Okay, but if you think about it is what BenDeLa did really that shocking?
Think about it. RPDR is so much different than most reality TV shows. These girls are put on a different pedestal. As viewers all we see is the drama, the shade, and the comedy and it's enticing to us. Sometimes we get angry if there isn't ENOUGH drama.
But this is something that could affect the queens for years to come. The queens are held to this double standard of expecting to interact and engage with one another as icons of the LGBTQ community, but they're also expected to tear each other apart on screen, ultimately for money.
That's not to say that there isn't ways to get around that. Sasha Velour and Jinx Monsoon, to name a couple, are prime examples that they don't necessarily HAVE to be hateful to win. However, it's evident that even in those cases there is this immense pressure to conform to all of these different standards held by the different communities they are part of and it's easy to crack under that much pressure.
RPDR isn't like other reality competition shows in the sense that they are expected to interact long after the show has been aired. Let's take American Idol as an example. Obviously there's drama and competition, but the performers aren't part of another community that forces them to engage with those that were once sometimes downright cruel to them.
All of that would be a LOT to bear for any of us. That's why in the T Alaska mentions "$100,000 ain't that much..." That's why we've seen the changes in Trixie this season that some people cannot stand, and that's why DeLa made her decision. In her mind, it's better to leave with the title of Miss Congeniality and know that she kept her friendships, kept her positive reputation, and stayed true to herself rather than making rash decisions that could affect her relationship with others over a competition.
And you know what? I, for one, don't blame her at all.