tardigradeD20 @tardigraded20 - Tumblr Blog

so a racist got utterly demolished in less than 30 seconds on the New Zealand morning news on Monday and it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen

who knew a white guy could be capable of such an iconic response, he knows what’s up and is having none of that shit, every other white guy take notes tbh

han-j1

I love that he said Pakeha

littlereddove

Can someone write what its being said in this?

kc749

Male co-host: We have had a whole heap of feedback regarding Te Tai Tokerau MP Kelvin Davis’s proposal to institute a prison run on Māori values into New Zealand. He’s looking at potentially establishing this prison up north. It isn’t Labour policy just yet, it’s just an idea of Kelvin Davis’s. And this has been really really divisive on our Facebook page this morning. (sarcastically) Here I think we have the single greatest email, the single greatest message we have ever had on breakfast.

(clears throat deliberately) “’Janice’ says: Good morning. I’m sick of hearing that Māori need different treatment. If they don’t want to live in our society, then maybe we should put them all on an island and leave them to it.”

Male co-host: “Janice. That is LITERALLY what happened! That is the history of our country. Last I checked, Māori WERE on an island, they were left to it, and then Pākehā (Māori term for white New Zealanders) turned up and look how that worked out. But thank you very much for that brilliant insight. Goodness me. Unbelievable. Unbelievable, they actually-“

Female co-host: “Actually, you can’t even get angry, you just actually need to laugh and then screw it up and put it under the desk. Just when you thought-“

Male co-host: (mimicking letter) “’Put them all on an island, leave them to it.’ Yeah. What a great idea that is Janice.

dancinbutterfly

I really need “What a great idea that is, Janice.” to be a meme filled with those stupid complete cognitive dissonance bigoted statements.

johncribati

vbartilucci

Janice is clearly Karen’s Kiwi Cousin.

valquainton

I will never not reblog. AND remind everyone that John Tame is NOT a ‘white guy’ (as OP came to realise), he is Maori. And absolutely taking none of that colonialist shit :-)

#funny texts #memes #lol post #texts #friendship

100 Questions

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More Cereal than milk. I desire the c r u n c h. 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes, if I am in the mood. 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Tissue paper, ripped paper, string 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? With a shit load of milk and sugar, its probably not even “real” tea or coffee when I am done with them. 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yeah, I was told I look creepy when I smile. 6: do you keep plants? Yes, a mint plants. 7: do you name your plants? No. 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I do beading, which I learned in native arts class from my native teacher. 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Disney songs. Or whatever Tiktok song is stuck in my head. 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Stomach, I know thats bad but like, its comfy as fuck. 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? oUI, oUi, BAgUeTtE

12: what’s your favorite planet? Neptune, its so pretty. 13: what’s something that made you smile today? My mom and I laughing at historical dramatics. 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Probably a mess filled with fandom shit and lava lamps, and books. 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! There is water ice everywhere. 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Mac’n’cheese, as I am a basic Canadian 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Dark red 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. stealing frogs from the forest when we where like 11 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do, and I do creative writing.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Deep green 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. People have favorite bags??? 22: are you a morning person? Hell no, I am doing this at 11:25 pm 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Binge watch historical dramas 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? lmao no 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Haven’t done that yet 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My boots, from etsy: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/672309135/dragonfly-mandala-multi-coloured-womens?ref=shop_home_active_584&pro=1&frs=1 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Strawberry 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset, as I like seeing the stars after 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Always offer me hugs when I meet them (omg i miss them so much)) 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes, when I almost drowned when I was 6. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. Socks are good in cold weather, namely knee high colorful socks. I cant sleep with socks on and I often wear mismatched socks. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. we ate chocolate all night and binge watched anime 33: what’s your fave pastry? Lemon squares 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I have a stuffed snow lion named Skyler, I still have it. 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I love them and I want some, but I am poor and don’t have any. 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? The Crane Wives-Ribs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uoaqvA-y6M 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Pfft, always messy. I have almost no organization. 38: tell us about your pet peeves! This is going to sound petty as fuck but: -telling me to talk quietly in a casual place -generally talking over me and not listening to me -Keeping me out of the loop while acting like my friend -Not saying thank you (i am so Canadian lmao) 39: what color do you wear the most? Since “BlAcK is noT a cOlOR” I would day my main color is blue or purple. 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

