Liberosis: The desire to care less about things. ( fuck you nine have some feels back )
Caring is not something he can do with ease, for he had stopped caring about his own life a long time ago. He had at one point stopped caring about everything due to being unable to dare bring himself to let go of the feelings that floated about in his mind and being. It was easier for him during his time of being apathetic toward the world plus those who wandered about this place alive. They lived free while he stayed in one place without showing feelings and his heart locked up tight enough to be called a vault. Some would ask why, he wouldn’t reply since they didn’t need to know his reasons. They couldn’t understand why a child so young had held in everything thinking he was meant and made to be alone. The belief still stuck with him up until this point. Would it have been better had he stayed holding apathy? Maybe this being thrust down upon his shoulders and more may not have happened while the others could live normal lives had he not changed. It wouldn’t have changed. No... it wouldn’t have changed at all. He knew that and yet wondered if things would be better off having him gone while the others got to be able to be free while he stayed sealed off and inside crying out in pain. It wouldn’t heal, not with the path he had been taking prior to meeting his companions and he realized that as well. Not only would he not be able to heal but they couldn’t have healed either. Yukari, Junpei, Mitsuru, the list goes on all because he had hand to a degree in their healing with just being around. But that’s just the thing, he wasn’t strong like they are, he isn’t even as strong as his sister who had shown signs of having had stopped forcing herself to smile. He’s weak. He’s not strong, he’s not even a fighter is what part of his brain is screaming at him at this point. He isn’t a fighter, SO WHY MUST IT BE HIM! Why did it have to be them! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY WHEN HE DID NOTHING TO EARN IT! The fool only wanted to sleep this away but that cannot be changed or wished far off elsewhere since this is not a dream. It’s reality. It’s real and he has to do as Ryoji said, fight him, stop the world from ending even as this boy wanted to scream about the injustice of it all. THIS ISN’T RIGHT. Where’s the chance to redo this, WHERE’S THE CHANCE TO STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING IN ANOTHER FASHION THAT WON’T COST ALL OF THEIR LIVES! Nowhere to be found since life didn’t have a redo button with anxiety and more settling in. As hard as it is, he had to live with this as being not only his choice but their choice. If they wanted to let go of their worlds being a constant battleground then they had to do this. If they didn’t? It would only mean they’ve doomed the world by not bothering to see both red and blue fools needed to let go of their pain to set themselves upon the path of healing. Too bad he wanted to be again apathetic and stop caring about it all. He couldn’t bring himself to go back that way much to that part of him’s dismay for once. Because they had been the cause of his change with the way they saw he needed help. Maybe it won’t be that bad to fight for once when it comes to the people he met and the friends he made.











