Waging a War Over a Heart can be Pointless. Let’s Love her Together: Polyamory
“Hey Yasha,” Jester spoke up to her barbarian friend, “what do you think of Beau?”
It was a question that caught the barbarian off guard, forcing her to stop sharpening her sword and look at Jester. They were the only two in the room, it was their first night back in Zadash after a long mission, most of them were out of spells for the day and resting, Beau was downstairs drinking with a few impressionable young women who seemed very interested in the monk.
Yasha thought a lot about Beau and thought a lot of things about Beau. It had been three years since they started traveling together, the Mighty Nein had grown closer and more powerful as the years went on. They were something of a famous or infamous name in the Empire and the Menagerie Coast depending on who you asked. They had all changed, grown in some ways despite being the same in just as many.
Fjord had learned that he didn’t have to pretend to be Vandren or what he thought was a good leader, he learned they would love him all the same. Caduceus learned about the world that was outside his little grove and that it was okay. Caleb learned that he wasn’t the monster he saw himself out to be, and that finding redemption was far more healthy than trying to change what couldn’t be changed. Nott had learned to not hate herself for who or what she was, she had still taken Caleb’s offer to change her into a halfling when he offered the chance to her, but that was because she didn’t feel right as a goblin, not because she hated them. Molly had changed a lot in some ways, at least to her, coming back from the grave a second time would do that to a person and when he came back as Mollymauk he cried tears of joy.
Jester had changed quite a bit as well, she was still happy and excited, full of joy and mischief, but experienced had tempered that, even though it had never, could never snuffed it out. She had also grown quite beautiful, she was always pretty but now she looked like a blue, more muscular version of her mother. The biggest change was that she stopped chasing fairy tales, stopped chasing after men because they were handsome and nice and there. Beau had asked her about that once, Jester told her that listening to fairy tales was something for little girls, now that she’s a woman she’s going to be creating legends.
Oh how things had changed for Yasha, her love for Zuala was still just as strong, stronger than ever actually, but she learned that she didn’t need to torture herself over her loss. She celebrated Zuala, she celebrated the life and love her wife had brought to her life instead of mourning Zuala’s loss and hating her own weakness. It had taken a visit to Zuala’s grave and talking with her spirit to make her realize that she didn't have to sacrifice her own life and happiness just because she was gone.
Which lead her to Beauregard. Beau had possibly changed the most without losing who she was back when they met in Trostenwald. She was still a young woman filled with fire, that had caught Yasha’s eye so long ago, back then she had been mourning Zuala and felt ashamed that her eye had strayed for even a moment. Beau was still full of fire, but it was more directed now, she had grown up to be a brilliant woman and a stalwart friend. Recently Yasha had caught herself staring at the monk, just randomly, when she was
“Beauregard? I think she is very strong and a good fighter,” Yasha said trying to be half truthful, she did but that wasn’t the only thing or things Yasha thought about Beau.
“Well yeah, she’s always been that, but is there anything else,” Jester said in that voice that she thought she was being sneaky when she really wasn’t at all.
“Beau is a dear friend who has stood by my side for years Jester,” Yasha said flatly, “I think quite a great many things about her, if you would like to ask for something more specific than perhaps I can answer, but you need to come out with it.” She adored Jester, but even with all her growth, Yasha was still terrible at reading social cues, she wanted people to be blunt when speaking to her to make things less confusing.
“Well I’m just wondering if you find Beau pretty,” Jester asked quietly, lost in her own thoughts.
“Yes Jester,” Yasha admitted, “I think Beau is pretty. She’s always been quite nice to look at,” she admitted stiffly. Despite being small Beau had a nice amount of muscle on her, especially her arms and legs, Yasha had caught herself staring a bit too long when Beau did her morning workout.
“I mean yeah, that’s true,” Jester admitted, “she has always been beautiful,” she said zoning out as she remembered something. “Her face has always been nice to look at even though her nose has been broken a few times. Her hair’s always been really pretty, though I think I like it better when she wears it down now that it’s gotten so long. And her butt is fantastic, much nicer than any of my mother’s clients I can tell you that much, the men and the women.” And now Yasha felt her face starting to heart up, Beau did have a nice butt, it tended to draw the eye when she did her flips and bends. Weird as it was to talk about. “But…, is it just me or does she seem, more…, yano, lately,” Jester said snapping out of it gesturing with her hands for something intangible.