Even if my ears are not pierced yet, I am planning to get them done soon, these earrings one of my friends from elementary school that she gave me when I move from that town to where I live now. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Its soo fucking good. 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I don’t go out for drinks like that.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My mom 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? A few days ago, when I went for a walk in the woods. 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes I do. 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Surströmming. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? My biggest fear is getting assaulted, but that is not a fear I had as a kid. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Yeah, I grew up with punk and reggae CDs. The last one I bought was an Aretha Franklin one. 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Silicon bracelets

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

My best friend Alessia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37iREbROyb0 Canary In a Coal Mine 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? All the trump dissing memes 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Heh, They are not my thing. 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My hecking cat when I don’t feed them. 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Make a whole ass essay to prove that someones history facts are wrong. 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? People who go out of the way to make sure that you are fine. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It makes me feel energized and dramatic. 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I am vodka aunt, my other friend I will call her Il, is wine mom. 59: what’s your favorite myth? The Medusa myth. 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I like poetry. I like The Jabberwocky, Over the Hills and Far Away, Scarborough Far, The Willow Maid, The Wind That Shakes The Barley, and Dragonshore.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I love all gifts so....I once gave my friends a color changing horse. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? We usually don’t have juice in the house put usually we have mango juice. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I need series of books together and by the same author but otherwise with books I dont care. Music I dont care anymore. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? All of my friends boo. 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

(from: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/535073383/pink-ivory-flower-crown-floral-headband?utm_source=Pinterest&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share&utm_term=so.lp.d2.v1&share_time=1532873200000) 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? They make me feel bittersweet. 68: what’s winter like where you live? Deep ass snow, snow days, cold, negative 24 degrees who? 69: what are your favorite board games?Does Dungeons and Dragons count?

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Yes, in my school beside the graveyard.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Hibiscus tea.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

Nope. I have a good memory.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Late night snacking and dermatillomania.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They are beautiful with long, healthy, thick hair, intelligent, smart, talented, hardworking, responsible, sweet, caring and very affectionate to there friends.

75: tell us about your pets!

I have two cats. A long haired ginger cat who loves cuddles named Ivy and and a tabby cat who is lazy and grumpy named Summer.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

My school work but my marks are not going down soooo-

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Both? I just like lemonade.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

H a t e c l u b

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

I just enjoy people buying me food to watch me enjoy it. I think thats cute.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Dark blue because aesthetic and my brother and I had to agree on the same color.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

....i dont look at eyes

82: are/were you good in school?

I was average in everything but history where I was good.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

Does Manga count? If so Kakegurui.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

89: are you close to your parents?

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Istanbul has so many historic buildings and beautiful art and tasty food I love that city too much. There are so many things there you can do there.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

......hahahaha 2020

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

ALL THE C H E E S E

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

My head is shaved 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Myself 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Sleep I guess 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I install them quickly. 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTP-T, Gemini, and a Hufflepuff 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? My family went last week to Mount Baldy. It was fun and the sight was amazing. 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. -Ribs By The Crane Wives -Norupo by Heilung -Babushka by Kate Bush 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?-5 years into the future to avoid Covid

(From: https://my-witchy-journal.tumblr.com/post/620855703354163200/these-are-actually-hella-fucking-cute-yall)

#100 questions #top questions #things about me #music

weaver-z

Marvel directors: Even when actors like Chris Evans do their own stunts, we make sure they’re VERY wired in and rehearse a lot before filming. We also add dangerous weapons in in post so there’s no chance of danger, even with a prop. :)

Good Omens directors: We’re making David Tennant DRIVE A FLAMING CAR and IF HE DIES, HE DIES

weaver-z

@littlexolotl

If he dies

HE DIES.

mishandjen-tellmehow

WTF

I SAY WHAT THE F

WHAT WAS HAPPENING !??!

