Whumpster Fire

Whump, Hurt/Comfort, and Shitposts about Whump and Hurt/Comfort | Mix of canon characters, fandom OCs, and OCs. I am "Ihc" on AO3 and "IHCFanfic" on Reddit and Deviantart. WARNING: This blog contains PG-13/T rated suggestive content/humor and R/M rated violent content / profanity, I make no guarantee that everything will be tagged. Browse at your own risk / discretion. Kink blogs DNI please.

[mephistopheles]

i bring a sort of “you should maybe interrogate your so-called ‘preferences’ to make sure they’re not literal textbook examples of severe unconscious bias” vibe that my woke gay friends dont really like

[mephistopheles]

what this post does NOT mean

go out and fuck someone you aren’t attracted to because a stranger on tumblr said to

go out and date someone you aren’t attracted to because a stranger on tumblr said to

You’re Not Allowed To Be Gay Anymore

what this post DOES mean

if you just ‘prefer’ to avoid majority black areas of your city

if you just ‘prefer’ to read, write, think, and talk about men

if you just ‘prefer’ to socialize with people you (perceive as) your assigned birth sex

if you just ‘prefer’ to exclusively watch white-directed movies, read white-written books, listen to white-authored music

if you just unconsciously perceive men as more authoritative/competent and ‘prefer’ to be spoken to by them

this is a post about acknowledging unconscious bias. it is not a post about dating. please stop coming into my inbox and accusing me of rape apologism and telling me to kill myself. thank you

[whumpster-fire]

I mean. I'm sorry about your inbox and people should not be sending threats or suicide baiting over it, but I think the reason people think your post is about dating / sex is not because there is a mass movement of people willfully misinterpreting you but because you used the word "preferences" in scare quotes and then immediately, in the same sentence, singled out a sexual orientation. I have also seen plenty of posts with near-identical phrasing that were in fact about sex/dating. It's not bad faith interpretation I don't know how anyone is supposed to distinguish this post from all the other posts that do mean it that way.

...but the real blame for this goes to Tumblr.com for making it so edits to posts aren't visible on reblog chains made before the edit. If they're worried about bad faith edits to make people look like they're misinterpreting they could at least have a big warning text applied to all instances that like "THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED SINCE IT WAS REBLOGGED (SEE MOST RECENT VERSION)" but making it impossible to correct shit like this is just horrible design.

[lydiabrbpooping]

[lydiabrbpooping]

this reply made me laugh harder than any reply I think I've ever gotten

[blogfeind]

[insectling]

a girl and her watermelon piece

[insectling]

oh i'm happy that people enjoyed looking at this animal with me.. it's fun to be nice to an animal and with bugs it's often more okay to do than with other animals since it's unlikely you will socialize them to humans to their detriment.

Watermelon piece is a good offering towards any adult wasp, but being a mud dauber she is a great wasp to observe, since they are not very aggressive and their sting is not too bad. I waited until she was a little more hydrated and started grooming herself to remove her from the house, since she was visibly quite dusty i knew it would be the next thing she would want to do.

a really funny behavior was that although she was completely content to be observed by humans, she saw an ant on the counter and got visibly upset, which is understandable since an ant wants to eat a weak bug a lot more than humans do. I removed the ant to keep her from getting too stressed out. she was so mad about the ant and even though it makes sense i thought it was pretty funny since wasps can tell who humans are. she knew we were hanging out and that part was fine, but an ant is just too much!! eventually i put her and her fruit outside.

[westformiles]

@onenicebugperday

[animatedamerican]

So, this post made me wheeze-cackle for several minutes, which meant I had to share it around. And one of the responses I got on the discord server where I shared it was: honestly I can't decide if Grace is the right kind of nerd to have been on tumblr.

And after a few seconds of trying to decide that myself, there came another response in the conversation: I think at least he was definitely the kind of teacher that his students loved to show internet crap to.

And I had a glorious vision.

Ryland Grace is on tumblr. He's been on tumblr since the days when you could edit other people's posts. And he has been meticulously careful to make sure none of his students ever suspect it for a second -- which means he never posts anything about his work, or talks in class about anything that's crossed his dash unless he can find a plausible source somewhere else. But yes, of course, every so often his students want to share a meme or a video or a funny post with him ("wait till after class"), and he's very appreciative and never gives away if he's seen it before.

