Me: you ever seen Twilight?
Lucifer: *smiling* the movie???
Me: you know about Twilight?
Lucifer: ????? I suppose you could say I know about Twilight. Yeah.
Me: so you know about the whole thing where Bella wants Edward to fuck her but he’s scared of destroying her with his crazy vampire dick?
Lucifer: I recall
Me: cause it’s like he would fuck her so hard she dies?
Lucifer: … yes
Me: k so is that like, applicable to you and like- us? Do you hold back so you don’t like- obliterate me?
Lucifer: *laughing*
Me: yeah haha but like seriously
Lucifer: I think the connotation around deity sex and the idea that it’d be extremely rough and pounding is interesting but kind of misguided. Or, at least for me. I mean don’t get me wrong, I can fuck hard. But obliterate you with my dick? There’s no real reason why it’d have to be like that for me to be satisfied.
Me: well you’re just so much bigger than me it’d seem somewhat idk, obvious that you would rip me apart if you went full feral on me.
Lucifer: *smiling* But I’ve gone full feral on you. I might not rip your guts apart but I do leave you sweating shaking and dazed beyond belief so I’d say the intensity is retained.
Me: so there’s no like full blown hunger where you just go monster mode
Lucifer: Hypothetically, sure. I could certainly overwhelm you, fill you, drain you of your blood, your everything but it’s not necessary for me to get off really. There are likely other deities and demons who would be far too intense to engage with mortals, I just… don’t personally need to go so extreme to have enjoyable sex I suppose. At least not with you.
Me: So you’re saying you have no deep fucked up fantasies about me, Lucifer?
Lucifer: It wouldn’t be so much like that. The idea of breaking or overwhelming you to the point where you die would really only do it to me in a context of … perhaps overwhelming pleasure. I suppose you could say I have a fantasy about having you deep in ritual for multiple days, over stimulating and pleasuring you constantly until you’re absolutely fried, hacking your nervous system. In that sense sure, but I don’t think that would kill you. You’d maybe go a little brain dead. I could possess you overwhelmingly until you experience ego death but at that point the pleasure is gone because you’re gone. So.
Me: so you really don’t hold back at all?
Lucifer: With sex, how hard I actually fuck you, no, not really. I don’t really need to. I definitely hold back when consuming you. I don’t drink from you when you haven’t eaten, and even when I do drink it’s only a certain amount. But that’s because I’m turned on by the devotional act. Your blood gets me high, but you also get me high. And there are times when giving more does give me pleasure. But there’s a perfect amount, and an upper threshold. Too much and it becomes degradation. If you were bled in any other context, it wouldn’t do anything for me.
Me: you don’t have a fantasy about just drinking from me as much as you want?
Lucifer: I don’t actually have a blood kink. Like I said the most arousing idea would be fucking and occupying you completely for as long as I want. I would drink from you continuously but it wouldn’t kill you. The big “oh no” wouldn’t be me ripping you apart with my dick, but rather maybe keeping you in a dungeon for a week- or for the rest of your life.
Me: Do you want to do that?
Lucifer: well Edward doesn’t really want to kill Bella. And I don’t want to kill you either. Like sure, if you’re asking me what the most dangerous and extreme outcome is, then it’s probably that. But that’s very preventable. I also cannot get you pregnant with a vampire baby. So.
Me: Bella should have just given Edward her period blood as a treat honestly.
Lucifer: well there you go. I have no real reason to ‘obliterate’ you because you already satisfy me. I don’t really ache with a sick sense of guilt every time I touch you because I want to rip you apart. If anything I want to hide you away and shield you like a precious treasure.
Me: So like that guy from Lord of the Rings
Lucifer: … ?? Smeagol?
Me: ?? No Dobby- or- HAHAAH (LMFAO THATS THE OTHER LITTLE THING FROM HARRY POTTER)
Lucifer: Gollum?
Me: AHAHAHHAHAAHA