@castiel-saved-me-from-myself

*ah, i need to elaborate, i’m not stressed over this, i’m .. uhm. shook, more like it, yes, ahhahah

fandomsmeantheworldtome

IS THIS TRUE? OMG !!!

mishandjen-tellmehow

I just remember something, due to this article here

The fire at the bookstore was real and the burning books were also real, too ( they collected thrown away books and made them look like antique books)

ducktaleswoo-oo

BONUS:

janthonysangel

Hey um wtf

snowbertlover

“And I’m very glad that he survived” WHAT

petermorwood

CGI-for-everything is so common nowadays that everyone forgets there’s still a complete branch of physical FX called “pyrotechnics”.

fioblah

would u guys be mad if i started calling mint “fruit”

shobasuckso

NOSSOSOSODID OOOOOO MINT IS A LEAFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

fioblah

my favorite little fruit <3

shobasuckso

ITS AN HERB IT HAS LEAVES AND AND YOU PUT IT ON RAVIOLI!???

fioblah

U PUT MINT ON YOUR RAVIOLI???????????

shobasuckso

THEN EXPLAIN THE GREEN STUFF ON THIS!!!!?

fioblah

BASIL

fioblah

STOP SAYING ITS PARSELY I DONT FUCKING PUT PARSELY ON MY RAVIOLIIIIIIIII

shobasuckso

WHATS PARSELY

tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis

THIS IS PARSLEY

THIS IS BASIL

AND THIS IS MINT

WHICH ONE ARE YOU PUTTING ON YOUR RAVIOLI?!?!?!

shobasuckso

ITS ALL LEAF!!!!????

digital-magus

Just pull shit off a tree and throw it in the pot it's all leef!

adjoint-law

Future archaeologists will assume that civilization's downfall was inevitable

tardigraded20

Grocery shopping is just dead huh

#help #what is this #humans are dumb #leafs

fioblah

would u guys be mad if i started calling mint “fruit”

shobasuckso

NOSSOSOSODID OOOOOO MINT IS A LEAFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

fioblah

my favorite little fruit <3

shobasuckso

ITS AN HERB IT HAS LEAVES AND AND YOU PUT IT ON RAVIOLI!???

fioblah

U PUT MINT ON YOUR RAVIOLI???????????

shobasuckso

THEN EXPLAIN THE GREEN STUFF ON THIS!!!!?

fioblah

BASIL

fioblah

STOP SAYING ITS PARSELY I DONT FUCKING PUT PARSELY ON MY RAVIOLIIIIIIIII

shobasuckso

WHATS PARSELY

tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis

THIS IS PARSLEY

THIS IS BASIL

AND THIS IS MINT

WHICH ONE ARE YOU PUTTING ON YOUR RAVIOLI?!?!?!

shobasuckso

ITS ALL LEAF!!!!????

digital-magus

Just pull shit off a tree and throw it in the pot it's all leef!

adjoint-law

Future archaeologists will assume that civilization's downfall was inevitable

i-was-today-years-old-when

i learned that Binghamton University researchers have been working on a self-healing concrete that uses a specific type of fungi as a healing agent. When the fungus is mixed with concrete, it lies dormant until cracks appear, when spores germinate, grow and precipitate calcium carbonate to heal the cracks (x)

dammitradar

What could possibly be more cursed than mushrooms growing bones to heal the chasms in the road

saturniidae-served-cold

What could possibly be more blessed than mushrooms growing bones to heal the chasms in the road

shiftergirlslappy

We’re getting closer and closer to organic tech future and I for one am excited

gracelesstars

2020 has been like:

