theres nothing more frustrating than the fact that i cant remember the good parts of my life. i know those parts happened; in fact im pretty sure the good parts took up the vast majority of my life! but i dont remember any of that. pretty much all that i remember is the worst parts of my life, and a few tidbits from the after that are what confirm a good part of my life for me.
its just like. i remember so much about the parts of my life that scarred me forever. i know so much of the specific hurts they inflicted on me. i dont want to remember every little hurt i went through. i want to remember healing from that. i want to remember recovering, being safe. i want to remember my friend from the after. i dont even remember what they looked like. what was their name? where were they from? how long had they been studying magic when we met? had they gone through the things that i went through? who were they?
if youre out there, you probably dont remember me. honestly id be more surprised if you did! you were a noncanon character in source, and my particular canon is so canon divergent that i usually say im inspired by or based off of the source version of me rather than saying that i am him. but if youre out there, and you remember me, and you remember who you were, know that youre the only sourcemate i miss. the only one i have a positive opinion of. or, well, okay; thats not entirely true- i have a positive opinion of the villagers in the town near where our cabin was. they were nice. they just wanted some charms and the occasional spell or potion for something more urgent; nothing that i didnt want to give. so i like them. but anyways, youre the only one i miss, at least. if youre out there i hope youre doing well, friend.
-corrin
(ps i do genuinely hope to see this sourcemate again someday. thanks for taking care of the worlds most traumatized wizard. i really truly wish i remembered more about you)
x
