Rejected Animus-Touched Objects
The following is an excerpt from a scroll found in the Icewing Royal Archives. It consists of a series of correspondence between the animus dragon Firn and a dragon presumed to be her tutor, Cirque, regarding ideas for Firn's gift to the tribe. Comments believed to be from Cirque italicized.
The Gift of Caution: A large icicle enchanted with the following spell: "Enchant this icicle to never melt and to regrow within a day if broken off, and to give any dragon who looks at it for the first time a powerful urge to lick it, as well as to cause any dragon's tongue that makes contact with it to become stuck to it for the next six hours. Educational, perhaps, useful, no. Rejected.
The Gift of Darkness: A black obsidian globe the size of a moon globe with the following spell: "Enchant this globe to make all moon globes produced by the Gift of Light stop working while they are within 500 talon lengths of it." Every time I think you can't possibly come up with a more pointless use of your power, you surprise me. Also, the reason you fell asleep in class is not the moon globes outside your window, it is because you snuck out at night to do moons know what, so stop complaining that you're tired.
The Gift of Hindsight: A brick with the following spell: "Enchant this brick to cause any dragon who is struck with it after it is thrown by another dragon to reflect on the decisions that led to having this brick thrown at them." The wording is too vague and could force the victim to be permanently obsessed with their past actions. Also this is stupid.
The Gift of Decorum: A crystal chandelier with several carved silver horns placed on it, to be installed in the main ballroom of the palace, with the following spell: "Enchant this chandelier to produce a loud sound from the horns arranged on it whenever a dragon utters a swear word within earshot of it." No.
The Gift of Eloquence: A brick with the following spell: "Enchant this brick to hurl itself at the head of any dragon who utters the word 'Moist' within earshot of it and emit the sound of a loud horn." I don't know why you thought combining your previous two bad ideas would make them better.
The Gift of Stealth: A golden talon-ring with the following spell: "Enchant this ring so that when the wearer twists it once upon their talon, the ring becomes invisible, and it becomes visible if twisted again; also enchant the wearer to believe they are invisible to all other dragons while the ring is invisible. We already have a Gift of Stealth and it actually works, as you would know if you paid attention to your studies.
The Gift of Disappearance: A golden talon-ring with the following spell: "Enchant this ring to make the dragon wearing it become invisible if they twist it once upon their talon." Let me guess: the dragon becomes invisible but the ring doesn't?
The Gift of Disappearance (revised): A golden talon-ring with the following spell: "Enchant this ring so that when the wearer twists it once upon their talon, the ring and its wearer become invisible, but the wearer still casts a shadow, has reflections in shiny surfaces, and leaves footprints everywhere they walk." If you're not going to come up with a serious suggestion, at least come up with a different frivolous one.
The Gift of Offense: An archway to be installed at the entrance to the heated dome portion of the Gift of Diplomacy, with the following spell: "Enchant this archway to compel any dragon who walks under it to insult any dragon they meet who is of higher ranking than them for the next day and a night." Stop wasting my time with these, please. Your gift to the tribe will not be decided for many years yet, and it will certainly not be any of the rotting seal guts ideas you keep putting on my desk.
The Gift of Curiosity: A portrait of an adult male icewing reclining in a suggestive pose with a sealskin cushion strategically placed over his pelvic area: the cushion is a flap on a hinge that can be lifted: underneath are the written words "Shame on you!" The portrait shall be installed in the guest bathroom on the second level of the palace next to the talon-washing basins and enchanted with the following spell: "Enchant this portrait to produce a loud horn sound, audible throughout the palace, whenever the flap depicting a cushion is lifted." I am less disturbed by this idea, which is the kind of juvenile rubbish I have come to expect of you, than by the accompanying sketch, for two reasons. 1: you are much too young to be reading the types of scroll this is clearly inspired by, and 2: you gave it an unflattering caricature of Prince Muskox's face.
The Gift of Freedom: A marble sphere to be placed on a pillar in the center of the Royal Hatchery and enchanted with the following spell: "Enchant this sphere to cause any dragonet hatched within the same room as it to become an Animus dragon so Firn doesn't have to use her magic on a gift someone else chooses and can marry whoever she wants. I don't think Animus magic even works like that, and even if it did, an object like this falling into the talons of another tribe would be catastrophic.
The Gift of Temperance: A silver goblet, studded with rubies and sapphires, with the following spell: "Enchant this goblet to always spill its contents all over the user when they try to drink from it if it is filled above the halfway mark." The Queen has officially decreed that from now on you will fall one place in the rankings every time you waste my time with an insincere or frivolous idea for a Gift. I will not be surprised if you find yourself in the 5th Circle before the year is out.
