Hi Cas,
I love your writing and I'm a big fan of it. But I'm here for a bit of advice.
I'm a bisexual girl who has a huge crush on this girl in my class. She's absolutely wonderful. She's very forward and has a lot of courage and speaks up for LGBTQ+ rights every chance she gets.
At the start of this year, she asked me out after confirming that I was, after all, into girls. But back then, I hadn't gotten to know her and only thought of her as a friend and really didn't know exactly how I felt about her. I was also going through a pretty bad breakup at around the same time. So, I told her I wasn't ready for a relationship.
She didn't take it badly, we're classmates and not as close as we were at the start of the year but we don't avoid each other or make the whole thing feel wierd.
But now, I really do like her. I might even be slightly obsessed. But I don't know what to do about it. If I do ask her out, I know that our relationship will be public because she said in the beginning that she's not ashamed of this sort of thing. There are a lot of homophobic people in my class and I don't know how I feel about coming out to all of them.
Of course, I know that she'll be supportive and will try to keep it secretive if I ask her to but I feel like that might be restricting her. I don't want to do that. I appreciate her courage to accept herself a lot.
I really don't know what to do, Cas. I've talked to a few others about this but I don't have any LGBTQ+ people in my circle. So, can you pls tell me what I can do?
Okay so...
I think if you want to get her attention, you could say something like "Hey, remember that question you asked me at the beginning of they year? Is that still an option?" That way you're not like...all-out asking her out, but you...are? It just feels less scary in my mind, at least.
As far as not wanting to be loud about it, I think you need to talk to her about that if she agrees to go out with you. Be VERY honest about both your fears and your worries for her. And tell her that you completely understand if she doesn't want that. As someone who is out and who wouldn't want to be in a closeted relationship, I also wonder, do you mean you would want to be closeted or just quiet? Because like...not wanting to make out in the middle of the hallway would be cool with me, but lying about a relationship wouldn't. So be clear about that as well, you know?
But yeah I think you just need to be honest and ask her to be honest with you. That's the best way to not get hurt <3
Naming you courage anon


















