#craaaaaack

[ladybuvelle]

runeterrasjester replied to your post ““….” <Did I… drink something strange? There are so many… ah… handsome...”

"Handsome men? Oh, that might just be me and my clone! I always knew I was quite the *handsome* devil around these parts Hahahaha!"

<I’m just going to put this pink ward right here and pray...>

[daxisms]

Jadzia can’t hear any of you HATERS & she’s off to write fanfiction & figure out how to cause a malfunction in the ship’s manifest to make quark & kira room neighbors. 

[thcpuniiishcr-a]

“I heard a loud crash and just knew you were at the center of it.”

“To be fair, these guys asked for it.”

[dangerousandcuddly]

Christmastime in Avengers Tower

Natasha eased the door open to her room cautiously. She’d been away for a week and she had pelted Clint pretty badly with snowballs before she left. Poor guy didn’t even stand a chance. She half expected what came next, but in reality there was nothing that could have prepared her for what she heard. Christmas music was blaring at her at full volume. At least, she was pretty sure it was Christmas music. She let go of the handle and let the door fly open. She stared as the next “song” began to play.

“CLINTON FRANCIS BARTON!!!”

@shieldshawk

[snkception]

Crack Theories Week: War Chief Friday

The mysteries of the SnK world are manifold, but at least one aspect of this world is 100% clear: War Chief Zeke and his role in this story. It’s obvious that Zeke is a frustrated baseball player unwillingly dragged into the world of shifter politics.

All Zeke wants is to play baseball.

This is all he’s ever wanted. All of his flowing locks and washboard abs have been in service of universal baseball stardom.

However, the beginning of the end came when he encountered the First King. His team was unbeatable. Worst of all, the First King had mind mojo that wiped judges’ and audiences’ memories, and made it seem like the First King always won all the things.

The mistake being, of course, not recognizing Zeke’s greatness.

However, though all of this was bad enough, things took a true turn for the worse when Zeke’s father, Grisha, convinced him to inject himself with titan serum to gain extra strength. Zeke, not being interested in much more than his abs and perfect pitches, thought that this was just some doping. That he’d get better at the game and beat the First King’s team once and for all.

But no. With the titan injection came a bizarre beastly appearance and powers he had to learn to control. Random children from a nearby village started calling him a War Chief when he recruited them to play baseball. Zeke tried to deal with it kindly at first, and then he realized that his father–Grisha–had screwed him over in service of his own agenda. Grisha cared about world liberation (or something similar; Zeke hadn’t been listening, so he wasn’t sure). Zeke cared about baseball. But now Grisha had succeeded in subverting him from the straight path filled with baseball-related things and onto a confusing road to… well, Zeke’s not really sure where.

No wonder he sympathizes with his little brother Eren when he meets him:

It is Zeke’s hope that Eren, too, will embrace baseball and not world liberation or whatever uptight stuff Grisha was always on about.

But the truth is, Grisha’s teachings have sunk in too deep. Zeke, while trying to be a carefree dude and focus on his baseball career, has nonetheless started to feel the burden of his responsibilities in this strange shifter world. From time to time, he gets Genuine Feelings about the political situation, and after that happens he always needs to lie down with a cold compress, just to make sure he’s not losing his mind.

But this is the toll the war takes on everyone. Zeke might not know what he’s fighting for or against, and he may have nothing in his mind but dreams of baseball glory. He may think he’s hunting the Coordinate only because the First King used it to defeat him in all their games. But in actual fact the years of wandering in the wilderness, being called a War Chief, have been wearing him down.

In his heart, Zeke knows that the road to baseball greatness is closed to him forever.

But not even titan serum can give him enough strength to face this truth.

[first-division-captain-souji]

No idea what this is suppose to mean, the voice in his head mun just told him to.

[amosanguis]

like sunshine and whiskey

Title: like sunshine and whiskey Warning: Crack Pairing: Sid/Beau/Geno Notes: team dinner, misunderstandings, Beau Knows, Protective Sidney Crosby, fluff & crack, d/s undertones, title from a country song Notes2: title from "Sunshine and Whiskey" by Frankie Ballard

-z-

  "He's dangerous," Goc muttered to Ehrhoff in German, peeking at Beau out of the corner of his eye as he cut his steak.

Christian raised an incredulous eyebrow at Marcel.

"You're ridiculous," Christian said, his tone dismissing.

"He's right," Greiss cut in, poking his head around so he could look across Marcel at Christian, "Flower has already warned me. 'The Sunshine sees many things,' he told me."

"Not sweet Beau--," Christian turned to wave his fork at Beau - and Beau is staring straight at him. Christian's words promptly stall in his throat.

A grin spread across Beau’s face, secretive and mischievous, before he said: "You think I look sweet?"

The three Germans stared. Christian’s mouth fell open.

"Close mouth, Ehrhoff," Geno said and Christian's teeth clicked together audibly.

