#contemplative mind

[dramoor]

“To a silent tongue and a contemplative mind, You draw near, O All-Holy Spirit, bridegroom of my soul.  You avoid a talkative soul as a swan avoids a stormy lake.  Like a swan you swim across the quiet of my heart and make it fruitful.”

~St. Nikolai Velimirovich, Prayers By the Lake

(Photo © dramoor 2013 Dublin, Ireland)

[rpaulson]

[wildernesscrying101-blog]

My First Day on Retreat or a Six Takes a Hike

In the middle of the day, I decided to take a walk into town. I needed fiber so my plan was to hike the long way to the CVS and get some exercise. The directions given to me by my spiritual director were fresh on my mind: Stay on the grassy path. Don’t walk on the road, over the hill, because it is too dangerous. Keep to the grass until you come to the Baptist Church and then make a right . 

All right, got it… thanks for the heads up, I said.

I was on my way. Everything was looking good. I started down the entrance drive (or exit, depending on how you look at it) with my backpack containing cash, my  fully charged iPhone and a water bottle, and with my camera strapped across my shoulder just in case I wanted to snap a few shots of the scenic countryside. I calculated the entire journey would be 4 miles tops to and from the CVS if I took the circular route into the historic part of town. 

When I arrived at the top of the drive, I turned right and kept to the narrow path next to the road, except the path ended at the rise of a curve, leaving me with no other choice than to walk on the slender strip of pavement that was a poor excuse for a shoulder. Traffic zoomed by in typical New Jersey fashion, without adherence to the speed limit. I was stuck at the curve in the road. 

Do I continue my journey on the narrow margin beside the curve or do I take the long way around, through the path that bordered the soy bean fields? Sister said to walk on the grass not the road didn’t she?  

My fear of walking too close to the highway got the better of me. I imagined a random driver texting and clipping me as I rounded the curve. Never even saw me. 

I opted for the grass next to the field, a slower but safer choice, thinking it must be the grassy path I was advised to take.

The grass was uneven, browned out in spots and strewn with honeysuckle, goldenrod and wild geranium. Dots of blue morning glory pierced the dense green of the overgrown landscape. Pretty. My steps interrupted more than a few grasshoppers, some bees buzzing around the flowering clover, and an occasional butterfly or two. I smiled at the sight of empty airport bottles of gin and tequila that shimmered in the dirt like misshapen jewels. A red tailed hawk circled the sky above the fields. I didn’t mind this rugged road…at first. 

The terrain slowly became wilder and thicker with grasses and brush. Earlier, I had changed my shoes to sturdier sneakers and threw on a  pair of white socks, but my socks were anklets and I was wearing capris, which left a good deal of my leg exposed above the ankle. What if there were ticks in the high grass and I caught Lyme Disease? What if I got chiggers? I am especially prone to chiggers. All that fierce scratching? No thank you!

 Considering my proximity to the soybean field, I figured the crop had been dusted with pesticides, so I continued on my way, scratching my legs now and then and dodging grasshoppers as I walked. Maybe it was specific pesticide that wasn’t meant for grasshoppers or butterflies, I reasoned. Didn’t Michael J. Fox attribute his Parkinson’s Disease to exposure to pesticides when he was a kid?

I was only a few yards away from the parking lot of the Baptist Church where I could make a right hand turn and maybe find a sidewalk when I came to a stop. A deep gully severed the path. There was no way I could jump over to the other side. If I wore hiking gear, perhaps I could have climbed through the plunging thicket, but even then it would have been like trudging through a murky swamp. Who knew what lived down there? Snakes… rodents? It might be a quagmire. I had to turn around. 

I returned to the narrow verge next to the curved road, again faced with the same dilemma as I had been earlier -the high speed road with no shoulder or the rough trail beside the fields? 

I decided to walk back towards the retreat house on a wide path that cut through the center of the soybeans and a cornfield. This path was bigger and easier to tread. Half eaten ears of yellow corn littered the brown dirt. Could there be rats hiding in these fields? I didn’t see a scarecrow. What sort of critter was snacking on the corn? 

When I finally came to the end of the path, I turned left towards the church, congratulating myself that I had found an alternate route, when I reached another dead end. The gully, the gulch, the ravine or whatever the heck that thing was, was back again! Only this time it appeared steeper and more impassible. 

Given the reappearance of the gully and the lateness of the day, I decided to forego my quest for dietary fiber and to turn back. Heading home with a new resolve to start my journey afresh in the morning, I inspected the ground. I noticed that I was hiking through some suspicious looking ivy vines. My memory rewound back to my girl scout days. Virginia creeper?  Or was it poison ivy? Oh man, I hope it’s not poison ivy. Whatever it was, the plant was certainly prolific, climbing all over the path and surrounding grasses. I kicked a cobweb out of my way and almost turned my ankle as I stumbled over the knobby ground. Where did the spider go? Better check my socks. 

