#cross hatching art

[zairaalbereo]

Sometimes you just need some Loki

(Scratch that, you always need some Loki)

[zairaalbereo]

You have Joe and Nicky.

Because Quynh needs a hug, and the first movie already established that they are the best at hugging.

(And I had to compensate somehow for not getting my emotional satisfaction of seeing their reunion, or at least a moment between them, a moment dedicated to their deep and close relationship…)

[zairaalbereo]

“Please don’t do this.”

So after binging the whole four seasons of Black Sails last month, I’m now on a more leisurely rewatch… or so I thought.

But god everything hits so much worse or better or harder knowing about Flint’s past and motivation now. And then this scene came up, and I’m just… fuuuuuck. Crying, screaming, throwing up. I’m not okay. This is devastating. (Did I mention I cope with art?)

On my first watch, Flint killing Gates truly shocked me. He would really kill his friend just because he wouldn’t go along with his plans? To not have to give up on the Urca? Sure, Gates is going against his command. It’s mutiny, but Gates seems to be trying, and he sounds so bloody reasonable. And more importantly, he’s been a loyal friend up until now. A fatherly friend (I want to throw up). And even now he’s… trying to protect Flint, right? (Fuck. Seriously. Feeling ill.)

But yeah, I was shocked. And as he whispered broken apologies to the friend he just murdered, I wondered… could I forgive him for this?

And now…omg now it’s like watching a completely different train wreck happening, and it all makes perfect, tragic, horrible sense. The way the whole scene mirrors James McGraw’s futile attempt to convince Hennessy of their Hail Mary plan to save Nassau. Every step. The urgency when things have already gone sideways, but James refuses to give up, because it can still work. People just have to listen. Let him explain. Have a little faith. Back then he trusted Hennessy, and now he still trusts Gates. He trusts them to understand, asking them to believe in him. He doesn’t see it coming. (How does he not see it coming this time?)

And then the moment the floor is ripped out from under him. And it’s all there, on Flint’s face, in the moment when Gates says “They know.” It’s not the mutiny. It’s the betrayal. The way Flint’s face falls, and for a moment he looks just like James McGraw in Hennessy’s office. The same devastation and disbelief when he asks “You told them?” And of course for him it is the same betrayal. It is the same fight, to prove Thomas right. To stand against those who took him and everything else away from James.

And Gates, that poor bastard, doesn’t even understand what sin he is committing. He doesn’t even see it as mutiny. He sees it as doing the right thing, containing a madman. (Omggg…) And then there is Flint, reliving the worst moments of his life. And that point it doesn’t feel like it’s about the Urca anymore. It’s an emotional massacre, to which Gates seems completely oblivious. When Flint asks if he will see him get hanged, only to be promised an opportunity to flee for him and ‘Mrs Barlow’, Gates thinks he is doing him a kindness. Like Hennessy probably thought he was doing him a kindness, saving him from the gallows. It’s all right. Flint just has to leave, vanish and never be heard of again. He should be grateful. And the way Flint’s eyes close briefly in disbelief that this is happening. Again. The way he pleads with Gates, just like he pleaded with Hennessy. So unlike Flint. But once more he is told that his actions are unforgivable. Simply too much. He’s not just rejected, but he is abandoned. He is cast out for who he is and his supposed sins. A monster that can’t be allowed to exist amongst the rest of them.

The whole scene is executed so brilliantly, the way he fluctuates between James’ almost innocent appeals to be understood and Flint’s anger at being denied. But he keeps trying until the last moment. And then, when he acts, it’s not a calculated move. It’s pure desperation, the only purpose to do something, to stop what is happening. Because James McGraw didn’t. But where James McGraw hesitated, where he maybe still hoped, still didn’t comprehend, and where he still thought he had something to lose… Flint doesn’t. And yet we can see it break him. We can see how it breaks another part of his soul. 

(And of course it will happen again. Screaming. Crying. Throwing up.)

[zairaalbereo]

Just one moment of peace.

Part of this was just me wanting a bit of an extra challenge as an art project to take my mind of things, part of it was digging through my bottomless reference folder for something completely different and getting stuck with an idea about Flint and his horse? And, really, the need for small comforts, I guess.

Anyway. I like the idea of him being secretly fond of that horse, of giving it some ridiculous name that nobody would get but Thomas (although Miranda probably does, and just pretends she doesn’t). And of him taking comfort in the warmth and solid presence of another living creature, of him allowing to let the mask slip and be gentle for a moment. It’s a simple comfort, and one I can see him craving when he has so little comfort left.

[zairaalbereo]

In Tarot the Ace of Swords stands for a break through, clarity and a new beginning, while the Ace of Cups stands for love, new relationships, compassion and creativity.

I thought these two cards could, in a lovely way, represented that moment in Joe and Nicky’s journey, where their lives shift direction, and something new and beautiful is born.

[zairaalbereo]

Like so often, I started out doing some random sketching, which turned into a full cross hatching with background.

But of course then something in my head pops up and says “But what if ✨colour✨?”

So here are Joe and Nicky. (Always, always…)

Maybe a friends to lovers AU with lots of pining and enough angst to make the happy ending all the sweeter? Or possibly just them waiting for something to happen during a long mission in Amsterdam — a task Nicky is unfortunately much better suited for than Joe?

I couldn’t decide which art I liked better, coloured or not. How about you? If you want, let me know in the tags! 😘

[zairaalbereo]

Found.

I have so many feelings about these two. And so many feelings about Flint‘s journey. The way he loses absolutely everything. First Thomas, his career, his home, his father figure. Then slowly every friend he ever had. Miranda. Gates. Eleanor. Even Silver. All his crew. His ship. His purpose. His goddamn hair. And finally his freedom.

The suffering is literally carved on his face. But he is still standing. He keeps putting one foot in front of the other, and in the end it leads him back to Thomas. His truest love. Be still my heart. Most epic hurt/comfort of all time.

And then, of course, he takes his life back and his freedom (and if Thomas has a say grows back his hair) because James Flint never gives in. I refuse to believe anything else.

[zairaalbereo]

“Nicky and I met in the crusades.”

The accompanying redraw of Nicky to this crusades era Joe.

Also on Redbubble.