#compulsory heteronormativity

[princesscolumbia]

Actual Conversations with my GF - Ranma Reboot Rewatch Edition

GF: "...is Akane's entire concept of what 'pervert' is just 'someone who gets off to dressing in women's clothing'?"

Me: "Oh, yeah. By the end of the manga she's a much more mature person, but as of [after Ranma's first day at Furinken High], she's very much suffering from comp-het."

GF: "..." >confused stare<

Me: "...comp-het. Compulsory Heteronormativity."

GF: "'Het-slop'."

Me: 🤣

GF: "Oh, but since Ranma turns into a girl, it's 'het-peak'."

[blueberry-sleight]

You guys know that bisexuals/pansexuals/omnisexuals/polysexuals/ multisexuals in general can have comp het too right? I need you guys to know that we can have comp het too

[quasar-concept]

y'know I honestly think that the reason that most of the relationships Ben is in throughout AF, UA and Omniverse don't work is that there was literally no reason for them other than "oh, our MC is a male hero? He HAS to have a girlfriend!!"

I mean,,, I'm sure that that probably wasn't the whole thought process, but to me none of his romantic relationships feel remotely romantic, and I think it would've been so cool just to have a female MC that isn't a love interest in a kids' cartoon aimed at a male audience. The relationships just all seem forced and it sucks.

I find Ben's relationship with Julie, although not particularly well-written, the most compelling because it feels like they actually HAVE a relationship (again, not the best writing but it is clear that these are awkward teenagers figuring their shit out)

[flergblerg]

I am a lesbian Ann Perkins truther

[fuck-comphet]

i really dont know whether or not im attracted to men.

i know im attracted to women. theres never been any question in that, but with men... i mean i know when one is good looking or charming, and... i feel like i should feel the same way for them as i do for women

the idea of having a boyfriend or husband (who isnt an asshole) is really comforting for me. it makes me blush to think about but in reality i just struggle to feel anything for men. somwtimes when i see a goodlooking guy im overhwlmed by daydreams of being with him but if the situation actually presented itself i am so deterred

but i feel like i shouldnt be ....

is this just comphet? or am i just repressing my attraction?

Hello friend!

Look, I can’t tell you what you are feeling because only you can know that for yourself, but liking the idea of men (including the safety and comfort of straight-passing) is not the same as attraction in real life.

Before I finally admitted to myself that I am a lesbian, I wanted to cling to heterosexuality so bad, I couldn’t bear the idea of letting go of that safety net. And that’s what comphet does and why it’s so hard to work through: it’s the conditioning of thinking that being with men is the correct, good and only way to live a fulfilled life. You are using language like “I should be feeling”, which is what comphet tells you you should be feeling. Everyone wants a fulfilled and safe life! But comphet is a lie: if you are not attracted to men, to real men in real life outside of daydreams and fantasies, you will not be fulfilled or happy being with a man.

I would encourage you to ask yourself: why would you suppress your attraction to men and not your attraction to women, when it’s much safer and easier to date men and be straight-passing (even if you are sapphic)? I’m asking you this because when I still identified as bi, I fully minimized and suppressed my attraction to women and convinced myself that I was attracted to men because I thought considering men and being attracted to them was a mandatory experience, despite men leaving me indifferent. (Obviously I can only speak to my own experience and others may have just as valid experiences/perspective that differ from mine.)

Whatever label or identity you land on, the queer community loves and welcomes you ❤️🧡🤍💓

[gogogadgetgolem]

I don’t like bell peppers.

“But Disgruntled!” I can almost hear you gasping. “EVERYONE likes bell peppers!”

I don’t.

The thing is, I assumed everyone loved bell peppers and therefore, so did I. My parents, sisters and friends all loved piling pizza with bell peppers, my coworker ate them as a snack on her break. My former roommate couldn’t be near sliced bell peppers without going to town. On the veggie platter, they’re always the first to go, leaving behind the broccoli and baby carrots. So I ate them too, figuring I liked them because well…everyone likes them! They’re so inoffensive and cronchy! And then cooked they added a nice sweetness, I was always told. So I believed it.

I gaslit myself for decades thinking I liked them. I never liked them.

I was 32 when I figured out I didn’t like bell peppers. Because I was eating them with baby carrots, dipped in hummus. And I took a look at the giant scoop of garlic hummus I added to each bite. And how I didn’t need hummus at all for the baby carrots.

Then it clicked like a revelation. I don’t actually like bell peppers, and I never did.

And I think breaking out of compulsory heterosexuality, the compulsory gender binary, and compulsory allosexuality is the same.

Everyone identifies as a man or a woman!

Everyone is only attracted to the opposite sex!

Everyone experiences sexual attraction!

I am a queer, agender person. (I am not asexual, but I’m sure those that are have experienced this feeling)

Not everyone likes bell peppers and not everyone exists in the het binary.

I dunno. Just some thoughts while I munch on some baby carrots.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

so i learned about comp het...

[galahadwilder]

Adrien comes out as non-binary (he/him pronouns still) and most of the class is very supportive, after a few minutes of adjusting. Chloé, however, throws an absolute shit fit.

The class assumes it’s because Adrien is no longer “on the market” as he isn’t a boy. Even Chloé assumes that. But that’s not the case. The truth is, all of a sudden Adrien is no longer a safe heterosexual beard, so her obsessing over him is no longer a girl obsessing acceptably and heterosexually over a boy. And without a boy to be acceptably and heterosexually obsessed over, Chloé will eventually have to confront the fact that she is a lesbian.