I'll stay with you... ( bc I love you) JavierPeñaxchubby!f!reader
A/N: Ok, I know I said this part is the last one...
And theoretically it is. If you chose non-pregnancy options. If you have chosen to be pregnant then this is the last part.
I've been having a rough day lately and I really needed something brighter. And I really believe after season three, Javier has matured and changed, so here it is: Javier as a dad.
Summary: Five years ago, you left Javier at an American airport. You refused to return to Colombia and hide pregnancy from him. Now your daughter is 4.5 years old and unexpectedly bumps into her papi.
Warnings: angst, fluff, smut, mentions of past trauma, oral sex but just a little.
*
Your daughter ran in front of you and jumped merrily. This child had boundless energy.
Guess after who?
Certainly not after you. You were tired of shopping and wanted to go home. But Mirabel begged you to take her out for ice cream.You couldn't resist the brown puppy eyes she inherited from her father.
In fact, she looked a lot like Javier. She had the same hair color, the same chin shape, same cheekbones.
God, she even laughed the same.
Only the nose and mouth she inherited from you.
You loved her. From the first moment you saw her. Not because she was Javier's daughter. Because, she was your child. And it wasn't always easy. Sometimes you missed the help of the other person when you got up in the night, but ... You weren't deceiving yourself. Even if you stayed with Javier, he'd rather go hookers than get up at night to calm down a crying baby. That's why you didn't regret anything. Well, maybe just once. When Mirabel came home from kindergarten and she crying and asked why other children had daddies and she didn't?
She was too young for to tell her the truth. So you said that her papi catches very bad people, very far away and you can't disturb him.
Fortunately, it was enough for her and she was happy again.
*
Javier was walking towards his favorite cafe when his heart stopped. Did he really see you? So many times he thought about finding you. So many times he wanted to tell you that he had changed, that he had dropped everything. Many times. But he always thought you were right to leave him. It took him a while, but he finally realized how badly he treated you. He had no right to hurt you, betray you, order you around. He didn't deserve you. And yet fate has put you in his way again. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. He barely noticed the child running in front of you. He only woke up when he saw the fear in your eyes and heard your scream:
"Mirabel!"
He rushed forward to save her.
*
You lost your head when you saw Javier walking towards you. You just stood there forgetting that your daughter was running in front of you. It has practically not changed. He was still damn handsome.
And suddenly a cyclist rode past you at high speed. Like in slow motion you saw him driving straight at your child. You were too far away to save her. Fortunately, Javier showed the reflexes acquired from years of chasing the sicario. He managed to grab the girl in his arms and jump aside.
Javier smiled at the baby in his arms.
"Are you all right, Pumpkin?"
The little one shook her head and laughed, and he had a strange feeling that he knew the sound. By this time you had already run up to them and started to look at her. She was fine. And of course she was laughing. Why not? You placed one hand on Javier's chest and began to breathe heavily. You didn't even notice you were doing it. It was instinct.
"Y/N are you okay? She's fine, really."
Mirabel looked at him in surprise.
"Do you know my mommy?"
Javier nodded and carefully set the baby down. He was still looking at you worriedly.
"Y/N, you're pale."
"I'm fine, Javier."
Your daughter picked up on his name right away.
" Jav, will you go out for ice cream with us?"
You really loved your daughter but sometimes you hated her openness to other people. Javier patted her head and replied:
"Sure Sweetpea! "
You didn't know if he agreed because he was curious about meeting you or he really worried about you.
*
Half an hour later, you watched your daughter sitting on the swing eating ice cream. Javier sat next to you on the bench and watched you closely.
"Thank you for saving her," you finally said when you were sure your voice wouldn't shake.
"It's okay. I feel it's my fault anyway. If you hadn't seen me, this wouldn't have happened."
"We don't know that. Fortunately, nothing happened. She didn't even understand how dangerous it was. She'll probably talk about it all as if it was a great adventure."
Javier really didn't want to be nosy but curiosity was eating him up. He sensed the perfect moment to ask the question that was bothering him. Did you have a husband?
"I'm sure her dad won't be happy when she tells him what happened today."
"We live alone" you said without even looking at him.
"Oh... So her father was an asshole who left you?"
You almost laughed. Javier obviously hasn't put all the facts together yet.
"Actually, I left that asshole at the airport. I figured he had more important things to do."
