Artist Name: Maiglöckchen I Artist Social: @convallariini on Tumblr, convallariini on Instagram
Writer Name: Akajed I Writer Social: akajed on AO3
Breathe, Dean tells himself. Stay calm. Cas can’t have disappeared into thin air, he doesn’t have the juice any more.
The door of the tall locker at the end is swinging open and the keys are hanging from the lock. It’s big enough for someone to hide inside but there’s nothing there. Dean takes a hammer to the other lockers and works his way through them until he’s smashed open all the doors. It’s not the most logical thing to do but it’s one way to channel the rising tide of panic.
His angel—his man, he corrects himself—has vanished.
--from stories, not atoms by akajed
Itching to get your hands on the rest of this story & art collaboration? For a limited time only, you can grab your own gorgeous copy of To Hell + Back: A Destiel Anthology now from February 14 through February 28, 2021 at our pop-up shop here!
Do hurry, because after February 28, 2021, 11:59 PM PT, this book will never again be available! This 3lb brick of Destiel goodness, featuring 80+ creators, is filled with stories, comics, poetry, full pages of art, and podfics! This is an exclusive anthology celebrating Dean and Castiel’s legacy—truly a keepsake you will not want to miss! Ships April 2021.
Your tags are still my favorite part of posting! ❤️❤️
YOUUU <33 nonsense!! your BEAUTIFUL and STUNNING artwork is my favourite part of when you post <33 but now I’m going to make sure I babble to my heart’s content in the tags next time because everything you create is amazing <3
For @convallariini, who bribed me with emoji coffee from halfway around the world.
The war room is quiet. Sam’s turned in for the night, but Dean and Cas are still awake, sharing the silence over a few beers.
Well, Dean’s doing the drinking. Cas is just sitting, his hands folded in his lap, but he seems content.
“What was it like?”
Cas looks over, brow furrowed in question. “What?”
Dean inclines his head, and Cas follows his gaze up to the clock high on the wall. It’s just turned past midnight. “I mean, we’re going on nine years now, and you’ve never talked about it. So, getting me out – what was it like?”
Cas looks at him a moment before shrugging. “It was a mission.”
“Yeah,” Dean says. “And?”
“It was extremely violent.”
“Go figure.”
Cas throws him a look. “We fought. Demons mostly, but other things too. I don’t know for how long; time in Hell is more… abstract than it is here.”
“Yeah, I remember,” Dean says. They lapse back into silence, Cas’ face now turned thoughtful. Eventually, Dean speaks up again. “Why you?”
“My garrison was the best equipped. We had the requisite military experience.”
“No, not your garrison.” Dean shakes his head. “Why you?”
Cas shrugs again. “I got there first.”
Dean huffs a disbelieving laugh. “What, just random chance? That’s it?”
“That’s not enough?”
That pulls Dean up short for a moment. “I don’t know, I guess just… after everything, everything that’s happened since, I figured there would’ve been more to it. Some cosmic plan or something.”
Cas tilts up the corner of his mouth. “When have we ever been ones for cosmic plans?”
“Alright, good point.” Dean chuckles slightly. “Just with you and me… it’s hard to chalk us up to random chance.”
Cas turns to look at him fully, his chair squeaking loudly in the quiet room. “I don’t. I think of it as free will.”
Dean nods, a slow smile inching across his face. “Free will. Yeah, alright, I can get behind that.”
Cas smiles back, his eyes soft. Dean holds his gaze a long moment, then he stands and moves over, his knees bumping into Cas’ chair. Then he leans down and kisses him gently. Cas smiles into the kiss, then reaches up to trace his fingers along Dean’s jaw.
We’d like to give a special shout-out to @cas-watches-over-you, who was the first person to guess correctly (on our very first teaser post, no less!) that the wonderful @convallariini is going to be To Hell + Back Anthology’s Digital Exclusive cover artist ...great job!