In one of his last video messages to Earth, Grace says a heartfelt and genuinely moving goodbye to his students. He ends with "Best of luck, kids. And always remember ..."

(Nobody ever suspected he had that kind of wicked grin in him.)

"... I like your shoelaces."

Tumblr EXPLODES.

[pinkegodeath]

we are witnessing the gentrification of the term "tumblr sexyman" in real time and it is extremely disappointing. like no, live-action white boy #265 played by ryan gosling isn't a tumblr sexyman. i can't believe i have to say this but if it wouldn't get you shoved into a locker it probably isn't a sexyman

[whumpster-fire]

Still maintain that they should have put Rocky in the poll instead of Grace.

[rockets]

________

You will be remembered as a hero. ________

For those wondering about the fox. Grace has a subtle motif with this animal throughout the movie, but especially this shot where they pack this toy fox with his belongings on the Hail Mary. The pose of it looked a little haunting to me, thus prompting this illustration. __________ (Small/large prints are also available on my etsy ❤️)

[whumpster-fire]

Thought this was a Daemon AU until I scrolled down and man actually that would really elevate the symbolism of the violation being committed. Grace's daemon lying sprawled on top of him, in a position that would require someone to physically pick her up and put her there, while everyone else's are either hiding in their clothing or are out of frame because they're actively avoiding standing next to their humans in this moment out of guilt.

...actually that'd be a really interesting AU because (a) Grace having to explain to Rocky why there's a second apparent organism next to him that's physically tethered to his spacesuit that seems vaguely similar but to Rocky's sonar the second alien's body does not match Grace's in a way that seems almost like an imitation of the structure of Grace's body. There is breathing and a heartbeat and a rigid internal skeleton but a lot of the noisy internal organs that Grace has are missing. And Grace is like "Oh, that's the corporeal form of my soul. She's technically mostly made of dark matter but is shaped like a completely different species from my planet. Also she has her own mind and personality even though we're technically one being and we have to stay within about 10 meters of each other at all times. (b) wait imagine if in the excessive centrifugal force scene Grace passes out because the seat breaking causes his daemon to slide to the opposite side of the cabin they're pulled so far apart they pass out from the pain, (c) Grace never really got around to explaining the touch taboo because Rocky physically can't touch them anyway due to incompatible atmospheres. But then Rocky has to drag his daemon closer to him so they'll wake up / drag both of them to Armando.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

FIRST TRUE COLOR PHOTO OF AN ATOMIC NUCLEUS!

FIJMU News 10-19-21

Today, the world's most powerful microscope has photographed in real color the core of a single atom. The nucleus of an atom is like the delicious yolk of a hard boiled quantum egg, containing protons and neutrons (red) as held together by gluons (tan filaments). All known substances are made of atoms with nuclei like the one seen above.

The atom used was a Thulium atom because of its highly photogenic traits, bright coloration, and nice atomic number. According to microscopy professor Minnie Lewker, "Atoms have been photographed before but never in real color. They usually look almost like waves of light and dark instead of real, tangible objects as they are."

The same microscope team was also able to take the first known photograph of an electron:

[afriendofblahaj]

There is (somehow) an xkcd for that

[facts-i-just-made-up]

HOW

[cerastes]

Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.

[whumpster-fire]

what the fuck is dark academia anyway. I keep hearing this term but I have no idea what it actually is. Is this something related to occult research and vampires and stuff? I am not looking this up for comedic purposes.

[whumpster-fire]

The key to fighting a mime is that simply refusing to acknowledge the existence of the invisible objects will not protect you from them. You have to pay attention to everything the enemy is doing and keep track of what invisible things there are and where they are, and if possible turn them back against their master. I have five bloodstained and in one case moderately charred berets on my trophy shelf so I think I am a credible source on this subject.

The drawback is not what you might expect: he who fights mimes need not take care that he does not himself become a mime. As long as you don't shut the fuck up in battle, you are safe from this hazard, even in the event of heavy mimeoleum exposure. However, there is a very real risk of becoming a clown.

[macabro]

I don't understand why "Adrian doesn't like Grace at first" is as popular as it is on fanfics.

