#dad konig

[konigsblog]

Dad!König will find himself distracted by the kid channels that his toddler daughter watches, with his eyes glued to the TV. He gets too invested in some episodes, having to deny that he was watching when you accuse him with a playful grin on your face.

[gremlinmodeshrew]

Goblin Mode Daddy König

I’m gonna be honest folks, König doesn’t stop being a goblin when he has kids. He’s a good dad, don’t get me wrong, but he’s a bit of a nightmare.

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Thankfully, König is a good father and husband. He’ll clean up after the little ones, he’ll take shifts when caring for them (especially in the first year), he’ll go so far as to take a weekend to be with the kids so you can rest. He does expect you to pull your weight, kids are a choice and a lifestyle when you have them. He wants you to care for them as a good parent would.

However, there are times where König is a little… Curious with children. Not in a bad way, in more a ‘Bro you’re kinduva dick’ sort of way. Not malicious to a point of harming a child, no never. But he’s a dick.

So, when König goes on walks with his kids he’ll put them up on his shoulders if they get tired. He really wants them to love nature as much as he does, of course! He wants them to love the woods and forests and to embrace the world around them. This also means he takes them tent camping and when they complain about not having anything to do he’ll tell them to find ways to entertain themselves. He won’t keep them busy all the time; they need to learn what to do with themselves when they have freetime. This also means that when they come up asking him to entertain them when he’s napping, he’ll wake up, grunt, then turn over and go back to bed. They’ll learn that bothering dad when napping typically doesn’t go well.

The other delight of König is when he’s playing games with them. He’s determined to teach them self defense. It’s very important! What he doesn’t expect is for his kids to get in trouble at school for using some of these techniques on their bullies. He’s not mad, just a bit sheepish when he’s called in and has to explain that no, they didn’t do it out of nowhere, actually he has been the one teaching them self defense so, you know, sorry about that.

König is great when watching kids. It’s just that he does it in his own way. He’ll actively involve them in what he’s doing. This means that his kids watch horror movies wayyyyy too early. They also learn to curse far too early for your liking. At least he teaches them to be responsible with it, but still. C’mon man. He at least does turn it off and care for them if it’s too scary. He’s not a monster, just sometimes a bit oblivious.

He’s also very intent on ensuring a good education. His children fear not the sandal, but the pen and paper as he forces them to write paragraphs about why kicking their dad is a bad idea. He’ll lecture them too, of course, but he does take delight in pushing education into every avenue in life. Yes, this means that you’ll sometimes stop on a trail and get a half hour lecture on how to use a flower in stews and herbal remedies. His children are begging him to stop but he’s insisting that they learn.

Unfortunately, this leads to smart kids, and smart kids know how to be sneaky and how to mouth off. Unfortunately for them, König is better in both areas. He can be downright snarky with his kids. He’s blunt and straightforward and also determined to remind that no, they cannot say whatever they like whenever, they need to learn their manners first.

Now, the true goblin nature of König comes out with food. He’s a nightmare with food. He was before having kids, he will be after. It’s just now he has new targets.

When his kids get cookies, they will inevitably make the horrible mistake of offering a bite to their father. Just a little one, but they want to share! Sharing is good! Sharing is not so good when your father devours your entire cookie with a smile. He just eats the whole thing. There is no sharing food with daddy König. He’s König the Devourer and his children aren’t immune to his ways.

Sometimes, one of his kids will offer him a lick of icecream. He proceeds to take the cone and then refuses to give it back until there’s naught but a napkin left. His children learn the meaning of the word ‘betrayal’ at a terribly early age. Perfidy will haunt their every memory involving their father and food.

I cannot stress the shock on König’s face when he steals his toddler’s cookie and then gets slapped.

This leads to playfighting. König is surprisingly gentle and good with playfighting. He’s good at falling in such a way where he doesn’t hit the kid behind him in the process. He’s actually quite good at avoiding accidents entirely. Part of it is being hyper-vigilant as a colonel, part of it is just that König really cares about his kids. This said, he won’t always stop an accident if he thinks it’s a good learning opportunity. If his kid runs into a sliding glass door, that’s a great learning opportunity. Again, he’s a bit of a dick.

He’s especially a dick when being introduced to his kid’s friends. König is a big, big man. Being five and meeting your friend’s dad is always scary, but when said friend’s dad is König? Oh good lord it’s terrifying. König used to try to ease kids into his presence but now he just accepts they’ll be terrified of him.