And then it clicked. Javier looked at Mirabel, then at you, then at the little girl again. Yeah! Age, looks and that laugh!
"That's mine daughter?"
You winced at that one specific word.
"I don't like the word "mine""
To your surprise, Javier immediately corrected himself.
"I'm her father?"
" Yes, Javier, but your part in it was very small. "
"I guess. You handled everything on your own. In fact, I shouldn't be surprised. You've always been strong."
You could hear the genuine admiration in his voice and you finally looked at him. He really looked different somehow. Like he hasn't changed. That handsome hot guy was still sitting next to you. Yet he seemed calmer, more composed, and more mature.
"What happened with you?" you asked.
"I was chasing the Cali cartel. As usual, I made a few mistakes... People died... And something finally snapped inside me. I retired. I lived with my father for a while and recently moved here. What about you?"
"I moved closer to my cousin during my pregnancy. She and her parents were very supportive. I moved here two years ago. I found a job, bought a house, and Mirabel went to kindergarten."
Javier looked at the baby again, and you saw delight fill his eyes.
"She is wonderful. I would like to get to know her better." He looked at you sadly. "Someday, if you let me..."
You felt a pang of guilt. There was a time when Javier treated you like a princess. He protected you and cared about you. He didn't deserve such suffering.
"You can drive us home."
You've never seen Javier so happy. Of course, like him, your daughter was also in heaven. You weren't even surprised when Mirabel grabbed Javier's hand and dragged him into the house to show him her bunny. You weren't surprised that she was sitting on his lap and enthusiastically telling him how to take care of Thumper. Although the truth was, you were the one taking care of that damn pet.
What really surprised you was Javier's behavior.
You never thought he would be so good with children. He was patient, gentle, and made Mirabel laugh. It was hard to believe that they had only known each other for a few hours. That's why you let him stay and read her a bedtime story. You promised yourself that as soon as Mirabel fell asleep you would tell him to disappear but Javier was standing in the doorway of the children's room and staring at the sleeping child.
"Javier, can we talk?" you whispered.
"Please give me five more minutes. I want to remember, what she looks like," he replied quietly and the despair in his voice hitting you.
"You talk as if you'll never see her again."
He finally looked at you and sighed heavily.
"And did I will see? You have power over me, Y/N. If you tell me to leave, I will. I have changed."
And you changed your mind. You couldn't just tell him to leave. You really saw that he was different. You grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the living room. You sat on the couch together.
"Do you really like that you have a daughter?"
He nodded his head and smiled slightly.
"Yes. It's just... I lost so much... Her first smile, first word, first step... First day of kindergarten."
"You are mad at me?"
"No. I'm angry but at myself." You looked at him surprised. "I know I was an asshole, Y/N. I used you and treated you like property. I never really asked what you wanted. I took everything because you gave in to me. If I had followed you at the airport then. If I had apologized for cheating... Maybe everything would look different."
"I don't think so. I think you needed time to mature."
Javier grabbed your hand.
"I want to apologize to you so much. Can I stay? If you don't want to..."
You didn't let him finish. You just jumped on him and wrapped your arms around his neck. You felt him hug you tightly and you sighed. All these years you wanted to hear that he was sorry.
"I missed you so much. You were such an asshole." You felt tears roll down your cheek. "And yet I missed you."
"I'm so sorry, cariño." You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. You had to be sure he was sincere. "You know, I have never called anyone that. I've had other women, but I couldn't say this word without imagining your face."
Javier gently wiped away your tears.
"I love you Y/N." Your heart beat harder. "I really love you. I didn't realize it until you left me."
"Well, I knew I loved you. I loved you even when I left you and... I wanted to stop, but no man could compare to you. They were kind and faithful, but none of them made me feel the way I felt around you. But you have to understand something. If you want to stay, you can never be an asshole again. No more whores, no more possessiveness, no more selfishness."
"I'm done with all this a long time ago, I swear."
You nodded your head.
"Good, because if you hurt me, I'll cut you out of my life forever. But if you hurt our daughter, I'll kill you. I'm not kidding."
"I know you're serious. Even though I only met her a few hours ago, I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt her."
You laughed and suddenly you just wanted to kiss him. And you did it. You climbed onto his lap and connected your lips in a passionate kiss. You felt his hands begin to roam your body, but he did it differently. He was less pushy than before. He was cautious, like he still wasn't sure how much you would let him?
His hands gently squeezed your thighs.