Imagine for a second you are Adrian surname The Eridian. Your spouse has been missing and presumed dead for around a decade, and suddenly one day an alien spaceship comes into orbit. And you cheer "Yay alien species have realized we have the same problem and have come to either give us a solution or join or efforts, too bad my mate is still gone."

Except he is not actually gone, because the eridian equivalent of a carebear decided to save them. And he doesn't want anything in return, in fact he is well aware that he might die A PAINFUL SLOW DEATH, shortly after fighting just to get the love of your life back to you. But it's ok :) because Rocky (yes he gave them a silly name) is my best friend! Oh- Are you ok-

[animentality]

[alfgifu]

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

[whumpster-fire]

guy talking to his cats who will just lie sprawled out in the middle of the walkway

[whumpster-fire]

Rereading Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane because that one silly poll reminded me of how much Twitchtip deserved better.

Oh my god I forgot how completely sick of everyone she is for the whole first half of the book. Justifiably. Ripred voluntold her to go on this mission, decided they should just waltz into Regalia A DAY EARLY instead of meeting the escort, immediately gets them attacked, which Ripred thinks is hilarious, and then. He tries to blame this on Twitchtip being eager to see Regalia. While Twitchtip is literally shoving her nose in the dirt and trying to use it as an air filter because she's so overwhelmed by this fucking city, which she has to spend an EXTRA DAY in because of Ripred and he's implying she wanted this. I love Ripred but he is so fucking insufferable and I really with The Underland Chronicles had a higher age rating so we could see Twitchtip curse him out.

Also Ripred fucking WARNED Vikus and Solovet that they were starving the rats to the point of desperation. He fucking warned them.

But anyway the whole boat ride is Twitchtip being near-catatonic and speaking primarily to try to get everyone to shut the fuck up because she can only handle one sense being overwhelmed at once. So relatable.

I just reached the whirlpool incident, and the conversation afterward, and... Gregor. You are so dense. Trying to cover for Twitchtip and give her an out for curling up against him is like, it wasn't a bad decision, his heart is in the right place, but like... you are aware of how badly that poor rat needs a hug. Please just tell her you don't actually mind, you were just surprised. Or come up with some half baked excuse. You literally both got at least some amount of hypothermia earlier today the body heat excuse is right there. The natural end point of this scene is that several hours later someone else wakes up and notices that they are curled up in a nest of blankets together to the point where there is zero chance of anyone buying that it was an accident, and Gregor immediately claims she was shivering and Howard said to keep her warm, and this is technically not wrong.

It occurs to me that Twitchtip said she was on her own for three or four years, but she never actually said how old she was when she was kicked out. Given how fast rats grow, what are the odds that she's only, like, five or six?

[whumpster-fire]

Update: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THE FUCKING MITES. UGGGHHHH

Holy shit that scene is disturbing.

[whumpster-fire]

Finished the book. Okay so I need an emotional support Twitchtip Lives AU but if Gregor and Ares had just taken her with them they could have just, like, handed her back to Ripred and Co, and it would have made parts of the situation with Pearlpelt a little too easy because, like, they could just ask her if she knew he was a baby. Twitchtip being captured by the gnawers and tortured is excellent angst fuel not only for her but for Gregor, because Gregor has seen what that did to his dad.

But wait I have an idea, what if once her nose healed and her sense of smell was functional again, the rats forced her to use her abilities to help them? And at some point they drag her along on a mission and she smells that Gregor and Ares are nearby and tries to sabotage her captors to save them and is nearly executed for it before they get her out of there? And then she has to suffer through weeks of medical treatment in Regalia.

[whumpster-fire]

Oh my god and the very next thing that happens a few months later is the goddamn plague. The rats do not have effective medicines, they do not have flea powder, they don't have hazmat suits, and they do not have a microbiology lab that can look at blood samples under a microscope. Having a prisoner who can detect and locate infected rats from a distance would be incredibly convenient to the faction of Gorger loyalists who captured her. I bet her captors would've had her enforcing quarantines and pointing out recently-infected asymptomatic patients... who were then summarily killed in horrific ways to try to take out the fleas without letting them get close to anyone.

[glasspalacesstoneshop]

“Anti-genocide” my ass

[glasspalacesstoneshop]

The thing is, the phrase I repeatedly heard was “never again meant never again for everyone” and we can say that while it’s fucked up to appropriate an explicitly Jewish phrase for others, it’s EXTREMELY fucked up to say “never again for everybody” and then EXCLUDE JEWS.