Now before I go into the next antic, I want to make something clear. König is a very quiet man. Extremely quiet. However, when his children make a mess, he doesn’t always want to go upstairs and knock on their door. Being in the military and having a big body gives him a nice big voice, and he’s more than happy to shout for his kids to come downstairs for something. Sometimes, he’ll yell about something but he’s not actually that mad about it. As I’ve said before, König would never yell at his kids with all his energy. He might raise his voice when he’s particularly strained, but he avoids yelling (in anger) as much as possible.

However, when yelling for his kid to come pick up their toys, imagine his horror when his son comes down and then another kid comes following behind. Oh König has so much explaining to do. He didn’t realize the play date was today, not now at least. He’s mortified that he just yelled at the top of his lungs and nearly made a child soil their pants. He has to get down low and really help calm the kid down with cookies and milk to make sure the kid won’t pass out. He has so much explaining to do when the kid’s mom comes to pick him up. It’s a genuine nightmare for König. He probably tried to ask you to deal with it for him but sometimes you gotta face the consequences of your own actions. König learns this the hard way.

König is good with other kids, but sometimes when he slams a door too hard or yells when he stubs his toe, visiting friends can get the willies spooked out of them. He always tries to apologize, but there’s so much you can do to calm someone down when you’re big and covered in scars (or worse, wearing a hood).

König isn’t a perfect father by any means, but the thing that matters most is that he always loves his kids. He always emphasizes how much he cares about them to you and to them in particular. He’s good at keeping his cool when things get heated and he’s great at getting to them on their level. He really does love his children above all else. His family is the most important thing in the world to him. He’s determined to shower them with love and affection. He’s strict about education and helping them get ahead in school, and he’s insistent that they are good kids and not spoiled brats, but he won’t ever hit his kids. He’ll never scream at them and call them names. He might grunt and make sarcastic comments, but he won’t ever hurt his child.

Or at least you say that until he accidentally sits on one and they both scream.

Konig Dump

Headcanons

[katz-chow]

as many of you know, i don’t really like konig. so i present to you this: tw, implied death

deadbeat dad!konig, a widower who spends his days drinking, hooking up, and working 12 hours a day night shifts to “provide for his kid” but also get away from her because she looks too much like his dead wife. he never thought he’ll settle down and when he did, his worst fears came true, and so did the past he was trying to escape

even with military pension and disability checks, it’s not enough so he keeps working. and his daughter keeps getting ignored “for good reasons”.

at 10, she stayed after school for hours before konig remembered he had to pick her up.

at 16, she got rear ended and konig was too drunk to get her. she cried until she the police came and they called her teacher to come get her.

things only started to change when you rushed into the house, finding your ass of a dad on his recliner, a beer in his hand. the papers in your hand splashed onto his lap.

“what the fuck?” he responded, gathering the papers and throwing at your face.

“i’m leaving for basic training in a month”

he looked furious. “no you’re not”

“yes i am. i’m going to find a fucking a family there, a real one.”

he looked at you as if you just poured cold water over him while he was asleep. he couldn’t believe it. “no you’re not.”

“i am. i signed. i leave in a month.”

he grumbled but looked away at you, not having enough courage to beg you to stay, beg you to stay right where he could protect you from the world that took your mother. he didn’t have the courage to say two simple words even as his chest tightened and his breathing staggered as you started packing in your room.

when the day came shortly after, he drove you to the airport. and to his surprised, he couldn’t control his own body as it took your bag out of the car and walked you to the gate. you look at him, almost waiting for him to fix things at the last minute.

he looked at you, thinking if he was just a bit more of a better man, this wouldn’t be how you say goodbye.

“i love you, mein liebling.”

you frown as tears fall from your face. “i love you too dad.”

…

“i’m sorry.” he whispered as a thumb caressed your dogtags

[valerieisunavailable]

Imagine Single Dad König having to be gone for like a month or more from his daughter because of a mission. He absolutely doesn't trust any babysitters because of his role in the military, and because he just doesn't trust a random person with his Liebling in the first place. But he doesn't have anyone to watch her. So he has her being watched by someone in the barracks.

Cue the soldiers goofing off with her and getting her into shenanigans, and then König goes into a fit of rage. He had strict rules for his soldiers with his daughter while he was gone, and they didn't follow them. "What do you mean, she was in the armory?! I thought I specifically told you to not let her inside any of those rooms. Only the hallways and dorms." And if she was injured in the slightest, no matter how minor, he would kill that soldier.

[gremlinmodeshrew]

König would be a good dad. He'd also be a good human jungle gym. The two points are not exclusive.