Absolute Beginners
Chapter one: Breaking a few egg heads
Years after running the Labyrinth, and rescuing her baby brother. Sarah finds herself forming an unlikely friendship with the Goblin King himself.
Sarah Williams was well and truly done with life. Not in a, ‘Oh what a cruel, harsh world!’ sort of way, but more of a ‘If Jareth shows up in my home one more time uninvited, then I may be forced to commit a crime’ sort of way. Don’t get me wrong, the company Jareth provides is rather excellent, a pleasant change from the goblins who she constantly found ransacking her kitchen cabinets and fridge, and he certainly made for intelligent conversation while her university friends were away during the semester break. The only issue with the King of the goblins continuously showing up unannounced, was the sheer amount of glitter that he left behind during each visit. Now Sarah likes glitter just as much as the next girl, but trying to vacuum it out from her carpet, and washing it from her hair was a nightmare! So much so, she now found herself simply leaving the apartment as it was, covered in glitter. Though she had to admit, that in the right lighting (Usually around 5:13 pm) the rooms took on an almost magical look, what with all the glitter…. And dream catchers, and wind chimes.
With a groan, Sarah shouldered her front door open, dropping the heavy grocery bag onto the tiled entrance way, a sickening crack filling the empty apartment. “Shit.” She muttered, looking down at the fabric bag, which was slowly becoming wet at the base, “There go the eggs…” She kicked off her shoes, and frowned down at the bag, knowing full well that it wouldn’t clean itself up, though she damn well hoped that maybe, just maybe if she scowled at it long enough, it would. A familiar gust of wind caught her attention, though not enough to cause her to look up, she knew exactly what it meant, and the sound of the patio doors bursting open only confirmed her suspicion.
“My dear Sarah, I’ve brought you a gift!” called the clipped English accent of the one and only goblin king. Sarah remained staring at the ever-growing pool of shattered egg, that was slowly creeping closer to her sock clad feet. “Hi Jareth.” She smirked, looking up at the ever-glittering king who now stood in the apartment entrance with her. “Any chance you could, you know.” She motioned her hands in what she called, her best magic impression, which was more or less a vertical rendition of jazz hands. Jareth rolled his mismatched eyes, muttering under his breath about not having to wave his hands to perform magic, instead he used crystal balls. With a flourish of his black leather gloved hands, one of said crystals appeared between his fingertips, he twirled it there a moment, watching as Sarah grew impatient, her eyes following the egg yolks as they neared her big toe. With a small chuckle, he lunged the crystal at the mess on the floor, the puddle and shattered egg shells all disappearing in a grand display of glitter. Sarah glanced down at where the murder of twelve innocent individuals had just occurred, nothing was left at the scene of the crime, no one would ever know what had happened. Her eyes travelled up to Jareth’s, a smile playing on her lips. “Remember that chat we had the other day?”
“You mean the one where we discussed whether pork was really a type of vegetable?”
“No, not that o- Wait, when did we have THAT conversation?!”
“Perhaps that was with my advisor Garret, not matter, please continue.”
Sarah shook her head in wonderment, the things that man said were a mystery sometimes. “I meant, the chat we had about you coming to the door like a normal person. I don’t care if you glitter poof outside of my home, just not inside, it takes too long to clean up afterwards.” Sarah watched as Jareth visibly scowled at the use of the word ‘poof’.
“Sarah, precious, I do not poof anywhere. I appear, there is a difference. And besides, I simply had to arrive as suddenly as I did, as I announced when I arrived, I have a gift for you.”
Sarah manoeuvred herself around Jareth, having collected her grocery bags once again, in order to deposit them on her kitchen counter. As she made her way around her kitchen, she found herself trying to recall how this had all started. The whole, Jareth appearing in her apartment and presenting her with gifts.
