Apr 11, 2021
“Tommy, do you know where the library is?” Technoblade asked calmly
seen from Australia
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“Tommy, do you know where the library is?” Technoblade asked calmly
wilbur: wait- sorry- technoblade are you offering something i think youre about to offer?
techno: th- the farm?
wilbur: what kind of farm, techno?
techno: i was thinking carrots- wHAT KIND OF FARM DO YOU THINK, WILBUR?? WHO DO YOU THINK I AM??!!
“Look I’m an atheist, but when god sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate, okay? I want him to hesitate” is the best quote fucking ever and it was said by Mr. Certified Minecraft Man Technoblade and I will never forget that the true full context is
“It was on, okay? The competition was on. I became a potato farming machine. The next week all I did was farm potatoes in skyblock. I only took breaks to eat and sleep, and outside of that I took two additional breaks. The first one was because of a dentist appointment, and the second one was because my dad asked me to go pick up his medicine from the pharmacy. And like. I remember him texting me that. And thinking. ‘Am I really,, gonna tell my father,,, that I can’t go get his medicine,,, because I’m farming potatoes in Minecraft? Am I really going to do that?’ And look, I’m an atheist, but when god sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate, okay? I want him to hesitate”
so to all of you non-mcyt ppl out there,,,,, here. This is my favorite thing. This is my favorite thing ever. Here are some close runners up favorite quotes from Technoblade
“I think that what the rats are trying to say that a pig sitting in alleyways throwing swords is no basis for a system of government.”
“Officer I drop kicked that child in self defense, you’ve gotta believe me”
“I’ve seen Irish famines with more potatoes then this farm”
“I wake up on Monday, I stab celebrities in Minecraft, and then I go to sleep for another week. What else- pfft, what else is there to do?”
“This man... made 8 potato 11 minions........ and then he pAINTED THE MONA LISA-”
“The worst thing is to hear some nerd scream “spiders!!!1!1!!!!!” And then your wand is gone, your dreams are gone, and you live out the rest of your days slowly spiraling into depression because you have nothing left to live for anymore”
“While other youtubers wasted their lives making good content and having girlfriends. I. Studied. The CRAFT.”
“Congratulations, somehow, against all odds, you managed to ruin a staff members day. Congratulations”
“I just wanna stab people for coins I don’t wanna talk”
“If hypixel has taught me anything its that if you have a problem. The answer. Is slavery.”
“She is going to eat them, okay? They are going to be mean and she is going to devour them, like Kirby getting a power up”
“When you’ve got 50,000 people it’s inevitable that some of them are going to be serial killers. There’s nothing you can do about that, that’s their problem, all you can do is look at the camera and say “yo. murder is cringe”
“Listing war crimes like “first war crime: world domination, second world crime: wrong chair, violated seating arrangements”
“I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE BECAUSE MINECRAFT IS THE ONLY THING I HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY FOR”
Yeah. The good shit. Favorite YouTuber lmao this man is ridiculous. 10/10 would recommend watching this deranged criminal.
*a zombie in ponk's redstone contraption*
foolish: it's like a little electrician!!
ponk, shooting it: well, the electrician's going to die. we can't afford employees here
Quackity: Why wouldn’t Tubbo want us there?
Tommy: Because he thinks we’re going to embarrass him in front of his husband, which frankly [stands up aggressively], is insulting!!
Tommy: Aw man all the orange soda spilled out of my cereal
I climb to the top of The Dome and who else has left me a note but God himelf
- Jack Manifold, King of The Dome, 2021
Tommy: Oh Wilbur
Wilbur: You can't do this to me, I'm dodging, I'm ducking
Tommy: I am not throwing away my-
Tommy: *Misses*
Tommy: Oh fuck
“It’s my event and you’re all my husbands”
Representation win/j