[shaftking]

Y’all have got to stop with these ginormous fucking sugary syrup beverages with a splash of espresso. Why are you drinking that shit every morning like it’s not just liquid cake you’re chugging every morning. That is not coffee. Go get a coffee machine and add a little cream and honey you’ll be doing yourself a favor. Good lord.

[blurrymango]

Well. Unlike coffee, those super sugary drinks actually taste good.

[whumpster-fire]

Controversial opinion but when I see people drinking those sugary syrup "coffee" based drinks I think about how much money I have saved over the course of my life by realizing that if I like sugary drinks and dislike coffee then there are sugary caffeinated beverages that are not coffee based, and accepting that my true destiny is becoming a Mtn Dew (TM) flavor connoisseur.

[brazenautomaton]

I didn't used to have to question the cat videos, man :(

Yeah you did?

[whumpster-fire]

"I didn't used to have to question the cat videos"

play him off, Keyboard Cat.

(the joke explained: Keyboard Cat is faked with good old practical effects of: the owner's hands are hidden under the shirt using his cat as a puppet, the cat is not actually playing the piano. Tons of people believed the cat was actually playing it. This video was made in 1983, uploaded to YouTube in 2007, went viral in like 2009)

(not to mention the epidemic of fake animal rescue videos with people abusing animals by putting them in dangerous or distressing situations for clicks)

[whumpster-fire]

Rereading Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane because that one silly poll reminded me of how much Twitchtip deserved better.

Oh my god I forgot how completely sick of everyone she is for the whole first half of the book. Justifiably. Ripred voluntold her to go on this mission, decided they should just waltz into Regalia A DAY EARLY instead of meeting the escort, immediately gets them attacked, which Ripred thinks is hilarious, and then. He tries to blame this on Twitchtip being eager to see Regalia. While Twitchtip is literally shoving her nose in the dirt and trying to use it as an air filter because she's so overwhelmed by this fucking city, which she has to spend an EXTRA DAY in because of Ripred and he's implying she wanted this. I love Ripred but he is so fucking insufferable and I really with The Underland Chronicles had a higher age rating so we could see Twitchtip curse him out.

Also Ripred fucking WARNED Vikus and Solovet that they were starving the rats to the point of desperation. He fucking warned them.

But anyway the whole boat ride is Twitchtip being near-catatonic and speaking primarily to try to get everyone to shut the fuck up because she can only handle one sense being overwhelmed at once. So relatable.

I just reached the whirlpool incident, and the conversation afterward, and... Gregor. You are so dense. Trying to cover for Twitchtip and give her an out for curling up against him is like, it wasn't a bad decision, his heart is in the right place, but like... you are aware of how badly that poor rat needs a hug. Please just tell her you don't actually mind, you were just surprised. Or come up with some half baked excuse. You literally both got at least some amount of hypothermia earlier today the body heat excuse is right there. The natural end point of this scene is that several hours later someone else wakes up and notices that they are curled up in a nest of blankets together to the point where there is zero chance of anyone buying that it was an accident, and Gregor immediately claims she was shivering and Howard said to keep her warm, and this is technically not wrong.

It occurs to me that Twitchtip said she was on her own for three or four years, but she never actually said how old she was when she was kicked out. Given how fast rats grow, what are the odds that she's only, like, five or six?

[whumpster-fire]

Update: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THE FUCKING MITES. UGGGHHHH

Holy shit that scene is disturbing.

[whumpster-fire]

Finished the book. Okay so I need an emotional support Twitchtip Lives AU but if Gregor and Ares had just taken her with them they could have just, like, handed her back to Ripred and Co, and it would have made parts of the situation with Pearlpelt a little too easy because, like, they could just ask her if she knew he was a baby. Twitchtip being captured by the gnawers and tortured is excellent angst fuel not only for her but for Gregor, because Gregor has seen what that did to his dad.

But wait I have an idea, what if once her nose healed and her sense of smell was functional again, the rats forced her to use her abilities to help them? And at some point they drag her along on a mission and she smells that Gregor and Ares are nearby and tries to sabotage her captors to save them and is nearly executed for it before they get her out of there? And then she has to suffer through weeks of medical treatment in Regalia.