The 25th of March seemed to spring to mind when thinking about the beginning of this all. It was three years after Sarah had run the labyrinth to reclaim her baby brother Toby from the Goblin King. She had been out with her friends at a house party, where everything was served in a red solo cup, and no one really knew what they were drinking, but it was obvious that whatever it was, it contained copious amounts of alcohol. By the time Sarah had stumbled home, it was past 3 am, and even in her drunken state, she knew to be grateful for her father, Karen and Toby being away for the weekend. She made her way upstairs, after finally managing to unlock the front door, she could’ve sworn she felt small goblin sized hands helping her steady her own shaking hands, to open the door, but they seemed to disappear just as soon as they had appeared. Her typical evening routine was abandoned that night, instead she opted for stripping her rather revealing dress off, and throwing on a pair of sleep shorts and shirt, she could take her makeup off in the morning… Or afternoon, depending on what time she managed to drag herself out of bed. She sat on the edge of her bed for what felt like hours, but was in fact no longer than twenty minutes, her eyes focused on the mirror of her old vanity table, contemplating whether she should call on her old friends again. Ludo, Sir Didymus and Hoggle had always been happy to talk with her, but perhaps not at such an ungodly hour. She shook her head, and sighed. “Goblin King, Jareth, I need you..” She whispered, as tears slipped from her eyes. After such a great night, the last thing Sarah expected herself to be doing was crying, especially over something that had occurred over three years ago!
“Sarah, have you called to wish away another child….” The sneer in His voice fell short as Jareth peered down at the young woman sobbing on her bed. This certainly wasn’t how he had imagined their next meeting, especially not with Sarah looking as she did now, the makeup running down her face was not an appealing look. “I… I’m so sorry Jareth!” Sarah cried out, her wide green eyes seeking out his own, there was such vulnerability there, one he had not seen during her run of his labyrinth. “Sorry for what Sarah?” He smirked slightly at the way she shuddered lightly at the sound of her name from his lips, perhaps there was hope for him yet? His mind danced away from the scene playing out in front of him, paying only a small amount of attention to the blubbering Sarah, explaining why she was sorry. In his mind, Jareth Saw himself and Sarah dancing, which seemed like such a novel idea, especially seeing as there were far more things that were less polite that he would like to picture himself doing with Sarah. Though something caught his eye about their dancing, at first it had seemed like any other ball Jareth would host, or attend in the underground, but this was different. Not different in the layout, or the guests who smiled politely as the couple danced past, but in what Sarah was wearing. It would have meant nothing if the shade of her dress was slightly darker or light, but no, this particular shade of red could mean only one thing. The image playing out in his mind was of their wedding day, more specifically their first dance, and if Jareth had it his way, one day it would no longer be a dream, but instead a reality.
He suddenly found himself jolted out of his dream, by the sound of Sarah blowing her nose, it looked as if she were finally getting to the point of all of this crying. With a deep breath, she launched into a grand speech. “Jareth, I forgive you. All you did was what I asked for. You took Toby to your castle because I wished for you to do so. For years I tried to convince myself that you took him under different circumstances, but I can’t lie to myself any more. Everything I asked for, you did. If anything, I should be thanking you, not hating you!”
Now this took Jareth by surprise, and very little did these days. After living for over a thousand years, it was hard to find anything truly shocking, but this was certainly unexpected. It was as if his brain had stopped working, he couldn’t think of any witty response to Sarah’s sudden change of heart, come to think of it, he couldn’t think of anything to say at all! So instead, he opted for standing in front of the mirror he had appeared through, his mouth agape and nodding along, like some sort of stunned fish. A very regal looking fish, with fabulous hair, but a fish none the less. With one final half smile from Sarah, she fell to her side, head resting against the pillow, and slept.
“That was…. Unexpected.” Jareth murmured, raising an eyebrow down at the sleeping woman. He did not envy her of the headache she would undoubtedly have in the morning, he only hoped she would remember what she had revealed to him. Leaning down, he pressed his lips against her temple, chuckling softly had she hummed happily in her sleep. “Take care Precious.” He whispered, before vanishing through the mirror, leaving the first of many clouds of glitter behind him.
After that first night, Jareth found various reasons to visit Sarah, though he always made sure she had the house to herself before he appeared, knowing full well that she may have found it rather difficult to try and explain the dashingly handsome King in her bedroom. Or as she put it, ‘If my father finds out there has been a man in my room, he will murder me.’ But Jareth much preferred his variation of the story.
As the years passed, Jareth found himself having fewer excuses to visit Sarah, especially after she moved out to her own apartment. There were only so many times he could simply pop over to reclaim one of his goblins, who he most definitely had not sent to her home himself. Besides, if he used that excuse too many times, he feared Sarah may think he was negligent of his care to the goblins… She was right of course, but he would never let her know that! So, instead of taking some time to think of decent excuses to visit her, he began appearing almost daily, with some of the worst reasons imaginable!
