I don’t think I’ll be able to get over the fact that Grace asked if he could think about it two different times. And both times he meant different things and received different answers.
The first time with Stratt, he didn’t want to leave Earth because he was scared. He was a coward. And Stratt gave him a limited amount of time. Three hours. That’s it. And she didn’t give him a choice when those three hours were up.
The second time with Rocky, he didn’t want to leave Erid not because he was scared, but because he simply didn’t want to leave behind Rocky and the Eridians. And Rocky told him to think about it a long time because Rocky didn’t want him to leave.
There’s something in there about not wanting to go because you’re scared of leaving, and something in there about not wanting to go because you’ve found home.
There’s something in there about finding people who push you outside your safe zone, even if it’s painful or hard, even if it means you’ll never return, and something in there about finding people who give you a reason to stay.
i never thought a horror movie would shatter me the way Leviticus (2026) did
the sixth month of the year is odd. every time it comes around the hole in my chest sinks and tears, a pain so debilitating it distracts me from every other thing in my life.
often times, that pride i yearn to freely express is overshadowed by an unshakeable melancholy and an acute sense of guilt, which is why i think this film spoke to me in the way it did.
(meaning i sobbed the entire time...like...the entire movie...)
every single character in this film felt extremely important to me, each a voice i had heard in my own life:
the pastoral family's misplaced grief and resentment, their failure to understand hunter even after he passed, the way they clung onto the blissful ignorance their religion offered: God as a healer, God as an avenger, God as a panacea.
arlene's passive (unquestioning, vulnerable) belief in God, like the pastoral family's belief, led her to ignore her son's needs time and time again: turning a cold shoulder, dismissing his feelings as childish, stupid, without real meaning, sending him to be "exorcised" without thinking about it twice, simply watching on as he struggled and screamed for her to come help him. she chooses to live her life in silence after the death of naim's father, complacent and apathetic.
naim and arlene exist as interesting opposites. naim, a high school boy with big feelings and a hunger to be seen and understood while heavily constricted in a town with eyes everywhere, silently being eaten alive by guilt. and arlene, a grieving mother who wants to live the rest of her years in silence, unacknolwedging of naim and life before her husband's passing, shielding herself in the church and a God that works in that same silence.
it's why we see their relationship develop in the way we do. the gap between them, already tangible at the very beginning, only widens and widens until they break apart by the time the film closes. arlene's shouts for naim don't drag on for too long, don't cause her voice to break, and don't fade into desperation or tears. we see her walk around the gas station, looking, but we don't see her run--there's a sense of urgency that's lacking, likely springing from her absent role as a mother.
in the film, a lot of this absence on her end seems to spring from her adherence to religion and her ambivalent understanding of her son's queerness.
and it's a painful reality for those of us who have been outed and have been raised in the church. those emotionless, unprompted, and beating-around-the-bush-afraid-to-call-it-what-it-is comments we receive from our parents after they find out, the underlying defeat and exhaustion you hear when they make comments about getting more involved in the church and to pray more. things you feel like they don't even believe in, but you can tell they're struggling, that their faith and ego's have been bruised.
and like naim when he finds ryan and hunter out, you cling onto that faith out of spite, consumed by anger, grief and guilt. it's quite dangerous.
Leviticus (2026) is about the dangers of homophobia, the dangers of guilt and conversion therapy, of the church ostracizing queer folks. The dangers, yes, of those external forces and what they do to queer folk, but most importantly, what it causes in queer folk.
and i think this is what the entity represents.
the only reason this entity is introduced is because of the guilt, anger and fear that consumes naim--one he's learned from the church. when he sees ryan and hunter, he's filled with such jealousy and disappointment that he decides that the best thing to do is to out them.
i'm not so sure what he wanted to accomplish with it though.
was it just anger? or did he really want them to be "fixed" to rid himself of the anger it caused? to make himself feel more "clean"? "less sinful"? like he was doing something "right"? something Christian? something his mom would be proud of?
either way, i really appreciated how someone "holy" summoned something that represents the opposite of what an exorcism really is for to torment these boys. not only does it position these practices as flawed and incorrect, but it positions the people doing and believing in them as that too.
when i was outed, i clung onto the church with all my might. i picked up a bible again, tried to learn how to pray again, started taking bible study seriously, brought a cross necklace that only came off my neck when i'd shower, stopped sharing my pronouns, started using my legal name again, and shrunk myself to please my parents.
but my queerness never "stopped."
when you're queer, hiding who you are is excruciating, life-threatening, and extremely dehumanizing. we see this through naim and ryan's struggle against it, as well as hunter's death.
i no longer call myself a christian, nor do i try so hard to be one. i'm not sure i believe in God. i believe in something, somewhere. and maybe it's in the shape of God or man. but i no longer want to cling onto something that only brings me harm, though it will still have a presence in my life through my parents, family, and memories that i will never be able to forget.
i think that's what naim and ryan's departure symbolizes too. naim could not kill it. it never truly leaves, just as jessica said. and it watches naim as he leaves with ryan pressed into his side. and while his breath momentarily hitches in his throat, he faces forward again, choosing instead to lean onto ryan's shoulder. everything he could ever need right there with him. love, attention, understanding, strength, protection.
after all, it only ever comes for you when you're vulnerable. it knows that there is strength in community and love.
"If you are not to award me love, then I will indulge in rage."
I was very surprised to find that this made me cry for about an hour and a half of its run time, as soon as the creature was brought to life onwards.
"Why would you be afraid of me? I am not going to hurt you, I made you."
A few minor/silly things I enjoyed:
The Jesus-like framing of the creature being animated, including the 'crown of thorns'-esque bolts (along with the religious imagery of Victor's angel)
The fact that Victor and creature's first meeting was while they were both half naked (reminded me of the more queer interpretations of the story, so 'hey I'm meeting my beautiful Perfect Man bf in bed!' was rlly funny to me)
The creature's big brown eyes, I LOVE HIMMMM
The little mice :( so sweet, Cinderstein
THE CREATURE HAVING TO PET HIS OWN HEAD?! I was crying already but this made me bawl harder for ten minutes</3
LONG HAIR CREATURE!! YES!!
I don't normally post my reviews on tumblr, so look at my letterboxd for more<3
