Calling to a) the Spoopy season and b) the best AU fic I have ever fucking read (co shout out to @koortega for the gifset): What does Halloween look like in the Post!Confidence Trick household :D Ethan and Amy are probably adorable and get all the candy, amiright?
This is the adorable Halloween prompt I didn’t know I needed! Thank you darling! And HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!
Confidence Trick is my Mafia Garcyatt AU based on a gifset by @koortega.
Flynn wasn’t paranoid, no matter what Lucy and Wyatt kept telling him.
He just thought it was only wise that they take extra precautions for the day. A bunch of people walking around in masks? If he was a hitman tasked with taking care of Lucy and Garcia Flynn, former mafiosos for the most powerful Russian crime family in the books, he’d pick a day like Halloween to do it. Everyone was in costume. Nobody would even suspect.
Lucy was much more concerned with getting Ethan and Amy’s costumes right. Amy wanted to be a pirate. “Pirate king,” she would say, in her best imitation of Kiera Knightley’s voice, when anyone asked. Ethan wanted to be Patch from 101 Dalmations, his current film obsession. Flynn knew that entire animated film by heart now, and Lucy and Wyatt liked to pretend it annoyed them when he would sing “Cruella DeVil” under his breath but he had overheard Lucy telling Wyatt it was annoyingly attractive so check and mate to him.
Wyatt’s concern was the house decorations. “We never did stuff like this when I was a kid,” he explained when Flynn asked him if buying so many fake gravestones for the front yard was really necessary. “My house was kind of out of the way and so we never did anything for Halloween. And my dad never let me trick or treat.”
As usual, when Wyatt mentioned something that hinted at his awful father, especially when accompanied by a blush and that slight pout, Flynn went softer than melted butter. So Wyatt had decorated the entire damn house, inside and out (the first floor, anyway, Flynn was not having bats or spiders in his damn bedroom) so trick or treaters could wander through and have an age-appropriately scary haunted house to walk through.
“Flynn?” Lucy called. “Darling? My love? Light of my life?”
“Yes?” Flynn stuck his head out from the kitchen, where he was trying to find where he and Wyatt had hidden the Halloween candy for the trick or treaters. They’d had to hide it, because this was their fourth attempt at buying said candy.
Lucy had eaten all three previous attempts.
The woman herself marched in, holding up Amy’s gorgeous dark blue pirate coat. “Why did I find a GPS tracker in the collar of this coat?”
Busted. “Um...”
Lucy set the coat down and slid her hands up his chest. “Garcia. They’re going to be okay. You and I will be with them the whole time. Wyatt will be at home if something goes wrong.”
“If someone comes after us--if they find us--you know we look away for just a moment and they’ve run off somewhere, on tonight, of all nights...”
“Nobody will come.” Lucy sounded so sure. “It’s going to be okay.”
“But we don’t know that.” Flynn ran a hand through his hair. “I know it’s ridiculous. I know it’s been a decade. But it just--it helps me to--to feel better, to know that I took precautions. The last time I didn’t take precautions, I lost my family. And I could never lose any of you.”
Lucy’s face was soft, her eyes glittering as she gently fixed his hair. “All right, darling. If it’s what you need.” She paused. “Wyatt found the cameras you put up, by the way.”
“That’s not for mafia hitmen, that’s in case some teenagers decide to get smart and try to swipe anything.”
“What could they possibly swipe?”
“Family photographs?”
“Family photographs.”
“It’s the one thing you can’t replace,” Flynn said, grinning, and Lucy smacked his arm.
“Every day I regret letting you two watch John Mulaney. Every. Day.”
“Tata!” Amy yelled. “Where’s my coat! I wanna be a pirate now!”
Flynn was well aware he was an absolute sucker for his daughter, thanks. “Right here, little mouse!”
“I’m not a mouse, I’m the pirate king,” Amy said, stomping into the kitchen with her pirate boots already on. Ethan trailed behind her, his puppy ears affixed to his head but his makeup not done yet.
“Are you ready to go too?” Lucy asked their son.
“Ruff!” was Ethan’s response.
“I’m gonna fucking die,” Wyatt said, entering with--oh, huh, he had the Halloween candy, no wonder Flynn couldn’t find it. “They’re too fuckin’ cute.”
“I’m not cute, I’m the king!” Amy protested. “Daddy, don’t say I’m cute!”
“Apologies, your majesty,” Wyatt said solemnly. Flynn bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to stifle his laugh. “Of course you’re not cute, you’re very imperious.”
“What’s imperious mean?”
“Frightening but in a kingly kind of way.”
“Yessssss.” Amy let Lucy put her coat on. “I’m gonna get so much candy!”
“A hyperactive nine-year-old,” Wyatt mumbled. “Just what we’re gonna love dealing with at ten at night.”
Flynn kissed him, and tasted peanut butter. “Sneaking Reese’s?” he murmured.
“Says the man who tastes like Skittles.”
“Fair play.”
“Okay, okay, let me do Ethan’s makeup and we’ll get pictures!” Lucy said.
Ethan and Amy groaned dramatically. “Why?” Ethan asked.
“Because your fathers look very handsome and they’ll only let me take a picture if you’re in it,” Lucy replied.
That seemed to be all right with the kids. Lucy put white and black makeup on Ethan’s face to fully puppify him, and then they all gathered for the photo. The three of them had thought about doing a three-way costume, but it was difficult to find something that worked for all of them, and Wyatt was going to be at home the whole time anyway. Instead, Lucy and Flynn had gone with Morticia and Gomez Addams, and Wyatt had opted for Peter Quill because he figured a friendly face would help the smaller kids who were scared by the decorations and also Flynn had once sarcastically told him he “sure was mature enough to be Peter.”
Flynn would never, ever tell him that he looked cute as fuck in that leather jacket and with his tiny little Groot sticking out of his pocket.
Pictures taken, the kids were squirming with impatience. Flynn double-checked that the cameras worked (they did) and that Wyatt knew how to find and hit the silent alarm (he did) and that the kids’ GPS trackers were on (they were).
“What the hell are we going to tell the neighbors if they ever find out about shit like this?” Wyatt asked as the four of them bid goodbye before hitting the neighborhood (or, in Amy’s case, “pirating the neighborhood, avast!”).
“That we’re spies,” Lucy replied simply. “Do me a favor, sweetheart, and try not to start too many rumors about who’s cheating on whom while we’re gone?”
“It’s not my fault they decided I’m the single one!” Wyatt protested. “You’re the one who nearly got into a fistfight with whatshername when she tried to flirt with me!”
“Just be good,” Lucy responded, and then she was taking their kids by the hands and leading them down the street.
Flynn surreptitiously snapped a picture of the three of them walking hand-in-hand, a dopey grin on his face. “You heard her,” he told Wyatt. “Be good.”
“I’m always good,” Wyatt retorted.
“Sure you are.”
“Tata!” Amy shouted. “I can’t pirate without my first mate!”
“Coming, Pirate King!” Flynn yelled. “She’s gonna be a holy terror when she’s older.”
“You say that like she’s not a holy terror now,” Wyatt replied. “Go, catch up, I’ll see you guys in a couple hours.”
Flynn kissed him softly and then hurried after the rest of his family, scooping Amy up and making her shriek and giggle. Lucy smiled at him, that same warm, adoring smile that he still couldn’t believe he’d earned, as Ethan barked at other people who walked by and tried to wag his tail.
It was going to be okay, he told himself. It was going to be a fun night.
It was.
