Double Dog Dare You
rev!edd/oc rp with just-kuri
Edd and Jimmy sat atop the hood of Jonny’s car while Jonny lit up a cigarette on the asphalt of the diner’s parking lot. The diner was some checkered-floor and red boothed fifties place that proudly declared their years a service since before WW2. Apparently they’ve been “Curing Hangovers since 1941″ or so said the back of the waitress’s shirt as she turned around on her roller blades after she’d delivered Jimmy’s strawberry milkshake with way too much whipped cream as ordered.
Edd curled his lips at the obnoxious way Jimmy licked at the whip cream from his lip after hed taken a sip of the drink, then batted away a plume of smoke from Jonny’s cigarette. “Look, you intolerable piss ant, blow your smoke the other way or I’ll drown you next swim practice.”
Jonny snickered and flicked his ashes onto the asphalt. “Meet me in the fucking pool, Vincent,” he replied then blew his smoke out deliberately up towards Edd who swatted at it then scooted back on the hood, accidentally hitting Jimmy in the back with his knee.
“Hey! Hey, guys, cmon! You almost got whipped cream in my hair,” he complained, only getting a snicker and a clicked tongue in response.
“Your hair already looks like someone sprayed a whole can of the shit on your scalp, Jim, so quit complaining,” Jonny piped in, burying the butt of his cigarette out on his tire.
“Probably contains the same amount of oil too,” Edd added, looking distastefully at the way a dollop of cream threatened to splatter on Jimmy’s pants.
“Hey! Shut it! I’m not taking hair advice from someone who’s bald at seventeen or one who hides their rat’s nest under a hideous beanie,” Jimmy snapped, swiping up the threatening pile of cream with his index finger and piling it into his mouth. Edd nearly gagged.
“Whatever,” Jonny spat, tapping another cigarette out. Edd laid back on the windshield, thankfully away from any smoke from Jonny’s cigarette and even more thankful that he didn’t have to watch Jimmy snort disgustingly sugary white discharge.
“Ay! Goddamn, lookit that!” Jonny sang after a moment, making Edd sit up with a sigh and Jonny lower his cup from his face. They all looked to where Jonny pointed out a girl with red sneakers, cutting across the parking lot. “Ain’t that a girl from school?”
Edd shrugged while Jimmy hummed. “Only ever noticed her for her hair,” Jimmy chimed in, stirring his milkshake with his straw. “She looks like she does box dyes whenever she dyes it, but the colors do come out nicely. Especially for such thick hair.”
“Jerk off to her hair some other time,” Jonny said, earning an impressive glare from Jimmy who managed to look deadly while licking strawberry milkshake off his upper lip. Jonny ignored him. “Edd, I dare you to ask her out.”
Edd’s eyes bugged out. “What?” he muttered. “Why?”
Jonny and Jimmy turned around to look at him. Jonny pointed at him, his cigarette hanging between his two fingers, and when he failed to come up with a response, he waved his hand at Jimmy. “Jimmy explain.”
Jimmy sighed. “Because you’re the least socially viable and it’s gonna be hilarious watching you squirm. And we both know she won’t go for bald guys who have cheese stains on their underwear.” He bottomed up his styrofoam cup and tapped on it to get the last of his drink’s worth while he ignored Jonny’s squawk of protest.
“And the second Jimmy’s left alone with her hair, she’s gonna run away screaming about how he put his dick in it,” Jonny pointedly said, sucking on his cigarette with a snobbish cock of his hip.
“Eat a dick.”
“You first.”
Edd rolled his eyes and scooted back onto the windshield. “I’ve better things to do than go on dates.”
“Ohh, like sit around dusting the handle of your microscopes?” Jonny scoffed. “C’mon, man.” He flicked his cigarette.
“I’m not apologizing for my cleanliness, though you should apologize for that putrid stench emitting from anything you own.” Edd kicked his foot in time with the music blaring from the outdoor speakers. Even if The Beatles were a sixties band, he guessed the staff was too busy living off the same amount of pay from back then in modern day to really care.
“Oh, fuck off.” Jonny stamped his foot and puffed at his cigarette again, looking inside the big glass windows of the diner. “If you do it, I’ll ask out Lee.”
Edd and Jimmy both fell onto the tarmac laughing hard enough to bust a lung.
“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Edd heaved after he’d regained his breath.
“Shit, I’d actually fuck someone’s hair if he really did,” Jimmy added, standing up and brushing off his pants with another breathy snort.
Edd stood up beside Jonny who was an impressive shade of red all over while he stayed suspiciously quiet and sucked on his cigarette. Edd’s brow furrowed and Jonny side glanced him as he blew out his smoke and tapped his foot. “What?” Jonny prompted, flicking his ash out onto his car hood.
Edd shook his head and Jimmy squinted at them both but said nothing. “I’ll go ask her out then,” Edd said and both Jonny’s and Jimmy’s eyes widened.
“You’re shitting me now, Vincent,” Jonny muttered, going back to his normal color.
Edd shoved his shoulder with a scoff. “Don’t be skeptical, you insipid twat. I said I’m doing it.”
Jonny’s eyebrows raised high as he stepped backwards from the shove Edd gave him. Then he smiled, raising his cigarette to his lips. “Shit,” he muttered, sucking on the stick. “Alright, le’s see what you got, Vincent.”
Edd grinned and started walking off towards the diner doors.
“You’re buying my lunch for a month if you bail, you fucker!” Jonny shouted as he settled on the hood of his car.
Edd turned around and started walking backwards, taking a hand from his jacket pocket to flip him off with a grin. “You’re buying me a new microscope if I win!” he shouted back before turning around just in time to open the door and walk in.
Edd looked around the diner near the doorway for a second, brow furrowed and he cursed under his breath when he realized he didn’t know what the girl’s face looked like. He kept looking around, but there were dozens of high school kids from around the area, a couple of them familiar.
He decided to roam the aisles of tables, slowly, doing his best to look like he was going to the empty tables in the back as he also tried his best to discreetly look under the booths for red fucking sneakers. He didn’t bother smiling at the people who gave him odd looks, just staring until he won and they looked away. When he still hadn’t found those goddamned red sneakers, he bounced on his heals with his hands in his pockets, cursing lightly as he gave a quick once over to the entire diner from the back.