"If this is going to happen and you're not good to him," Sidney said to Christian, his face dangerously blank but his eyes burning as if Christian were wearing a Flyers sweater, "if you treat him poorly, then I'll fuck you up."

Christian suddenly realized that the situation may have just spiraled out of his control. Sidney Crosby was threatening him and Evgeni Malkin was twirling his knife as if he knew exactly what to do with it. (Which he probably did. Because Russians.)

"It's not what you think," Christian said, scooting back in his chair and holding his hands up.

Geno suddenly slammed his hand on the table and jerked to his feet.

"What wrong with Sunshine?" he demanded. "Sunshine not good enough for you?"

"Is it because he's American?" Sidney cut in quickly. "That’s fucked up, man."

"What?" Ehrhoff could feel his breathing beginning to quicken. "No, no - that's not - I mean--"

"It's okay, guys," Beau said with an exaggerated sigh as he dragged his fork pathetically through what remained of his dinner, "I'll be okay."

"Guess just have to stay with me and Sid until we find you nice center," Geno said, sitting back down and patting Beau’s hand.

"I don't know why you're so eager to ship him off, G," Sid said, tossing his fork to his plate as he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "He's so young - he can stay with us for a while longer."

"Baby winger picking up your bad habits, Sid," Geno said, shaking his head at Sidney over Beau’s hair. "You ruin him for other centers. Spoil."

Sidney sniffed haughtily and shrugged before he reached over and dragged his fingers through Beau's hair.

Beau turned and looked at Sidney - his bright eyes suddenly dark. Sidney smirked and glanced over to Geno.

Christian felt his jaw drop as Geno stumbled over stupid excuses no one believed as to why he, Sid, and Beau suddenly had to go over game tape.

  -z-

  End.

[dentos-wife]

#7 for Alex she needs it

If you don’t mind anon, I’m using the other anons horror question for this. Let’s make it fic form plus another one sent me Alex and 6 so I’ll combine them

Under the cut because this is pure insane crack

“Ghost don’t exist.” The Sommelier waved his finger a mater of factly, “There is not a shred of proof on it.”

“Yeah well…I didn’t think magic frog potions worked either, or there are penguins only I can see but those exist!” Shouma shivered, “So ghosts are definitely possible.”

“The worst thing we could run into here would be your brother personally.“ 

Alex rolled her eyes but laughed at her friend’s comment. "You tell him Jane! And personally I’m not very happy to be stuck here with you either.”

“Ohoho you say that Alex and yet-”

“SHUT UP BROOKE!" 

The group of friends watched as the lights flickered and sounds filled the hall. Jane screamed and latched onto the closest person near her.

"It’s faulty electricity and the sound buildings make when they’re aged like a fine wine” Dento explained, “You have no reason to be scared.”

“You’re lucky this isn’t a horror movie or you’d be the first to go.” Shouma muttered to himself.

“I wish you were the first to go.” Alex countered.

“The tsundere is strong in her tonight.”

—

Alex ran and ran something was going on. Something sinister. She heard a scream and ran to the source, of course everyone had to be separated and of course there was something or someone trying to kill them. They escaped Brooke’s “friend” a couple of times but their luck was running out. The building was haunted. That much was for sure. But that panic scream sounded a lot like.

“JANE!”

She gasped and covered her mouth, this couldn’t be happening, it couldn’t be happening. 

“Oh Alex” Yuuya grinned, “Come to enjoy the show?”

She was struggling clawing, gasping for air and he was glowing, with red eyes and smirking. It’s clear he was possessed. 

“Stop!” Alex cried out, “You’re going to kill her!”

“A..lex…run…” A few final tears fell as she gave her last breath and stopped struggling.

The glow left the possessed boy and he fell to the ground also dead.

They were both…no they couldn’t be…

“You!” She ran toward the other male and tried to get him as he pulled out a knife and attempted to stab her.

“Alex!" 

Brooke ran in and took the stab, "FOR MY WAIFU!” She tackled him to the ground and pushed him out the window huffing. And then she went down in pain.

“Brooke!” Alex ran over to her and caught her, “You’re going to be okay Brooke you can’t die too!”

“Too?” She looked to the side and saw the bodies of her other two friends, “Oh my god!” She laughed to herself, “Figures the non believer was the first to go…” She started to cry eyes glazing over, “And of course the fighter goes down in a blaze of glory.” She grinned, the blood from the stab wound pooling on the floor. “Take care Al…”

“BROOOOOOOOKE!”

—

She was the only one left. But it wasn’t fair why did they have to die! They all had so much to live for. She’d do anything to see the people she loved again. 

“Alex?”

“Shouma?”

“Alex!” He ran over and pulled her into a hug, “I heard screams and I was worried and-”

She didn’t know why she did it or what came over her, grief, hysteria, delusions, or joy to see someone alive but she kissed him.