#cryptid lesbians

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

On my way out of the doctor's office yesterday, I saw a book on a receptionist's desk which was titled The Housemaid's Secret. I don't want to read it or look up anything about it because with the way Tumblr maids are, there's no way it could possibly live up to what my imagination would produce from that title.

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

So y'know obviously for something like me, everyone who tries to attack me is instantlossbait, but every so often I have some manly-dude come at me who has an epithet like "the Demon Swordsman" or "the Unbreakable Blade" kind of thing. You know the type, they're all "oh I'm too powerful, nothing matters to me except battle, I need a worthy opponent" etc. etc.

So obviously I showboat just long enough to make it obvious that I'm not in any actual danger of losing the fight before shattering my opponent's blade, but recently I've started adding a little extra flare to it.

I'll be like. "Oh. So seeking me out was what you imagined to be the manliest thing you could do at that moment, huh? Wow. I mean if you were a pretty lady, maybe I'd bother to give you the time of day! So strong, and yet you can't even take your destiny in your own hands!" and so on. Estrogen's bound to save someone.

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[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

The thing to understand about Yukari Yakumo is that she is an ancient and powerful being who's slightly an eldritch monstrosity; the workings of her mind are an enigma. She created a fantasy-land specifically for the benefit of man-eating monsters, and regularly kidnaps humans from the mundane world so that they can get eaten. She's also a cunning manipulator, and has been known to trick mortals to their doom.

But if you're a fellow man-eating monster, or at least you're someone who doesn't mind any of that, then she's just really annoying, kind of obnoxiously cryptic, and she doesn't fully get that her way of thinking is unusual.

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

Bunch of vampire women drink from this one human woman, the next morning she's a vampire, they all argue over which of them is "the one who turned her"

She's lying across all their laps while they have this debate, probably. In a lesbian way.

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

Autistic monster infodumps on how she's going to kill and eat the heroine

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

I slept kind of fitfully last night, and I dreamed that Ellen Kramer, the updated trans version of my high school self-insert OC, was ascending this unspecified building, getting into shounen battle-manga fights with evil lesbians or something. Ellen had a scarf that could become electrified, which was of course her iconic weapon (an electrified scarf is not and has never been her iconic weapon).

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

youre the cryptid! :)

Yeah I know. :3

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

I've spent the whole tdov invisible, thanks.