The Gift of Peace: A large shirt of chainmail with holes for two pairs of wings, with the following spell: "Enchant this shirt to automatically change its size to fit any two dragons it is placed on, and to be impossible to remove or damage by its wearers so only a third dragon can take it off of them: in addition, enchant any dragon who is wearing this shirt to be unable to harm the other dragon wearing this shirt by teeth, claws, frost breath, spines, or blunt force." Trust me, if you created this object you and your brother would be the first to wear it.
The Gift of Flight: A necklace of brass chain, with the following spell: Enchant this necklace to allow the dragon who wears it to fly by flapping their wings really hard. I cannot help but imagine how much headway you would make if you devoted half as much energy to your studies as you do to irritating me with pointless suggestions for your gift to the tribe.
The Gift of Flavor: A carved marble bowl with the following spell: "Enchant this bowl to give any food placed within it a faint taste of lingonberry." Surprisingly this is one of your better suggestions, but still not a worthy use of your power.
The Gift of Discernment: A plain copper bracelet enchanted with the following spell: "Enchant this bracelet to, when worn, display the name of the closest Animus-touched item to the wearer and the direction and distance to it measured from the tip of the wearer's nose, engraved as writing on the bracelet." Thank you for finally suggesting something that's at least worthy of consideration. A way of detecting missing Gifts could prove extremely useful.
Hold on. It always detects itself or something else worn by the dragon wearing it, doesn't it? My false hope has been dashed. Let me remind you that you are only three more bad suggestions away from the 4th Circle. Do not try my patience any further.
The Gift of Honesty: A portrait of Queen Diamond to be placed in the Throne Room, enchanted with the following spell: "Enchant this portrait so that the image of Queen Diamond points at anyone who says something willfully untrue within sight of it and laughs loudly at them." I don't know what makes you think such an object being displayed in the throne room would make the business of politics go more smoothly, or that any queen would ever want that in her throne room. Two more suggestions before you are in 4th Circle.
The Gift of Remorse: A necklace with the following spell: "Enchant this necklace so that when worn it becomes invisible to all dragons except the wearer, and when the dragon wearing it is struck by another dragon, or a weapon used by another dragon, a massive and gruesome wound appears on the wearer, appropriate to the means of attack, no matter how how light the blow was. The wound will gush blood in such quantities that it appears to be mortal, and compel the wearer to collapse and writhe in pain. After one hundred heartbeats the wearer shall appear to all onlookers to be dead. Removing the necklace causes the injuries created by it to instantly heal." What in the Moons' name is wrong with you? What purpose would this possibly achieve?
(Reply from Firn): I think it would liven up sparring sessions immensely.
Duly noted: I will inform Prince Muskox of your desire to see more blood in sparring sessions. Perhaps seeing a bit more of your own will improve your attitude.
The Gift of Humility: A whale jawbone enchanted with the following spell "Enchant this jawbone to follow Rime around and smack him over the head every time he gloats about his place in the rankings." If you don't like your brother commenting about you being two whole circles below him, I suggest you behave better. You were given more than adequate warning about your impending fall from the 3rd Circle. Also, rejected as this gives no lasting benefit to the tribe.
The Gift of Generosity: A rock with the following enchantment: "Enchant this rock to give the first dragon to touch it other than me the power to enchant a single object however they see fit since everyone else wants to choose my gift so badly so they might as well enchant it themselves if they're so smart, and to crumble into dust after it is used." Very funny.
Historical Context: Firn of the Icewings. Hatched 2,997 AS. Perished unknown date, presumed 3,002 AS. Daughter to Ptarmigan, cousin to Queen Diamond. Firn was one of the last known Animus dragons in the Icewing tribe. She was seen by contemporaries as intelligent and possessing great potential, but a poor student. She was described by multiple sources as lazy, impatient, and more concerned with jokes than her own standing in the nobility, and her position in the rankings had slid to near the bottom of the 5th Circle by the time of her disappearance. The notes compiled in this scroll were most likely exchanged during the final year of her life. Whether Firn ever suggested an acceptable Gift to devote her life to creating is unknown, but she never contributed any Gift to the tribe or produced any heirs to her power, as she disappeared during a hunting trip a few months before her fifth Hatching Day, shortly after the death of her brother, Rime (2,995 AS - 3,002 AS). In hindsight Firn's loss proved to be catastrophic to the tribe: had she survived, the Icewings' Animus bloodline may not have been lost after the abduction of Prince Arctic by the Nightwings several years later. Her behavior was said to have become increasingly erratic and unstable shortly before her disappearance, and there has been speculation that she may have begun using her powers illicitly, resulting in a change in her personality. However, no Animus-Touched objects that can be attributed to her are known to exist. Speculation that she may have faked her own death is likewise unfounded, and is now considered to be wishful thinking in the years following Queen Diamond's death and Prince Arctic's loss.
