Lodger: Part 1 - Hershey's, Inc.
Lodger is a series in which Phil explores the consumer complaint letter as a literary form. More letters can be found at his other blog, The Complaint Lodge.
I recently purchased a baggy of Twizzler’s NIBS from the vending machine at work. The NIBS were covered with a strange, waxy substance, which wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but which definitely wasn’t supposed to be there. Please send me some free licorice as an apology.
Thank you for contacting us about TWIZZLERS NIBS Licorice Candy. I am sorry you were disappointed and appreciate you bringing this to our attention.
I believe the product you have purchased was exposed to excessive heat and/or humidity somewhere in distribution. These conditions can affect the texture and flavor of the product. To help our products reach you in good condition, we have printed instructions on our shipping cases to inform all distributors of the proper handling and storage of our products.
We apologize for the problem you experienced with our product. You will receive a coupon by postal mail in 2-4 weeks.
We appreciate your loyalty as a consumer.
Maria
Consumer Representative
Like almost all of them, this response appears to have been written by an actual person. Maria’s personalized message forced me to consider that my letters were not being read by a computer, and I thereafter adjusted the tone of my prose (not really).
The coupon I received was good for $2.00 off any Hershey’s product. Yes!
