Lucanis: Hello, I'm Lucanis Dellamorte and I'm here with LADBible to read Thirst Tweets
*intro plays*
Lucanis: All right, here we go... first one, uhm... it just says "Lucanis choke me daddy"
Lucanis:
Lucanis: well... choking is a very slow way of killing someone, if I didn't have my knives I'd much prefer to snap someone's neck. But... in a pinch, if you are out of options, then maybe you could use choking, yeah. Ok, next one...
Lucanis: "Lucanis can stab me in the back as many times as he wants, if you know what I mean"
Lucanis: I... suspect there is a bit of wordplay going on here. You should never need to stab someone in the back multiple times, one or two strikes is all you need. Either one lethal strike to the heart or neck or one incapacitating strike with a follow up to confirm the kill, any more than that is wasting your time. Next
Lucanis: "Hi Lucanis, quick question about your line of work in the crows...." oh, this surely I would be able to answer, no problem "...how much for a contract to murder this p[BLEEP]y. Asking for a friend"
Lucanis: *hides face in palm* Mierda...
Lucanis: Ok so first off, I don't think you're asking for a friend, by the looks of it. Also, that is not the kind of business we run. It definitely could happen that a crow would use sex as a means of social infiltration under a cover to get closer to a target, but you'd have to ask Illario about that, it's not in my preferred method. But thank you for thinking of us, we are always happy to receive new contracts. Next one
Lucanis: "Lucanis could serve me boiled coffee every single day and I'd thank him on my knees for it"
Lucanis: ...on their knees? That's... this is messed up. You don't boil your coffee, you have water that is boiling hot when you filter it, but you don't boil the coffee itself, it will turn sour. You're wasting good coffee, come on. Mierda.. these people.. ok, what do we have more
Lucanis: "Neve and Lucanis are couple GOALS, they are perfect and iconic... " aww, I agree. Neve is a beautiful woman, I am a lucky man to have her "...and I also think they should spitroast me, I mean spitroast me, no not spitroast I mean spitroast, no not..." and it goes on like this... for quite a while
Lucanis: for someone not trying to say spitroast you sure are saying spitroast a lot. uhm... I'm not sure about the logistics of that, I suppose if Neve had the equipment... I'd have to run it by Neve, it's not my decision alone. But thank you for the compliment, she is my light and blessing. Ok, next
Lucanis: ...it just says "Lucanis and Illario Dellamorte step on me challenge"
Lucanis: I don't... I don't understand the challenge. Illario and I do play around sometimes but... it seems like this wouldn't be much of a challenge. Also... Illario and I are cousins, just... I think maybe you forgot about that
Muffled voice off screen: Oh they definitely know
Lucanis: they know??
Muffled voice off screen: that's part of it
Lucanis: what do you mean 'that's part of it'? What do you mean 'that's part of it'??
Lucanis: Ok they're just waving to me to continue, so... I guess we just... move on from this. It might be for the best. So...
Lucanis: "I think Spite often gets misrepresented, just because he looks scary he gets called a demon when he's just a spirit of determination..." it's true. I've talked to Emmrich about this and it's helped a lot in my relationship with Spite. you can see any man as a monster, and any spirit as a demon, but... in large part it's mostly about the circumstances that have have molded you "...and that's why I think after Lucanis is done blowing out my back Spite should take over so he can blow my back out twice"
Lucanis: are these... these can't be real, or like... where do you even find these people?
Muffled voice off screen: this is a common one
Lucanis: this is a common one?? You mean to tell me that multiple people independent of each other are tweeting about... me and Spite taking turns on them?
Muffled voice off screen: yeah I see it all the time
*multiple other voices off screen join in agreement*
Lucanis: ok, that's... I'm glad we can agree on something in these trying times, kind of wish it was something else, but... I guess you take what you can. That was the last one, so... I guess we are done here. Thank you for having me and this has been Thirst Tweets