January

February

March

Ap-

Junly

Augsepoctob…Halloween

Destiel

December

tardigraded20

faefulli

This works too-

tardigraded20

I love it

#dnd #dnd memes #dungeons and dragons #dm #dungeons and dragon memes #liam o'brien #tabletop rpg #pinterest #memes #critical role

i-will-help-you-swim

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

cmoon-rabbit4-blog

Reblog if your blog is a safe place for asexuals.

magnetic-maverick

your-local-salty-bitch-deactiva

HELL YEAH

fiveteeth-deactivated20240408

YOU KNOW IT🖤💜🤍

phis-corner

septicake

...I don’t have a cool gif to show off, but my blog is still a safe place

its-elvis-innit

!!!

#asexuality #pride month #pride #lgbt pride #ace pride #acephobia #acephobic

suggestionsoftheheart-deactivat

Soft Asks ♡

1. What's your favorite constellation?

2. Do you prefer tea,coffee or hot chocolate?

3. What's your favorite mythical creature?

4. Which type of weather do you feel most comfortable in?

5. Do you have any hobbies? If so,what?

6. Favorite fruit?

7. What's a song that makes you happy?

8. Puppies or kittens?

9. What's your favorite holiday and why? How do you celebrate it?

10. Daytime or nighttime? Which do you prefer?

11. Do you collect anything? What?

12. Museums or carnivals?

13. Hugs or kisses?

14. What's your favorite season?

15. What's a topic that fascinates you?

16. Claude Monet or Vincent Van Gogh?

17. What's your favorite book?

18. Which genre of movies/shows is your favorite to watch?

19. Who is your favorite historical figure and why?

20. Which color best represents you?

21. Do you believe in the paranormal?

22. What's your all time favorite song?

23. What's your favorite perfume scent to wear?

24. What are your religious beliefs?

25. Paintings or sculptures?

26. What's your favorite word?

27. Who do you love most in your life?

28. Do you believe in soulmates?

29. Who is your favorite fictional character?

30. What's your favorite musical?

theacequeerworld-deactivated202

Please please please🥺🥺🥺

plainwallpaper

Please send em in-

tardigraded20

Ask away

#asks game #soth posts #send asks #ask me #asks #ask memes #ask meme #fluffy suggestion #suggestion #suggestion blog #soft suggestion

this-tragic-affair

Charities/organisations to avoid:

PETA: They’d rather spend their money on publicity campaigns than on the animals in their care. PETA killed 73.8% of the animals in their care in 2015 (x)

FCKH8: Is a for-profit company that exploits oppressed groups for money. They’re also wildly uninformed, and spread misogyny, cissexism and bi/panphobia, as well as stealing their posts/designs (x)

Autism Speaks: They spend most of their money on researching a way to eliminate autism, heighten the stigma against autism and don’t have a single autistic person on their board (x)

Please support other, better charities, and feel free to add any others you can think of to this.

tequila-tekaylah

Susan G. Komen for the Cure: CEO makes insane amounts of money, they deny a lot of requests for wigs/help with treatment/etc., and have attempted to sue other charities that use the color pink as part of their anti-breast cancer campaign. ( x x x )

reproductivejusticeandliberty

The Salvation Army: They promote the hatred of LGBT+ people, work with fundamentalist Christian groups to support conservative politics and rip off and exploit workers. ( x x x )

shitpost-senpai

Wounded Warrior: They take money that should be spent on veterans and blow it on huge opulent parties for the company bigwigs. 26 million in 2014 alone wasted! ( x x x )

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

^ Important reminder to NOT waste any money donating to these groups

ayellowbirds

Reblogging because of the added info about Wounded Warrior.

arch4ngel

A good way to know if a nonprofit you’re donating to is allocating their money in the right way is to check out their Charity Navigator rating: http://www.charitynavigator.org

darkbookworm13-deactivated20240

Signal boosting, the bell ringers are out in force, and this info is too important.