“I suppose so,” Yasha agreed reluctantly, anyone other than Jester she’d be too uncomfortable to talk with, but it was bearable with the blue tiefling, with Molly this conversation would definitely be unbearable. Beau had been more lately, she seemed more free, she seemed lighter, she wasn’t more attractive, but she was just more. “Is there a point,” it was sort of painful to talk about Beau like this with Jester.
“I just noticed that ever since we became famous, there have been a lot of women that have been flirting with her,” Jester said a little pouty. Yasha had to grunt in agreement, there were many young and some older women that found the famous monk quite attractive, asking to touch her arms, or see her do a flip, bothersome. Of course Beau wasn’t the only one who had fans, all the Nein had admirers, but Beau, Fjord, and Caduceus seemed to have the most. Fjord was the most handsome and charismatic, Caduceus was someone big and exotic, and Beau ate the attention up with the ladies.
“I don’t blame them,” Jester continued, “I like to touch Beau’s arms when I can, but I’m her friend and the one who heals her, I’m not some horny woman who likes groping her.”
“Jester,” Yasha chastised her lightly, it wasn’t like she didn’t want to think about Beau’s arms and how Beau was probably swarmed with women right now cooing and fawning over her asking her to make a muscle. They were nice muscles but Yasha’s arms were bigger and so were Jester’s, Yasha had seen Beau’s arms in action, they were far more impressive when fighting a giant monster than they were in a bar giving soft women the vapors.
“I’m just saying she deserves better than a fangirl who likes her because she’s famous,” Jester said angry as she got up to pace around the room. “Beau’s always been pretty and awesome,” Jester continued, “maybe she used to be more awkward but that was part of her charm. Now these women flock around her because she’s famous, not because she throws herself in front of a hydra to make sure it doesn’t hurt us, they don’t know what it’s like to have her hug you after rescuing from slavers, they don’t know what it’s like when she makes a dumb joke to try and make thing less heavy. Beau deserves someone who loves her for who she is, warts and all. Beau deserves to someone who loves her like…, like.”
“Like you,” Yasha says quietly, a pit forming in her stomach when she did. She should have known what Jester really wanted to talk about.
“Or like you Yasha,” Jester said softly and sadly, “Beau’s had a crush on you since she laid eyes on you.”
“I-I,” Yasha stammered, it was true, even she knew that Beau was head over heels for her smitten since she walked into the Nestled Nook with Molly advertising for the Fletching and Moondrop. That was practically a lifetime ago, and Yasha was a different woman. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not attracted to Beau, she’s gross,” she said pathetically. “Besides,” she said somberly, “even if I was attracted to her and looking for a relationship, I’m pretty sure I burned that bridge a long time ago.”
She had told Beau about Zuala last, she didn’t know why, or at least she pretended to not know why. Yasha liked the awkward flirting Beau used in an attempt to woo her and secretly didn't want it to stop. When she had told Beau, she expected the little monk to be angry with her, to claim the aasimar was leading her on. Instead, Beau just looked up at her with those big beautiful blue eyes full of regret and apologized for making her uncomfortable and promised it wouldn’t happen again. It hurt Yasha to see her like that, she had no way of knowing about Zuala until Yasha told her, but she still felt guilty over it and it broke Yasha’s heart.
Since then Beau hadn’t flirted with her, well Beau was still Beau and Yasha was a beautiful woman with arms meant to carry other women, but it was never like before. Just friendly Beau flirting that she did with every woman. At the time it was a relief because it meant that Yasha didn’t have to be confused by the strange charming monk woman that was unwittingly sneaking her way into Yasha’s heart. Now though, that she might be ready to pursue a romantic relationship again with someone, someone that she’s fought beside and was secretly charmed by, it just made her feel regretful.
“Yasha,” Jester said like a mother scolding her for lying, “Beau is so fucking attracted to you, she watches you when you’re not watching her. We’ve spent the last ten minutes about how pretty and cool Beau is and pissed we are at all the sluts throwing herself at her. I mean not that there’s anything wrong with being slutty,” Jester assured her for some reason, “just the problem is when they’re hanging off of our future girlfriend.”
“Wait what,” Yasha asked wondering if she was missing something or if she was just talking to Jester.
“Well yeah, I think Beau is pretty and cool, you think Beau is pretty and cool, both of us are pretty and cool, so why shouldn't we date her,” Jester said as if it was the most logical thing in the world.
“There are quite a few things wrong with that plan Jester,” Yasha said putting her foot down.