"God, I missed you so much. Your body and everything you gave me. I screwed it all up."
"You have a chance to fix it"
You got up and walked towards the bedroom, but Javier didn't move. You narrowed your eyes.
"Do you need a special invitation?"
"Are you sure?"
"Javi , I'm not a little girl. I know what I want. Come on."
He finally came over to you and cuddled up to your back.
"And Mirabel? Won't she wake up?"
"Our daughter has a very heavy sleep."
He kissed your neck and whispered:
"I like it when you say it, "our daughter""
*
When you found yourself in bed you were delighted with Javier's gentleness. Maybe you missed it a bit his old heat, but you knew there was still time for that. When his head was between your legs, you felt the old shiver. He didn't disappoint you. Within minutes he had you writhing and moaning. As you slowly came out of your orgasm, he kissed your stomach and ran his hands over your hips. When he finally kissed you lips, you could feel your juices on his tongue. He rested his forehead against yours and asked:
"You want more?"
"Are you asking if I want to feel you inside me? Who are you and what have you done with Javier? Yes, I do."
He laughed and reached for his pants, pulled out his wallet, then found a condom. You raised your eyebrows.
"I assume you don't want any more kids, just yet," he said.
"I may never want to have more."
He nodded and kissed your thigh.
"It's okay. I'll respect any decision you make."
You dug your nails into his arms as he sticked into you. You felt wonderful. You've had several men, after him, but none of them knew your body as well as Javier.
You quickly felt your second orgasm approaching.
"Javier, I..."
"Me too honey"
Later, when you hugged each other and catches breath, you felt really happy. Javier buried his nose in your hair and hugged you tightly.
"You won't smoke?" you asked.
"I quit it."
You kissed his chest. But you had to ask one more question.
"Will you be here in the morning?"
"Of course. I'll stay with you because I love you. I'll be here as long as you let me."
You snuggled closer to him and fell asleep.
*
You woke up in the morning refreshed and happy. Javier wasn't next to you, and when you looked at your watch, you became concerned. Normally, your daughter should be jumping over you, by now. You stand up quickly, and as you left the bedroom, you immediately smelled delicious smells coming from the kitchen. As you got closer, you heard your baby's laugh. You silently stood on the doorstep and your heart melted.
Javier was standing by the stove with Mirabel settled on his hip. The little girl laughed and poured pancake batter into the pan, and he praised her. Although even from a distance you were able to see that pancakes have various shapes and none of them are round.
"Chef Mirabel, should I turn the pancake?"
Your daughter tilted her head slightly. She was clearly a chef and took her position very seriously.
"Hmm... Yes!"
You couldn't help it anymore and laughed. This, of course, drew their attention to you. Javier had to be very dexterous not to drop Mirabel when she suddenly turned to you.
"Mommy, we're making pancakes!"
"Yes, I see darling."
You moved closer and kissed her cheek. You wanted to take her in your arms, but she wasn't going to let go of Javier. "As if she knew", you thought. Javier gave you a quick kiss on the lips and focused on not burning the pancake. You pulled back and watched them finish making breakfast. When the last pancake was taken out of the pan, your daughter looked at you and asked:
" Can Jav stay with us? Will he be my uncle?"
You bit your lip. Two pairs of brown puppy eyes stared at you with hopefully. You couldn't break their hearts. You made a decision.
"Actually, Javier is your papi and he will staying with us."
Your daughter's eyes widened and then she began bouncing happily in Javier's arms.
" Papi! Papi!" she screamed and covered his face with her little hands. "You don't have to catch bad people anymore?"
"No," he choked out and hugged her tightly.
Javier looked so happy, like you just gave him a star from sky. He looked at you gratefully and whispered:
"Thank you."
You knew everything would be fine. The love in his eyes made you sure of it.
And maybe even one day, you'll let him say "mine" again. If he says it again as a declaration of love and a promise to never hurt you again.
*
When I was young, before we begun I never thought we all had someone
I took your breath but you took the rest
I promised you always a place on my chest
Sometimes the love, the love of your life Can make you feel weak, too tired to fight But I'm trying my best to look in your eyes 'Cause tears never age and years never die, die
But sometimes the love that you feel is just making it worse When I'm disappointing you, we both end up hurt
So I left a note on our bathroom mirror If you ever forget that you love me
*Isak Danielson - If You Ever Forget That You Love Me
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
