im in the bathroom listening to the following conversation between my roommate and my cat in the hallway outside trying to stifle my laughter.
roommate: is there a problem?
roommate: oh no, is the door shut? did charlie lock you out of the bathroom?
roommate: well you see, i could fix that problem for you—
roommate: —but due to social rules that you probably couldn't understand even if i explained them,
roommate: yeah, dude, i hear you, but it's not gonna happen.
roommate: i know i have opposable thumbs, but my hands are tied, thumbs and all. i'm sorry, i wish it didn't have to be this way.
[sound of roommate's door closing, followed by desperate scrabbling claws on the bathroom door]