Why are conductors so degrading?
I’m a junior in my bachelors degree. I’ve learned so many things in the last four years of my life. Things like: most people don’t believe in you, but they support you... Which is a strange lesson I’ve come to learn.
I want to be a music therapist. I didn’t know this is what I wanted to do until the summer I was twenty-one (for reference I am only twenty-two), so I’m pretty behind in my life goal. I first came this this university with a very small strings program (I’m a violin major, and not a very good one at that) to a person who had a goal to change me from a very bad beginner to a very good musician by the time of my graduation. I’m not upset at him for having an almost impossible goal for me (because I can handle someone yelling at me and giving me stress). I’m upset at how he talks to other people who are actually very talented.
Our orchestra is small, very small. Most of the strings are non-majors, and all of the winds/percussion are majors. So, most of them don’t practice as much as they should. I get it, it can be frustrating, but you have to understand what you have and become a TEACHER which is what he was hired for, not just to conduct. The piece he only gave us a month to learn (which is the most difficult piece I’ve had to just try to get decent) we ran through in rehearsal, and we only have three cellos (only one of them being a major) and I thought the piece was going fine and then he stopped and threw his baton on the podium.
“Tell me what would you do in my position? Do I have to pay you to play this well? But if I was paying someone it definitely wouldn’t be you guys. You guys just suck.”
I tried to understand where he is coming from, but I cannot seem to understand the rage. He chose to come to a small city and turn a program around. Two out of the three aren’t even majors, so they don’t care as much. They do it for fun, not to be the best. He makes so many players who have so much potential just want to quit, or cry because they feel like they’ll never get there and its useless....
I don’t know anymore. Is it really this big of a deal? Am I angry for no reason? I’m unsure. I feel like there are more appropriate ways to handle this situation and he just didn’t do it. Why be vague and say “notes are bad”? Why not say which ones they are for once?
I’m just tired. He makes me wish I never came here to study for music. I don’t feel proud to say he is my teacher. People keep leaving, he keeps making people cry, and he’s so unreasonable...
He’s a good musician, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a good teacher. At this rate we’ll only have one cello in the cello section.