“We’ll yeah, we’re a part of the Mighty Nein Yasha, our plans our shit, yet we always get good results in the end. It’s why we’re famous,” Jester said with her eyes bright with excitement. “Now here’s the plan.”
“I still haven't agreed to this Jester,” Yasha said but she felt it was inevitable at this point.
“Look Yasha, I like Beau and I’m willing to fight for her, but I also love you. I’m not sure if it’s the same way, but I’ll fight all those women downstair in every tavern in Wildemount if I have to, but I won’t fight you for her. Would you fight me for her,” Jester asked giving the barbarian those soft sad puppy eyes.
“Of course not Jester,” Yasha said softly, truthfully, if she had to she would fight for Beau, but she don’t think she could fight Jester for another woman.
“Then why not just team up and make Beau love us? We know Beau better than any of those shitty fangirls downstairs, we know what Beau likes. She likes strong women and look at these,” Jester said flexing her arms and showing off her large bulging muscles for a tiny cute tiefling, they were quite attractive. “We could go down their and use our feminine wiles, our huge muscles, and our knowledge of Beau to seduce the fuck out of her until she’s our girlfriend.”
“That is awfully aggressive for romancing someone Jester,” Yasha said skeptically.
“It’s Beau Yasha,” Jester said as if it was obvious, “I’m sure she’ll find it even more romantic if we do it my way.”
“I can’t argue with that,” Yasha admitted. Beau would probably find it the sexiest thing in the world if two women beat the crap out of a bunch of other women in the hope of romancing her into a relationship together.
“so you’re in,” Jester asked.
“I’ll go along with it, I’m not sure about this though.”
“Yay Yasha,” Jester said jumping up and hugging the larger woman. Normally it would be comical, but Jester was nearly as strong as Yasha herself, it felt nice to be hugged like that. “We’re going to have so much fun.”
Which of course that was the moment Beau walked into the room looking tired, “man if you told me a year ago I’d get sick of hordes of women hanging off of me I’d of punched you in the face for that lie. Now, well be careful what you wish for right,” she said brushing herself off. She turned to see Jester hugging Yasha, “am I interrupting something here, I could leave to give you guys some privacy,” she said at the scene.
Yasha and Jester looked at each other, they were very close and it would be very easy to interpret what she saw as sexual or romantic, and they quickly split apart. Jester recovered first though, “why would we want to leave Beau, when we were so excited for you to be here,” she said in that tone that for some reason she seemed to thing was sultry.
Beau took a step back, “is Jester okay,” she asked nervously, Jester’s voice might not be seductive to most people, but when it was directed at her, Beau fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
“She’s fine,” Yasha said, sitting down on the bed. She patted a spot beside her for Beau to take a seat. “We just learned something new and want to discuss it with you, if that’s alright,” she tried to sound as gentle as possible, she wanted Beau to know that she was safe here and that the two of them would never hurt her.
“Alright,” Beau said confused but unafraid, she knew that the rest of the world could try and hurt her and break her but the two of them never would, “lets talk.”
Critrole femslash week day 5 entry, Polyamory. This is my first attempt at an ot3 ship, I’ve never had anything against it, but I’ve just never thought of it really. This is a future fix be warned, hope you enjoy it. If you do, leave a review, a comment, a reblog if you can, likes and kudos are good, but they’re not real feedback
So yeah, this came about because I had this thought that Beau is actually very desirable, despite what the characters in the show act towards her (other than Keg) like she is and outside of the show itself there are plenty of sapphic women who lust after her and Marisha, what if that happened in the show itself and why.
That’s why this is in the future where the Mighty Nein are kind of famous, in a way that Vox Machina never were. Vox Machina were a group of powerful adventurers, but they were basically big in Emon and Whitestone where they pretty much made their bases. They are influential and powerful, but they interact with the leaders of the countries and are just around the people. The Mighty Nein are kind of a brand name thing, they tell people who they are all the time if only to see their reaction when they realize there are only 6-7 of them. Beau is seen as the exotic hottie among the Wildemount women, since she’s so open with her lesbianism, something that despite there being open sexuality in the game apparently it really wouldn't be. Like there are a lot of LGBT+ people in Critical Role, but really I feel that’s because the players are very openly supportive about LGBT+ people, not really because the universe should be at that spot socially, if that makes sense. Like there are people like Howardt who didn’t care about Tary’s happiness and despite knowing his son was gay still was going to marry him off to a women to gain wealth, or like Beau’s parents who despite living in a world where there are powerful women who are literally just as good as men, still despise their daughter because she’s their daughter and not a son. Like I’m glad that things like sexism and homophobia only exist when they’re a problem in the world Matt Mercer made, but unfortunately it’s pretty unrealistic to me. I’m not sure if I’m conveying my point correctly, but since most people don't read these things it doesn't really matter.