If you’re not already following Maig, please go now! She’s a kind and truly lovely person, her art is seriously stunning, and we feel like she’s a bit of a hidden gem in the SPN fandom who deserves all the love for her creations. We can’t wait to see what beautiful work she dreams up for this project!
What is To Hell + Back?
Eight nerds. One television show. One city.
It was Dean and Cas who brought our team together and now we’re bringing you an anthology as an ode to the Supernatural family we’ve built. This anthology, inspired by homemade zines from fandom history, is not-for-profit, will be printed exclusively via crowd-funding raised by our fandom, and will feature fan creations made specifically for this project. Our group is passionate about transparency and diversity, and we will be broadcasting every step of our project on our social media to remain responsible and accountable throughout the anthology-making process.
Our group is composed of: @60r3d0m, @casthewise, @destimushi, @dusky-rambles, @justholdingstill, @naruhearts, @ravenscat-tumbler, and @thebloggerbloggerfun.
Who are you looking for?
Calling all short story writers, artists, comic creators, drabblers, poets and podficcers!
Our multimedia anthology comes in two parts: a print anthology and a digital exclusive! Our print anthology will showcase 33 collaborative writer-artist teams and our digital exclusive will feature 10 drabble writers, 10 poets, 20 artists, and as many podficcers as we can get! Together, these 106+ creators will form the heart and soul of To Hell + Back!
Interested in creating content for our anthology? No experience is required! You can find out more information on our Wiki as well as on our blog!
When can I sign up?
Sign-ups are open now and we have recently extended our application & sample submission deadline to October 12, 2019, at 11:59 PM PST. See the full schedule here.
Where can I sign up?
Apply to be part of the anthology here! Please note that there is a second part to the sign-up process where you will be asked to submit a small sample of your craft. This second link will be sent in a welcome email within 72 hours of signing up.
Where can I reach you if I have any questions?
In addition to Tumblr and the Wiki, we’re available on Twitter, Instagram, and via email at [email protected]! Please feel welcome to send us your questions and concerns via any of our channels of communication. We want to hear from you!
Castiel has died and been brought back to life more times than he can remember, but for the first time, coming back to the bunker feels like coming home.
Sam and Dean turn in early, both clearly exhausted. Castiel assures them he’ll still be here in the morning, and he means it. Still, he doesn’t blame Dean for the doubt that flickers across his face.
It’s hours later, when Castiel is idly walking the hallways, that he hears Dean cry out, muted and feeble. Castiel moves quickly down the hall and doesn’t bother knocking, just pushes open the door. Light from the hallway spills into the darkness and falls across Dean on the bed. He’s still asleep, but very obviously in the midst of a nightmare, his feet kicking fitfully at the sheets.
“Dean,” Castiel tries softly, taking a few steps into the room. Drawing closer, he can see the tension on Dean’s face, and the sweat that’s broken out across his brow. “Dean. Wake up.”
But Dean doesn’t wake, he only whimpers, and Castiel can see tears start to leak out of his eyes.
Castiel moves right up to him, bending down and shaking his arm gently. “Dean, it’s just a dream.” When Dean still doesn’t respond, Castiel grips his shoulder instead and sits on the edge of the bed. Then there’s a loud clatter of glass, and Castiel looks down to find a large pile of beer bottles by his feet.
It’s then that Dean finally wakes, gasping and jerking upright. Castiel pulls his hand away as Dean’s arms start flailing out in panic. His t-shirt is soaked in sweat and sticking to his skin.
“It’s alright, you’re okay,” Castiel says quickly. “It’s just me.”
“Cas, you –” Dean gasps.
“I’m sorry, you – it looked like you were having a nightmare, I was trying to wake you.”
Dean stares at him, his chest heaving and his eyes glassy and wild.
“Are you,” Castiel says, starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Perhaps he shouldn’t have intruded. “Are you alright?”
Dean takes a few more breaths, then one hand shoots out to yank at the lapel of Castiel’s coat. Castiel is tugged forward, then Dean lets go only to wrap both arms around Castiel’s back and bury his face in his shoulder.