“Oh, hello Sarah, I’m so sorry to intrude, but I wanted to offer you this lovely feather duster to replace the one my goblins ran off with the other day. It is of course made of pure chicken feathers.”
“Sarah dear, I wonder if you have any of that mortal pain remedy. Paracetamol I believe it is called? The goblins have given me a terrible migraine.”
“Precious, I was just about to cook myself up a delicious omelette with these fresh eggs, would you care for one?”
“Sarah! I don’t know what to do! The goblins, they… They’re trying to build a catapult! Do they know something that I don’t? Should I be preparing for war? Sarah help!”
“Are you any good with political negotiations? No, don’t ask questions, just give me a yes or no answer. “
“Dear Lord, Sarah! The goblins, they’ve set the bloody hedge maze on fire. It turns out the catapult wasn’t for an upcoming war, no instead they’ve used it to fire burning barrels of ale at the labyrinth!” (This particular instance was followed by Sarah coming home from classes the next morning, to find Jareth seated in her patchwork armchair, elbows resting on his knees, with his chin planted firmly on his interlocked fingers. Without so much as a question asked, Sarah had made her way into the kitchen, leaving Jareth there for thirty minutes, before returning with two bowls of steaming hot pasta, and a glass of wine for each of them. After this occurrence, Sarah found herself no longer dreading Jareth’s impromptu visits, and instead she simply worked around them. Jareth also realised, that perhaps he no longer needed an excuse to visit her any more, and soon found himself inviting himself over whenever he pleased, just for a chat.)
“Sarah? Is there any particular reason you are holding onto those biscuits with such force?” Jareth chuckled, as he smirked at the brunette beauty before him. She had been standing in the same position for the past five minutes, her only movements those of when she breathed, and blinked. She had that far off look in her eyes she often adopted when thinking of particularly fond memories, or dreaming of somewhere she would rather be. Jareth found himself hoping for her to be thinking of memories, and prayed she didn’t despise his presence enough to dream of herself elsewhere. She blinked her eyes slowly, before returning to the kitchen, where her body remained despite her brain being a million miles away. “I… Sorry, I was just thinking about what to do now that I have destroyed all of my eggs. I was supposed to be making a cake for work tomorrow.” She blushed, knowing full well that Jareth knew that was the last thing she had been thinking about. Even though he had no actual clue of what she had been remembering, it doesn’t take a scientist to know that no one spends that long thinking about eggs.
“Well dearest thing, isn’t it just an amazing coincidence that my gift for you, just so happened to be goblin city fresh eggs!” Jareth grinned at the exasperated sigh that came from Sarah. She was onto him! He had used that excuse before to visit her, he had hoped she wouldn’t remember!
“Thank you, Jareth, I do appreciate it. But don’t you want to keep them? Either for yourself or the goblins?”
“The goblins don’t particularly like eggs. They prefer chickens as an animal, alive and clucking, and terrorising my throne room. Not chickens pre, all of that. As for me? I never have a shortage of eggs in the kingdom.”
“Are there really that many chickens in your kingdom, that you have enough eggs to keep you in stock?”
“You have seen my labyrinth love, surely you registered how many chickens there were just hanging about?”
“Well, uh, you see… I had always assumed you had put them there, thinking they were some sort of scare tactic…”
“I… I genuinely do not know how to respond to that Sarah. After setting the cleaners on you, you thought the chickens were there to frighten you?”
Sarah felt the blush creep up her cheeks at hearing how silly it all sounded now that it had been said out loud. And that damned look Jareth was giving her just made her want to scream at him. Instead she threw the pack of biscuits at his head, smirking as it hit him square in the forehead.
“Now that was just rude.” Jareth muttered, and he picked up the biscuit packet off the floor, feeling the broken cookies inside the wrapping.
“That’s two casualties this evening! First the eggs, now the biscuits? When will your murderous spree end Sarah?” Jareth cried in mock horror, his lips curling into a smile as Sarah rolled her eyes at him.
“It will only end when I have murdered the greatest threat this world has ever known!” She declared, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
“Oh? And who is that my dear?”
Read chapter two here
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