I’m not going to pretend that both Yasha and Jester having a crush on Beau isn’t at least a little out of character, but the prompt was polyamory and this is what I thought of.
And yes, I did bring Molly back to life, it’s a future fic and it’s a fanfic so I can do what I want.
@critrolefemslash Critical Role Femslash Week, Day 3: Prompt 1, Moonlight
The full moon will always reminds Beau of Molly. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Useful. Important. And sometimes it’s just fucking unbearable. She hasn’t yet worked out which tonight will be.
"There’s something I have to do," Yasha said before she vanished. "I’ll meet you afterwards." And Beau never had a chance to say no. To say, wait, let me go with you.
She’s meant to meet up with the others in the morning, and Beau’s pretty confident by now that they won’t leave without her, but that also means she’s pretty sure that what they’ll do instead is worry. Which, like, fuck it, but she doesn’t want Jester to worry about her.
Beau could go on alone. Yasha’s found them before, so she can probably do it again. If she even means to. If afterwards isn’t some code that Beau has misunderstood. If it didn’t really mean goodbye.
Beau sits down, finally pausing her pacing for a moment, and leans her back against the tree that marks the crossroads. She’ll give Yasha another hour, she decides. She can wait that much longer before she goes completely out of her damn mind with boredom.
(Definitely boredom. Definitely not stress or fear or guilt because what if the thing Yasha had to do was a fight and what if she’s dead. What if she’s dead because Beau didn’t go with her, because Beau is sitting here on her ass in the dark thinking about their other dead friend instead.)
Yeah, sitting still isn’t going to cut it. Beau hops back to her feet and launches into practising a new sequence of kicks that she hasn’t had a chance to put to use yet. She scans the distant hills each time she pauses, the moon bright enough that she can see quite far with the help of her goggles. As the night wears on, she takes them off a couple of times, just to check whether she can actually see dawn beginning to glow on the horizon, but it’s always a false alarm.
She’s taken to hanging upside down from one of the lowest tree branches by her knees, swinging herself back and forth, when she finally catches sight of a figure on the road. She freezes, watches, ready to flee into the foliage above if it turns out to be something she can’t fight on her own, but it only takes a moment for her to be sure.
Beau somersaults out of the tree, landing on her feet with more of a thud than she’d have liked, and heads towards Yasha. She’s not running. She wasn’t worried and she’s not running. She’s just walking real fast to stretch her legs.
It seems fitting to Beau as she gets nearer that Yasha, outlined in silvery moonlight, is drenched in blood. It mats the fur of her cape and darkens great patches of her tunic. Nearer still, and there are smears on her cheek and down both arms.
Still some thirty feet away, Beau yells, “The fuck?” and gestures emphatically at Yasha’s gory state.
“It’s not mine,” Yasha has time to tell her, before Beau is right in front of her. “It’s ok, Beau.”
She reaches out, and Beau throws herself forward, and it’s not clear whether Beau leaps into Yasha’s arms or Yasha sweeps Beau off her feet, but Beau locks her legs around Yasha’s waist and holds on for all she’s worth. She buries her face in Yasha’s shoulder, and Yasha smells like dirt and sweat and metal, and the blood on her clothes is dried stiff under Beau’s hands.
When Beau looks up, she’s absolutely not crying, not even a tiny bit.
And Yasha kisses her, hard and urgent, and the only thing Beau can do is kiss her back, there under the full moon. Tonight, the moon is good, Beau decides, breathless. Yasha is here and alive, and the moon is fucking awesome.
She grins against Yasha’s mouth and loses herself in kissing her again.
Beau is a college student. She's not pining for the star athlete of the Softball team.
Beau never went to breakfast at her dining hall. For one, it was shit. She was also never awake before noon, negating her need for breakfast.
However, on this fucking Tuesday, she had a 9am Computer Science lecture. So it was socially appropriate for her to make it to breakfast and ogle at the tv screens broadcasting internal campus news over a cup of shitty black cafeteria coffee.
Almost nothing of interest was happening, aside from RA sponsored therapy with cookies and a film screening for an art class nobody would go to.
“Why are you so grumpy?” Beau was pulled from out of her own world by Jester, cheery as fuck at early in the morning. She knew full well that the theology student before her had no classes before noon, but got up early anyway to rub it in people’s faces.