yogfan14

Charity season is coming up in not even two months, so I feel like this is important to share now before it’s too late.

alloverthegaf

anyone else y’all got those clicky ankles

gaiusthegenius

Have you considered that you might be a reindeer?

alloverthegaf

did you just fucking know this

#ramblings #cursed information #reindeer #animals

bleepbloopclub

As much as this Supernatural and Destiel stuff is a completely valid reason to shit on the CW, it's also drowning out the fact that they chose to cancel Black Lightning after 4 seasons and the actors had to learn the news from Twitter

lifemodeldecoy

Being absolute fucking shit and the CW, name a more iconic duo.

fangnominous-deactivated2025101

Now that the movie theater in my hometown is closing forever, I can finally tell you all about the absolutely batshit job I had my freshman year of college.

I am 19 years old and apply to work at the local movie theater, which is owned/founded by a wannabe business tycoon baby boomer who was like a cross between Donald Trump, Danny DeVito, and Jay Gastby (the Gatsby parallel will make sense in a minute, I promise. But it’s very important to me that you know that this man looked like a Danny DeVito clone with Trump’s toupee.)

They are paying me minimum wage, which back then was about $6.50 an hour, to sweep popcorn off of the carpet with a tiny broom and occasionally hand out mints at the door at the end of movies. Our uniforms were unisex and consisted of a dark green tuxedo jacket and shirt with black bow-ties. There was also a stupid little hat but nobody actually wore them. This isn’t very important, except the uniform actually went with the interior ~design~ of the theater, which I think was supposed to look “fancy” but actually looked like the person who designs Cheesecake Factories dropped acid and got set loose in a Home Depot with an unlimited budget and no directions.

I do my job, sweeping popcorn off of the rugs, wandering the hallways, and occasionally handing out mints. We get free popcorn on break (with no butter) which at 19 I thought was the most amazing thing I ever experienced. Because I was poor, my diet probably consisted of about 80% movie theater popcorn by volume. We could also stand in the back of the theater and watch like 5 minutes of a movie if there was no popcorn left to sweep up with our little brooms.

For some reason Donald DeVito-Gatsby took a liking to me. Not in a creepy way–he just thought I was the shit for some reason. He called me “Tammy” once, which is not even close to my real name–doesn’t even have any of the actual letters of my name in it, which I think he eventually figured out was wrong, but still didn’t care enough to find out my actual name, so he just started calling me “sport” every time he saw me (which was almost daily).

He’d saunter up on his tiny legs while I was sweeping popcorn and say something like, “Doing great today, sport! Keep it up!” and clap me on my little epaulet-clad shoulder and leave. I could never figure out why I appeared to be his favorite popcorn-sweeper. It was baffling.

I have no idea what he actually did to run the theater except wander the halls, occasionally yell at the managers for letting the concession stand use too much butter, and talk about how much his tailored suits cost. Probably nothing.

He would also occasionally hire dance troops to perform Vegas-style routines at the front of the theater before big premiers. This was 1) very weird, and 2) somehow perfectly in-character with everything about this man’s personality and aesthetic.

He once had his high school reunion there, and made a mixtape of songs from the 1960s to play on a loop during the big event. They were all terrible songs, and the CD just played on a loop for years and years and years afterward because he liked it and no one could be bothered to turn it off, I guess. I think it was probably still playing on loop when the theater shut down. It is because of this that I now have a classically-trained rage response to the song “Aquarius” by the 5th Dimension.

Anyway, sometime while I was working there, he decided that what the theater really needed to keep up with the times was to knock out the end of one of the hallways and build an enormous IMAX theater with like 500 seats and it’s own dedicated concession stand that served more expensive food. We didn’t have anything like that in our town, so it was kind of a big deal.

