#crosskin

[fictionkinfessions]

don't you see im alive? dont you see me? i am not a tool. i am not a dog. i am not. your fucking. puppet. i do not belong to anybody. do you understand? and finally, my name is cross. got it?

✉

[fictionkinfessions]

i'm cross now. nice. (utmv)

0p

[fictionkinfessions]

Thinking about Nightmare. I'm another person in another world in another life, so now I can look at it and go wow that power dynamic was. Fucked. I knew I was being manipulated because I had enough self awareness to know I was easy but Stars did it really feel like I was special and good. Nightmare was so fascinating because he picked me up when I was all broken pieces and slowly and gently put me back together and cradled me through my distrust of him and really really made me think that I meant something to him. I literally knew I couldn't have and yet i was still convinced.

He was scary, and barely a person, and honestly more of an eldritch horror concept, but I liked him a lot. I was so set on being my own person but then I rolled over for him the second he gave me a command. I needed instructions and he gave them. I needed praise and he praised me. I needed purpose and he gave me one. Idk, I barely even noticed that I was deep into his weird self worshipping cult shit by the time I was genuinely a little obsessed with him. I think he reminded me of XGaster, kind of, and some weird conditioned part of my brain just immediately decided to obey him like a well trained dog. I'm not going to unpack what my maybe-attraction to him meant I think I was just. Fucked.

Would probably fall for his manipulation again, 10/10. I guess I have to admit he was competent because he also did that to a lot of other people. It not just being me is at least a little comforting.

- Cross #castelet🧵🦂

p

[fictionkinfessions]

I'm still super hyped about Xenoblade Chronicles X getting a Definitive Edition but. I forgot that I get blown up, lose an arm, and have an existential crisis. Not really looking forward to personally experiencing that, it was just a memory the first time because I couldn't play source originally. - Cross/Rook, Xenoblade Chronicles X

0

[fictionkinfessions]

NOT EVEN A DISTANT LAND, WE'RE STUCK ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT PLANET

I NEVER HAD A WII U SO I COULDN'T PLAY SOURCE AT LAUNCH, WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK RAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

- Cross/Rook, Xenoblade Chronicles X (soon to be Definitive Edition!!!)

w

[fictionkinfessions]

I've been confessing a lot here but also I've been remembering my friends a lot haha

Horror was so big but so aware of himself (for admittedly unsavoury reasons. Precisely cutting people apart and stuff but hey, he didn't like to be messy) so he tended to be really gentle. It made me stumble a bit every time he put his hand on my shoulder cause it was so heavy, but he always instinctively steadied me? And I helped him cook a lot, especially in the beginning where he was super overwhelmed by all the food. The utensils were always too small for his hands and he handled them with such care and precision. We had a chicken coop and even though he was so big and scary the chickens were never scared of him, and he handled them so so gently. Also the garden...he worked in our little vegetable garden a lot and he was just. Idk. I loved him a lot. He was really nice to me.

He was a scary guy, super dangerous and admittedly like, really mean to everyone but his family and friends. But Stars, he was sweet to me, so sweet. One time I cried and wandered into the kitchen at night and he was also there since we were both having bad nights apparently. He made stew and we sat outside eating and talking until morning and it was really nice, I felt safe with him.

So uh, Cross here, I miss you big guy (#anomaly🐑🔪)

x

[fictionkinfessions]

Most things scare me because I have like. So much anxiety. But one of the things that scares me the most is getting deja-vu. It unsettles me so deeply, it makes me nervous, it's not uncommon for me to just suddenly get nauseous because I realise I've been here before.

I know it "logically" doesn't make sense but then how would we logically explain something beyond our control and understanding. Maybe this really has happened before, maybe I'm stuck all over again. It scares me so badly and no one I know irl will ever take me seriously. Other people who kin or are introjects from Undertale and AUs are usually understanding (though a reset is. Not the same as an overwrite) but that's internet people and they're all so far away.

I'm "just being delusional" but even if it's irrational my fear is so very real?? I wish anyone would take my fear seriously enough to have some compassion for me it just makes me feel so alone. I hate being alone.

- (Cross) #anomaly🐑🔪

x

[sugar-and-vice-mogai]

cross spaceship kin flags

[pt: cross spaceship kin flags /end pt]

[flag ids: two flags. they both have 11 stripes, that are a black to gold gradient till the 6th stripe, which is black, and then the gradient repeats, reversed. there is a circle in the middle. the flag on the left contains a picture of a gold and black cross shaped spaceship, and the right flag contains the otherkin star, in gold /end id]

[id: a divider. there are two thin light pink lines. in the middle of these two lines is the conduitalbumic flag /end id]

cross spaceship kin flags, for when you are kin with the cross spaceship from the album notes of ✝ by justice!

[dni id: the conduitalbumic flag as a rectangle with rounded corners. text on the rectangle reads: Do Not Interact - Homophobes, Transphobes, Anti-xenogenders, Anti-mogai/liom, Transid/transx, Maps/noMaps, anti "contradictory labels", believes in "narc abuse" /end id]