“How do you know I’m grumpy?” Beau asks, defensive. She slurps some of her coffee.
“Because,” Jester takes a large bite of pastry. “You were just frowning at the TV. You’re almost always grumpy anyway. And, Yasha’s still not here.”
“That last one is so not true.” Beau mutters. “I’m perfectly happy it's just early,”
“Name something happy, like puppies.” Jester raises an inquisitive eyebrow. “But not puppies because that was my example.”
Read more on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17440682
For @critrolefemslash‘s Critical Role Femslash Weeek 2019 Day 2 Prompts, First Kiss and Canon Lesbians (happy accident ;D)
Kima swings high with her maul, and gives out a wild yell of satisfaction when it connects with the ogre’s knee and watches as he keels over like a felled tree. “Yaaaaaaaah! Take that, you ugly bastard!” She grins, and looks around to see how the others are doing. She spots a starry swirl of some kind of arcane magic somewhere far out of melee range and hears a pained grunt as the spell hits, followed by a triumphant grunt that sounds a lot like Drake.
Next to her, Dohla is whaling on another ogre with her fists.
Across the cavern, she watches Allura summoning her magic to bear upon the ogres still standing. She opens her mouth to cheer her on, but the cheer dies in her throat as a fifth ogre steps up behind her, club held high. She doesn’t even have time to call out a warning before he brings it crashing down on Allura’s head. She crumples to the ground without a sound, the spell snuffing out in the air around her.
“Allie!” The battle, which only a moment before had been a fun challenge, a chance to flex her muscles, is now an unwelcome distraction, an obstacle to get past so she can go check on Allura.
She yells again, this time in fury, and starts racing for the ogre that knocked Allie out. The ogre in combat with Dohla swings at her on her way past, but she barely registers it, bringing her shield up to block the blow almost as an afterthought. The cavern seems to stretch out endlessly before her, and she’s sure she’s never cursed having been born with short legs more than in this moment.
She throws herself to her knees, skidding across the cavern floor to Allura’s side. She’s still breathing, and thank Bahamut for that, even if it’s much shallower and more uneven than Kima would like, but her already pale skin has a positively ghastly green tint to it, and she can already see the beginnings of an ugly bruise messing up her usually immaculate braids.
She pulls Allie carefully into her lap, summoning Bahamut’s light, feeling the warm glow run up her arms, and through her hands into Allura’s body. The change is instant and obvious, the lump on the back of her head immediately lesses, some colour comes back into her cheeks, and she gasps in a deeper breath of air as her eyes flutter open.
“Kima?”
“Allie!” Relief floods through her, like warmth, like Bahamut’s light. It’s good knowing she’s always got healing magic at her disposal on the battlefield, but having to use it never gets any less scary. “You’re not supposed to get up close like that, what’s the point of all those fancy ranged spells if you’re going to let them get close enough to clonk you on the head?”
Allura’s answering smile may be watery, but it’s there. “I’m sorry. I must not’ve heard that one coming up behind me.”
“I can’t believe an ogre snuck up on you. Doesn’t seem all that smart somehow.”
Allura flushes, and the extra colour in her cheeks is definitely a welcome sight. “No. Definitely not my finest moment.” She looks up at Kima, with an unbearably soft, open expression on her face. “Thank you for coming to my rescue though. My knight in shining armour.” She props herself up on her elbows just enough to reach up and give Kima a peck on the lips, and now it’s Kima’s turn to flush; as the realization hits her like a ton of bricks that Allura might have feelings for her, swiftly followed by the realization that she might also have feelings for Allura.
The angle is awkward, but she bends down to kiss Allura back anyway, trying to put all her earlier fear for Allura’s safety, and her relief that she’s all right now into it. She comes up for air much sooner than she’d like, mindful that Allie’s probably concussed and shouldn’t be over-exerting herself. With a jolt, she remembers there was still a battle going on around them, and looks up to see the rest of their adventuring party watching them with some extremely knowing smiles on their faces, and a collection of ogre corpses strewn around them.
Drake snorts. “We’ve been wondering how long it would take you two to figure that out.”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Rating: T+
Relationship: Yasha/Zuala
Wordcount: 5.3k
Additional Notes: Written for Day 3 of @critrolefemslash Week: Moonlight! Warnings for implications of canon-typical violence and brief character injury.
Yasha regards love much the way people do natural disasters: with fear, inevitability, and distance. She could have never prepared for Zuala.