I picked up my pace, and tried to leap over the spots that looked like poison ivy growth. To my left was a lane of chain link fence, browned out arborvitae evergreens and border shrubs that separated small ranch style homes and yards from the narrow path next to the field. I glimpsed rows of attached backyards with over grown gardens, above ground swimming pools, rusted out swing sets, bird feeders, plastic lawn ornaments, and at he end of the row-two very pissed off pit bulls. 

Yikes! The dogs growled and barked and threw themselves at the fence as soon as they saw me. Frustrated when their brute force wasn’t enough to push through to where I stood, frozen in my tracks on the other side, the dogs tried to scratch and claw their way up and over the fence, but thankfully not high enough to reach the top. 

The dogs sensed my fear which made them act crazier.Their barks grew louder and more menacing. I thought if I stood there and didn’t move, that they might calm down and go back to chilling in the yard, but no…they were mad to get me. What was I thinking, making eye contact with these dogs! I’m no Caesar Milan.  I had to get going.

I walked fast and then ran. The tenacious dogs followed me to the end of the chain link fence and then disappeared toward the side yard, running I assumed, to the front where they could make a break. Oh God, I thought as I ran past the perimeter of the backyard, what if they break through to a neighbor’s yard that’s not fenced in? They might find a way through the hedges. I could hear the dogs yelping in the distance and I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my system urging me to run faster. I can’t out run them. I’ll be mauled to death by these hounds. I envisioned the headlines on Fox news.

I sprinted all the way back to the farmhouse, catching my breath as I finally collapsed on a bench that faced the back of the soybean field. Safe at last, I began my centering prayer, thankful that I wasn’t torn to shreds by the hounds from hell.

Where did I meet God today, Sister will ask me when I meet her for direction. I don’t know if I met God, but God certainly showed me myself in all my sixness. Sitting on that bench I saw my whole life in a flash, how I always try to micro-manage the road, tweaking what I’d prefer not to face, whether real or imagined.

To meet myself while paying attention to my thoughts… What a surprise!

When will I learn that there is no such thing as a safe road, even when it is padded with grass and away from the highway?  I can’t travel and be my own traffic controller at the same time.  All my maneuvering to avoid trouble was just a waste of energy anyway, only leading me to a more fearful situation.

A favorite priest often shares that when we are given a burden to bear on the road, God always gives us a gift to bear it.

Maybe, my gifts today were the grasshoppers reminding me to have fun along the way and to not take myself or the road too seriously; the honeysuckle strung between the reeds like party lanterns meant to brighten an event; the dreamy, golden haze of the corn and soybean fields that stretched on for acres in the afternoon sun like God’s grace; the ever present hum of faithful crickets anchoring me to all that’s familiar and trusted; the receding rhythm of the highway traffic like ocean waves in the distance; and my favorite -the chain link fence.

The road is just the road. Walk it in good faith, a hard but not impossible task for a six. 

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? - Luke 12: 25-26

[denisehess]

As many have said in varying ways, you can (1) Do the old thing with the old mind (“conservatives”), (2) Do a new thing with the old mind (“liberals”), or (3) Do a new thing with a new mind. Only the third way deserves to be called authentic religion. The other two stances often avoid the necessary dying to self which is called transformation. The new mind could be called the contemplative mind. The new thing is always love—at ever-deeper levels.

[libertytowords-blog]

Thoughts

Oh great complex void You swirling vortex of tangled Nothing but a mess; a mess

So completely entangled Amidst each other Woven; like a delicate spider web Crossing each other every once in a while

Twisted and gnarled Much like barbed wire At the front of a battle

Sometimes it feels similar Going at war with thyself Battling each fragment of thought with the next

And then I think to myself 

Settle!

But the mind is restless and unyielding Much like a wasp that refuses to be contained It fills a blank canvas with endless contemplation With bright colors and then some dark Would we even have light without the grim?

So weaving and weaving It fills the cavern Canvas after canvas And never ending consideration and thought

Will it ever stop?

A part of me wishes so, But then another says

Dear heavens, I implore not!

-Sade Penn

[blueperk]

Contemplative Mind

Now, months into my blog I keep on asking myself, "what else can I do to expand my content?" This never ending questions haunts me each day. Even more so when I know my blog fills a certain niche that isn't being filled. Though I rack my brain daily thinking of different ways to bring in more readers, challenge myself, create a unique style, and manage my daily life. I can't stop but want to continue to grow my blog.

Over the past two months I have used Harper's to my advantage, giving you the reader an inside view at what my daily runs are and some of the tasks I come across. Though this has taken up 3/5 days of my week. My internship is quickly coming to an end. With that in mind, I want to focus even more on my blog. Add more than just my personal style and showroom visits. Some ideas I have are: 

Exploring my friends closets and styling them with my personal touch.

Visiting showrooms while showing you my favorite looks from their collections.

Sunday Stylist.

Favorite Thrifts in NYC.

Inside on top PR companies

Editorial internship tips.

Extended fashion week coverage in February.

 Which of these are you most excited for?