Castiel hesitates only a moment before he’s bringing his arms up as well, pulling Dean in tight. Dean exhales heavily, his breath hot against Castiel’s neck.
It takes a while for Dean’s breathing to even out, but when it does, Castiel loosens his grip and tries to move away. But Dean only holds him tighter, hands fisting the back of his coat.
“Nope,” he mumbles. “This is happening.”
Castiel smiles, and then on instinct, and without really planning to, he tilts his head and presses a kiss into Dean’s hair, just above his ear.
It was apparently the wrong thing to do, because Dean freezes, going totally rigid in Castiel’s arms.
This time when Castiel pulls away, Dean lets him. “I’m sorry,” he says, as Dean looks at him with wide eyes. “That was, um, awkward.”
Dean’s breathing hard again, and Castiel thinks he should probably leave. He starts to shift away, but then Dean reaches out with both hands, cupping his face and pulling him in and Castiel is fairly certain he’s the one dreaming this time because Dean is kissing him.
It takes a few seconds of shocked disbelief, but then Castiel is kissing him back, bringing his hands up to Dean’s shoulders. It’s desperate and a little needy, and Castiel can feel the wetness of Dean’s tears on his cheeks, but it’s the two of them, finally, together – years of want and need narrowed down to one perfectly imperfect moment.
Then Dean starts to talk, gasping harshly against Castiel’s lips between kisses. “Cas, Cas, god you were dead. You were dead again –”
Castiel cuts him off, pushing his tongue into Dean’s mouth and moving hands up into his hair – anything to prove that it’s over, that Castiel’s alright; he’s here and he’s not leaving again.
Dean half whimpers, half moans, then he pushes forward and takes control. He’s demanding, taking, but Castiel is more than willing to give. He’s taking just as much.
After a while Dean’s hands drop down and start to push the coat and suit jacket off Castiel’s shoulders. Castiel helps him drag it off, then Dean’s shaking hands start to tug at the knot of his tie. “It gets harder every time, Cas,” he says, and he’s crying again. “Why does it only ever get harder?”
“I’m sorry,” Castiel whispers, because he is, and because it’s all he can say. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Dean shakes his head. “Don’t,” he chokes out. “Don’t –”
But that’s all he gets out before he drops his head and buries it at Castiel’s collar. His hands curl into the starched white fabric of the dress shirt and he’s sobbing, his whole body trembling violently.
Tears are soaking through Castiel’s shirt, Dean is sniffling and shaking, and Castiel just holds him, stroking a slow hand down his back and resting his chin on the top of Dean’s head.
They sit in the darkness for a long while. Eventually Dean stops crying and leans up, then grimaces at the wet marks on Castiel’s chest. “Sorry,” he says quietly, reaching out his fingers to try and wipe it away.
Castiel smiles softly and shakes his head. He brings his thumb up to Dean’s face and rubs it through the tear tracks on his cheeks, then leans in to press a kiss there, just below Dean’s eye. Dean lets out a shaky breath, but Castiel moves over and does the same to the other eye, then dips his head and kisses him on the lips again. It’s briefer, gentler, and it tastes like salt.
“Will you stay?” Dean asks, after they break apart.
“Of course,” Castiel says. He kicks off his shoes and after a moment of consideration, pulls his loosened tie over his head as well. Dean moves over and throws back the covers, and Castiel sinks down beside him.
Dean wraps arms around his waist and pulls him in tight, forehead pressing into his neck. Castiel pulls the blankets up over them both, then brings his own hands around to continue tracing gentle circles on Dean’s back.
“And Cas,” Dean says, voice a little muffled. “Will you. . . stay?”
Castiel tips his head down and kisses Dean’s forehead. “Yes.”
convallariini replied to your post “Help me find a workout video! It was a 10 minute workout to lose belly...”
If the dog was called Alfie and the girl was blond, then I'd say it might be something from Rebecca Louise?
No, it’s not her, I used to make my own workout routine from Rebecca’s videos. The girl I’m looking for had dark hair. They probably deleted her video :/
