’s labels is not cool (and also a very cis-heteronormative thing to be doing) and if you’re mad some trans men identify with lesbianism then respecfully you should mind your own business

The queer community loves you 🧡🤍🩷❤️

[judilyart]

under the fig trees 💜🌿