Discover Top Posts Tagged with #dad!zeus

Zeus: Hermes, you've got a lot of balls stealing my money!

Zeus: This shows leadership. I'm promoting you to management.

Hermes, lying: That's why I did it!

Ares: That's fantastic! That's why I did it too! I stole lots of your money. What do I get??

Zeus: You get zilch, because you are a follower and a thief.

#ares:#zeus #hermes #ares #dad!zeus #at it again #greek gods #greek mythology #incorrect greek gods #incorrect greek mythology #s: it's always sunny in philadelphia #queuetzalcoatl

Ares, texting Zeus: are you free rn?

Zeus, texting back: no, i'm expensive

Ares: *ragged breathing*

#AGHHH ZEUS!!!!!#ares #zeus #dad!zeus #greek gods #greek mythology #incorrect greek gods #incorrect greek mythology #s: my dad who did exactly this and my sister and i couldn't stop laughing #queuetzalcoatl #original #og

Zeus: I don't have favourites.

Artemis: Then how come Athena has an allowance?

Aphrodite: Athena gets an allowance? How come I never got one?

Athena: Because you're rich too, genius.

Loki: How come I didn't get an allowance?

Apollo: Do you even live here?

Ares: She gets an allowance? I had to pay to be here!

Hera: That was a swear jar, there is a difference.

[when Athena was a child]

Athena, in a high voice: [holding a Barbie doll] Hey, Ken, I was thinking about, you know, maybe taking the year off? Going back to school and starting my career?

Athena, in a low voice: [holding a Ken doll] Nonsense, Barbie. You're staying home and having my kids.

Zeus: Athena, what are you playing?

Athena: Systemic oppression.

#zeus: oh.#shut up yeah i know athena was born fully grown from zeus' head #but these are fake quotes #it doesn't matter #athena #greek gods #greek mythology #incorrect greek gods #incorrect greek mythology #dad!zeus #zeus #s: jontron #queuetzalcoatl

Zeus, about little Thor: How do you keep him from running away when you take him out of the house?

Odin: He likes me. He doesn't want to run away.

Zeus: Really?

Odin: Has Hephaestus ran away before?

Zeus: Yes. I make him wear one of those toddler backpacks that have a leash attached to them.

Odin: Isn't he seventeen?

Zeus: Irrelevant.

Zeus: Why the sudden interest in violin?

Hermes: Idk I just want to.

Zeus:

Zeus: Which anime character plays violin?

#oopsie #hermes #zeus #greek gods #greek mythology #incorrect greek gods #incorrect greek mythology #s: some texts #incorrect mythology #queuetzalcoatl #dad!zeus

Zeus: My beautiful son, I would cross oceans and move mountains for you. I would fly into the darkness if I knew it would make you happy.

Apollo: Okay, but can I have a dorito?

Zeus: I'm sorry but these are, unfortunately, MY doritos.

#sorry pol pol #RIP Apollo #apollo #zeus #dad!zeus #strikes again #greek gods #greek mythology #incorrect greek gods #incorrect greek mythology #s: @Mirimade (twitter)#queuetzalcoatl

Zeus: Athena, my beloved migraine, can daddy borrow your tape measure?

Athena: why do you need a tape measure?

Zeus: the grass isn’t exactly 2.3 cm tall, Odin stole my tape measure, and Thoth wont let me borrow his...

#dad!zeus

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