The wall gets knocked out, and the concrete gets poured, and there is a crew working to put in all of the wiring needed for the giant speakers, etc. Donald DeVito-Gatsby is very distressed about this because he was super racist and literally scared of Mexicans, who made up most of the construction crew on-site.

Donald DeVito-Gatsby decides that I am the perfect person to “keep an eye on them” and “make sure they’re not planning anything” because somehow he thinks I speak Spanish. I do not speak Spanish. I attempted to correct him. He doesn’t believe me.

So he sets me up in the unfinished theater with my own little pink hardhat, and now my job is to sit there on an unattached memory foam IMAX seat all day and “watch them”. For what? I don’t know. I don’t think he knew, either.

The helmet is pink because, I don’t know, maybe he thought a girl would be offended by a normal hardhat? I’m not sure. Anyway, the best part of this was that he got some shiny stickers and put “IN CHARGE” on the hardhat when he sent me off into the construction zone. I was not, in fact, in charge of anything. I don’t know why he did this.

The foreman spoke English, but most of his crew didn’t, and we eventually figured out that Mr. DeVito-Gatsby had probably heard me speak Sicilian on the phone with my family and thought it was Spanish, but I still understood almost none of what was being said between the crew at the site. Over the course of about three months we developed this kind of pidgin language when he wasn’t there to translate. After figuring out that I had nothing to eat but popcorn during my shift, one of the guys started bringing me lunch, which was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me at 19.

I have no idea what Mr. DeVito-Gatsby thought these guys were going to do. He made some noise about how they were probably going to “steal something”, which would have been impossible because most of the audio equipment weighed hundreds of pounds. It apparently never occurred to him that the person most likely to steal anything would probably be the person who made the least money–which was me, making $6.50 an hour.

I didn’t actually steal anything, though. Occasionally I’d make off with an extra cup of popcorn on my break, and one time one of the concessions people felt bad for us and brought us the hotdogs they were going to throw out. Mr. DeVito-Gatsby yelled at them for it.

I literally did nothing for months. I just…sat there and took naps and played Pokemon on my Gameboy. There was literally no point in me being there at all, and I was probably in the way sometimes, but I was being paid $6.50 an hour with the owner’s approval to sit there and literally do nothing at all because he was racist.

Eventually, DeVito-Gatsby started adding stickers to my hardhat for some reason. He didn’t tell me why–I would just show up and there’d be more stickers. I would later find out that apparently he went into the equipment room and would just add a sticker whenever he felt I had done an “especially good job”, and I have no idea what that even means considering I was doing literally nothing. One day I came in and he had added “SPORT!!!” to the font in sharpie, so now my hardhat said “SPORT!!! IN CHARGE” with a bunch of random stickers. I was not, in fact, in charge of anything at all, and I don’t know what the exclamation points were for.

Months went by and the IMAX was basically finished, but neither Donald DeVito-Gatsby nor any of the managers ever showed up to reassign me, and I wasn’t going to ask about it because I Really Liked this gig where I was basically being paid to sit there and sleep and play video games all day.

One morning, I came in and the crew was finally packed up and gone, the theater was finished, and I had…nothing to do. At all. It was just… empty. When I went to find a manager to ask if I needed to go do something else, he waved me off and told me that my job was now to “babysit” the IMAX theater until they started selling tickets for the first show. Owner’s orders. OK, I said, and went to sit in the now finished IMAX theater by myself.

This went on for several weeks before my desire to see other humans finally outweighed my desire to be paid to do nothing. I asked again to be reassigned again, but nope, that was my job now. When the theater wasn’t going to be showing movies, my job was going to be to just…sit in the theater. For no reason, and just…I don’t know, stare at the blank screen.

I hung up my pink hardhat, put away my little green tuxedo jacket and went home, and never went back. No one ever called me about missing a shift. I’m not sure anyone even noticed I had left.

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Just in case anyone thought I was even remotely fucking around when I described what the interior of this neon-lit hellscape looked like, here’s a picture of the main lobby back in its heyday.