#completely factual

[wujusogay]

honestly the producer people knew how gay wjsn is so they had them play that weird humping and head-crotch game knowing it would work well

[jackinwangs]

the signs as the signs they wish they were

aries: leo

taurus: leo

gemini: leo

cancer: leo

leo: the hollywood sign

virgo: leo

capricorn: leo

saggitarius: leo

scorpio: leo

libra: leo

aquarius: leo

pisces: leo

[boomboomtssh]

douchebag: u ugly

me: why dost thou try to remove the speck from thy brother's eye when thou hast not looked in a fucking mirror?

[martenjones]

Here's a fun thing to do!

Smoke a cigarette after not having smoked for a couple of days. Get unexpectedly paranoid. Wonder if that guy was trying to talk to you. Is he a bad guy? Is he going to push you down the stairs? Probably, why wouldn't he be a bad guy? While that is going on, have the podcast you're listening to make horrible demon noises. It's probably a recording problem but can you be sure there aren't demons in your ipod? Or in you?. Laugh it off on the subway ride home but still feel a little jumpy. Then, when you're near that place where you got mugged, have the an encore of demon noises. 

Reality crumbles away. Demons are everywhere. This is your new life.

Get home and feed your cat. Watch the music video for 'End Of The Road'.

[alexiusmaximus]

Furbies will rape and murder you in your sleep.  It's a fact.

[swampfae]

The Queen named one of her corgis after me (◡‿◡✿)

[parping-blog]

A Short Guide to Formula One

To celebrate the Canadian GP 2012, which happens this weekend, I thought I would share with you the history of the exciting sport of Formula 1. Formula One is a form of motorsport invented in the year 2000AD by German prince Michael Schumacher. The format consists of between 6 and 24 especially pointy cars taking part in several races over the course of a 'season' which usually lasts around four years.

During the races, the leading car has a map, and the other cars must follow the lead car in order to determine the correct route. Overtaking is frowned upon, but crashing is encouraged as it builds character. A modern Formula One car is so powerful that it can exceed 60MPH in a straight line. The cars are designed to produce 'downforce' - a kind of electrical energy that keeps the driver pointing the same way as the car. It is said that a Formula 1 car produces so much downforce that if it were possible for it to drive along the roof of a tunnel, then it would fall off immediately and hurt a lot of people.

The winner of each race must run around the race-track drenched in the blood of his fallen opponents, though since 2002 this has not been legal to televise and so remains a private ceremony enjoyed only by the drivers and the one to three hundred thousand spectators present at the event. 

Spectators are present by invitation of the country's royal family, or where there is no royal family, by a special kind of DNA-based lottery draw. If you are drawn to attend your country's race three times consecutively, you become the lucky member of the public who is ceremonially hanged as the signal to the drivers to start the race.

Each driver begins the race in a bath-tub. When the ceremonial hanging takes place, they must leap out and towel themselves dry before sprinting to the track and winding the handles on the front of their cars. Each car has a complicated array of sensors which can detect very slight moisture, so if the driver is not dry, they are disqualified and arrested immediately.

There are some abbreviations that all Formula 1 fans should know:

F1 = First One. This refers to the person who touches the winning driver before any other.

KERS = Kitchen Egg Retrieval System. The drivers are required to have an egg sandwich directly after the race. If at any time the person constructing the sandwich drops or misplaces the eggs, they can press a button which notifies the driver. He must then pull a small lever on his steering wheel to deploy KERS - a kind of autopilot for the car to deal with the business of competing in the race whilst the man himself runs off to help find that blasted egg.

DRS = Driving Rock Soundtrack. If the driver feels he is falling behind the pace, he may use DRS up to one time in each race. Pressing the DRS button causes Deep Purple's 'Highway Star' to play from within his crash helmet, enabling around a 25% boost in overall speed.

Recent winners include Sebastien Vittel, a mineral water thief from Austalia, and Lewis Hamilington, a posh upper-class pensioner from Oxford who won the World Championship in his father's high heels.