"Nintendo 64."
idol!juhoon & older sibling!reader
In which: Juhoon comes home from HYBE, exhausted to the core and just wants to bond with his family. He hasn't spoken to any of his family members in awhile. He comes home to the most awful news. You're gone. Forever.
Contains: Angst, no happy ending, bittersweet ISH? read at your own risk. Juhoon loved his sibling a lot. Why would this happen?
taglist for this: @mochamvgz @lullips @nsaqlx @jelliselle
"Juhoon!" James shook awake gently, trying to make the younger member finally open their eyes.
"Hm..?" Juhoon mutters with a small yawn— not sitting up yet. "It's four am, what are you doing up so early?" he questioned with a grumble, hair sticking up in the most random places ever.
"It's Saturday." the dancer muses, as Juhoon basically shoots awake. "Wait isn't that the day—"
"You guys get to go home? Yep." James nodded with a smile
Juhoon pauses, going quiet for a moment. "You gonna do good alone, hyung?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Gives me a lot of breathing room to brainstorm ideas for our comeback." James gave a thumbs up of reassurance. "Besides, you were so excited to go home right? Don't let me ruin it dude."
James was right. Juhoon has been oddly homesick lately. He doesn't understand why, just one day a few months back he suddenly felt a dread in his heart and wanted to go home. He'd hover his hands over photo frames of his family back then.
So when given the chance, he didn't hesitate to pack up for a two day vacation. He left early, only James saw him leave the HYBE building. The ride was long, to Juhoon at least. His earbuds played the songs his older sibling would sing to him before. The days where he could run to a family member when things got too stressful.
He loved his members, his group — his job, but home will always be different to Juhoon.
Especially his older sibling. Y/n— older by around five years. They were Juhoon's inspiration. They were also pretty active around society. They were also a child actor, and athlete. They taught Juhoon basketball too, funny enough.
Y/n always took the blame if Juhoon did something wrong, and would never be selfish with their snacks. The only fatal flaw they really had, was they weren't affectionate. Like.. Y/n was a brick of emotions to Juhoon. But, they love him a lot. Juhoon knows that.
So when Juhoon opened that door to his house discreetly, and greeted his parents, nonchalant as ever— he was confused why they were silent.
"Ah.. Juhoon, 집에 오셨군요." (You're home.) his mother would croak out, smiling softly.
Juhoon didn't question the tone of voice, too bubbly and excited to see his sibling again. "네, 안녕하세요 아빠, 엄마. Y/n은 어디 있어요?" (Yes. Hi dad, hi mom where's Y/n?)
The silence that engulfed the house was odd.
"They're.. not here right now." Juhoon's dad gruffly opted for instead, "you must be hungry. Eat eat, your eomma prepared food earlier."
Juhoon shrugged it off, still unaware of how weird his parents were talking and went off the the familiar kitchen, which.. was cleaner than usual.
Not a single snack of Y/n was there despite the shelves being restocked. Dang, they must've been hungrier than usual is what Juhoon thought at first.
He opened the fridge, seeing a pot of soup. He took it out, and served himself a bowl. It felt weird, tasted weird. It was.. stale. Bitter even.
Then, he heard tears room the living room. Quiet, not dramatic, as if hiding from Juhoon.
The idol steps out the kitchen leaving his bowl, seeing both his parents cry. Even his dad. That never happened. He's never seen his dad cry.
"What's going on..? Why are you all crying?" Juhoon asked slowly, scared to interrupt as he softly walked over and sat beside his mother.
Unable to contain it, his mother suddenly broke down like a dam, like the sun exploded.
"Eomma.. Appa.. what's—"
"We lied."
"You.. lied?" Juhoon was puzzled, what did they lie about?
"They're not just here. They're not even in Korea anymore."
"Oh, did they go out the count—"
"Outside the world. Your sibling is gone, Jju."
His father's words hit Juhoon like a bullet, he doesn't know if it's a prank. His dad never pranks. Maybe it's character development? It had to be? Right?
Y/n didn't show weakness at all. They had everything together, and if they did had problems, Y/n always solves it. What the hell?
"What..?" he whispered under his breath, petrified. Stunned. He did not expect that news.
"You're lying." Juhoon accused sharply, pointing a finger. "Where are they?"
"Juhoon, baby, your sibling is—" his mother tried to say.
"You're lying!" his voice rised, heat seeping through. "Y/n never gives up, it's not like them!"
"You're all fucking lying," he swore out, bubbles of tears forming by his eyes.
His father shuddered— unable to comprehend how his son was reacting. "Juhoon," he tried to muster up.
"YOU'RE ALL LYING!" the idol yelled out, the first two stages of denial showing up. Denial, and anger.
"You're all.." he breathed out— eyes closing shut. Then, he cried. No anger, just pure unbridled guilt. Was it his fault?
Tears bubbled up by the corners of his eyes, mouth trembling as Juhoon whimpered with full despair. His parents neared him, only his mother dared hug him. His father hovered close.
"Why..?" Juhoon choked out, looking up at his mother.
"They hung themselves."
Those words forever haunt the idol, after the vacation day he went back to the dorms sullen, uneasily quiet none of the CORTIS members dared to even speak about it. Instead, Martin texted his father, asking what had happened. When they found out, they begged Juhoon to take a break. But he didn't, and hid the pain from his fans. His light dimmed, but the stage lights didn't make it seem obvious. The CORTIS members felt so much pain for their friend, their member— their brother.
But yet, each time he took a break the guilt and memories haunted him, every time he closes his eyes— he seems Y/n, smiling. Sometimes he'd see them, hovering in the air flying. The visions weren't real, but it felt so real. It scared him, so much.
"Hey Juhoon, you good?
"Yeah, peachy."
He wanted to escape it. He wanted to fly too. So up on the HYBE building rooftop, he tried to soar.
Memento mori.
Broadcasts far and near had Juhoon's name to be shed everywhere, the HYBE building was silent, the CORTIS members grew still. They lost their turtle lover. The world lost an idol quiet yet prominent.
"HOT RIGHT NOW: CORTIS MEMBER KIM JUHOON FOUND DEAD OUTSIDE HYBE BUILDING."
Fans cried, idols mourned. Another idol lost to suicide. But his parents knew better. Juhoon would be happy in the afterlife, because he'd finally be with the sibling he lost. It was selfish, in some way.
But he couldn't wait any longer. Cause somewhere there, he's already hugging Y/n tightly — away from the cameras that has always been stuck to his face, since he was young. And that was all he needed. The flashes didn't reach him here, and even if it did— Y/n would shield him away.
He enjoyed the peace, finally not needing to be present in front of the paparazzi. He enjoyed the breeze of the afterlife. He enjoyed the presence with his sibling.
But the world where people live? Fans are distraught. It was so selfish, Juhoon left everything behind for their sibling.
His life, his fans, his group members, his friends and family. The CORTIS members prayed they were okay, yet cursed for him leaving. It was a bittersweet ending.
Everyday, the world went quieter ever since the iconic child model, kpop idol Kim Juhoon died.
Y/n was never even mentioned to the public, their death insignificant. But Juhoon's? Very significant.
But in the afterlife, that didn't matter.
Still wordless, yet Y/n this time didn't hesitate to say: I love you. Thank you for being here with me. Even if you didn't need too.