#comprehensive guides

[stanleyvris]

a comprehensive guide: meme edition

[ingu]

this is so weird i’ve never experienced a vn right after it’s release where people haven’t even figured out how to get the true end this is honestly surreal

[sirenofthetimes]

A Comprehensive Guide to Interacting with Your Friends/Acquaintances from High School During the Summer

be very thankful that your friends decided to form and maintain a facebook group chat upon entering college, so you’ve stayed in touch like you all said you would when you graduated. note the fact that that you know the basic outline of their life in college and don’t have much to catch up on

give them the highlights of your College Experience: the clubs you’ve joined, the random people you’ve met, the fun memories you’ve brought home with you. briefly mention the fact that you’ve only been to 3 parties, but do not under any circumstances let anyone know how crushingly lonely you were at times during your first year. do not mention the fact that you’ve always been a bit socially anxious, and how it became more apparent now that you’re in a new environment

listen to them give the highlights of their College Experiences and wonder if there’s anything they’re hiding from you

notice that no one you interact with has changed in a significant way. i mean, there are a couple people who’ve really changed but you don’t talk to them. the people you’ve seen so far are pretty much the same, be okay with that

realize how much different you are when you’re at school:the way you dress, how much makeup you use,how often you speak, the things that you’re willing to say. wonder a lot if any of them are like that, and that’s why to you it looks like that haven’t changed in significant ways

realize that you forgot how republican a lot of them are (the acquaintances,not so much the friends). listen to them talk negatively about the “liberals” at their schools and wonder if you should let them know that they’re not exactly in the presence of a “liberal” per se since you’re an independent, but that you’re definitely not a republican and never have been. decide nah, since you don’t have the energy to get into it with them right now. have a good time with them and go home and write a comprehensive guide instead

still vow to tear them a new one if they say anything racially ignorant though. can’t let them get away with that.

[sirenofthetimes]

A Comprehensive Guide for Deliberately Falling out of Love with That Guy from High School

mope extensively. lay on your bed every night and recall all the fantastic things he did and said to you. recall in exact detail how he made you feel, especially at senior prom. remember how long he held onto you when you hugged goodbye at his going-away party. cry a little. this may last for weeks or even a solid month. 

eagerly await the day he finishes basic training at the military academy he now goes to school at. message him on facebook that night and immediately leave your phone to drink water, pace, and panic. do this until he has to leave the conversation, which is about five minutes after you initially message him. go back to enjoying your beach vacation.

finally go to college yourself. throw yourself into the orientation process and focus on meeting new people, specifically new guys. realize that you've now begun to quietly squeal over cute guys and not feel a twinge of the guilt of past. love that. meet an extremely attractive guy at a party and train yourself to start thinking more about how to get to know him instead of continuing to think about the guy you left behind.

commemorate your new-found romantic freedom in song form. really impress yourself with how your song-writing skills are improving. laugh about the fact that you were never able to write about actually being in love with this guy, and the one time he makes it into your songs it’s about how everything between you is over and how freeing that is.

act like contacting him is Absolutely Out Of The Question, even though he’s constantly on facebook. start logging off the second he comes online. remind yourself of gatsby if you have to. do you want to spend the rest of your life obsessively staring at a green dot? you don’t think so.  

go home for holidays and secretly make a point of not seeing him, even though nobody is asking you to, and even if you wanted to, you don’t drive and it’d be super inconvenient to get someone to take you to meet up with him. pretend not to care when your high school friends bring him up in conversation. shrug when your family members ask how he’s doing and if you've heard from him. feel really bad about not being invited to this christmas party all your other friends were invited to, but feel relived that you weren't there when everyone decided to skype call the guy, because he couldn't make it. 

come to terms with the fact that you’re basically always going to be thinking of him, because even though the two of you never actually dated, he was the first guy to ever like you back, and he was the first guy to ever call you beautiful, and those things really mean a lot to you. think about things you did together and realize that your memories of him are now colored with nostalgia and an appreciation for the past rather than romantic love. feel really, really okay with that.

spend the days leading up to his birthday occasionally thinking about what the fuck you’re going to do about that. laugh about the fact that a year ago, you were seriously making an effort to do something really nice for him, and now look where you are. when the day comes, decide to leave a post on his timeline like you do for everyone else, because your silence would have been louder than anything you had to say. that night, think a lot about all the things you've done to get over him, and decide to write them down in a lengthy bullet-point list format. 

still refuse to talk to him though. what the fuck would you even say?