#daddyjokes

[doctordaddysir]

I haven't been doing a lot of writing lately so I did a quick poem:

I dig

he digs

she digs

She digs

I dig

he digs

We all dig

I realize it's not very good but it's pretty deep

[pandaisalwaysinlove]

Blackout aka hide and seek, BTS?

Summary: Getting bored isn’t one of things you go through, when you are girlfriend  to one of BTS members and friend to all other. But what if the electricity is done and the night is still young? Sure nothing ordinary.

Y/N = your name

Genre: fanfiction, bts  x reader

Warning: /

Rating: /

A/N: are we ready for BTS marathon? (kinda) nevermind, this is high speed train, you can’t get off, when you’re on

“D’ya want something to eat?” you asked.

But they didn’t listen. Actually, they didn’t even acknowledged your presence. 

They were all sitting on the sofa, like birds on pole. Jimin, Hoseok, Jungkook and of course your boyfriend, Jin. When it came to playing games with hyungs, even you took the second place. Not that you really cared. At least you had time to do your things. 

They were all playing  Mortal Combat. In teams they tried to get better position. Jungkook and Jimin were loosing. It wasn’t really clever to interrupt them. Immediately, when they realized, that someone talked, they started to fight. 

“Stob it!” 

“Touch your own!”

“Shut up!”

“Jimin, stop putting it here..” 

“Did you want something?”

“He pushed me!”

You backed from the living room and started to make your snack. For another hour or two there isn’t chance of converstation with them. If they would let you play too, at least. But no no. Unfortunately, kai bai bo played really important role in decisions here. And you weren’t given the reading mind like they shared. Usually it was you or Jin, who lost and had to wash the dish, to takeout the trash, wait for shower  or not play Mortal Combat.

Between buttering one part of toast and chopping the radish, Tae sneaky appeared in the kitchen. He had is  robe, his shoulders hid his head and he looked to the ground. Opening the fridge, he stared into its throat. 

“Are you calling your home planet?” 

“I’d have to sleep in that fridge to call my home planet.” he mummed and sat on the kithcen unit. 

He observed how the toaster is roasting the toast and sighed “I feel like a dead cat.” 

Your laughter made him smile too. He looked at you and wait. 

“You know how dead cat feels?” 

“Like me.”

Before you could respond, the lights went off and the radio stopped playing. Second after the whole house was filled with yelling and scream. 

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“Ouch, that’s my foot!”

“amjoon, you’d better fix this, before I fix you!”

“This is not funny!”

“Jin, stop behaving like a child!”

“Yoongi, where are you?”

“You’re sitting on me.”

Tae next to you jumped off the unit and for a while opened and closed cupboards. Then he found a candle and lighter. Kitchen shined with warm light. 

“So let’s see who shit in his pants now..” he went to the corridor. You touched the walls not to fall down. When you reached the living room, there was more light like everyone was waving around with their phones. 

“Where are you, (Y/N)?” you heard Jin and then you felt his hand finding your waist, pushing you to him “I thought you turned on the dish washer and toaster at the same time again..” and slightly kissed you on the cheek. 

“No, it wasn’t me.” 

It accured more light when entered Namjoon and Suga.

“What is this again?” sighed Yoongi and sat on the sofa. 

“It wasn’t us, it’s in the whole street..” mentioned Jungkook, who looked out of the window. Jimin leaned on his back and lookedout too, nodding “He’s right, it’s all around us..” 

“APOCALYPSE!!!” shouted Tae from above, as he lightened the candles all over the house.

“You’re apocalypse too.. it’s just blackout, it’s gonna be okay soon..” said Hoseok with optimism and sat down next to Yoongi.

Jin behind you sighed “Oh we had so good game now...” he pushed his lips towards your ear and whispered “But I can think of things we can do now..” 

“So what now?” asked Namjon.

Jin resouned gain “I’d know..” 

“I want to tell you something abou my toe..” tweaked your sleeve Hoseok to interrupt your conversation.

“I don’t want to hear about your toe...” 

“I don’t want you to listen it, just touch it..” your hand was  steered down “it’s swollen, isn’t it? It’s swollen..” you cringed.  

“Ohkaay.. what now?” 

“I’d listen about the toe..” 

“Me too..”

“Don’t be so bad to him, (Y/N), the toe is all he’s got..”

Between laughter and shouting, light appeared in the corridor as Tae walked in. He looked like proper Dracula with his long robe, candle and expressionless face. He looked around and coughed “Hey I have an idea..” he grinned “Let’s play hide and seek.” 

Debate went on. 

Yes - but where? Only the basement or the rooms too? Can you hide in the rooms? Who’s gonna count? Why should be Tae the judge, there’s nothing to judge.

“We can decide the only way..” started Namjoon and got up. Everyone else started to gather around to do kai bai bo. 

“Oh you forget about that!” you interrupted them “No, absolutely not! I’m not gonna play this with you again.” you turned and brought toothpicks from the table.  “How can I know that you broke one properly?” 

You reached the hand towards them and they took their draw. Last one to pick was Jin. Not one drawed the broken one. They burst into laugher. 

“Alright, I don’t know how you do it, but you’re gonna end up in hell..” 

Jin patted your shoulder “You’re gonna win over Yoongi, for sure..” 

The counting place was set up on the corner of kitchen and living room.  “Alright.. ten, twenty, thirty...” 

You heard low sounds of footsteps, arguing and running. Soon after it faded away. Seven boys, hidding in the house counting fiveteen rooms. Who came up with this stupid idea again? 

After one hundert you looked around the room. But how. All phones were gone and the only light in the room was candle. It was set up that during play no one uses the phone or any kind of light. Your eyes slowly used to the dark. 

Where would they go? Quietly you searched in the living rom. No one. Look on the stairs. So dark. Behind you there was slow movement. And then you run. Loud sound of something breaking. Soon after you run Namjoon.

“Shiiiit...” he sighed when he catched his breath. 

“What did you broke now?” you laughed quietly. 

“Vase..”

You left him in the living room. Okay, you’re not gonna loose. There was quiet in the house. And no one else in the hall. You stood in the middle of the stairs and listen. Nothing. You reached the second floor. Something sounded down there. You run the stairs thoughtlesly.

“WHAT?! HOW?!” you yelled, when there was Jungkook, Tae and Jin with Jimin standing in the living room, chuckling at you. Jin pointed at the stairs “Better to search again, babe..” he winked at you. 

Then it wasn’t so hard. Yoongi was in the bath and was too slow to run before you. Hoseok’s foot stucked between the wardrobe and table and he couldn’t get out. 

“Okay, so now is Namjoon’s turn...” said Tae, when you all gathered in living room. 

“How..” 

“Who else would break the vase..” 

“Good point..” 

“Okay, you’d better get out..” warned you Namjoon and sarted to count.

You all pushed yourselves in the corridor, who’s gonna hide in the best place - behind the doors of the bathroom and the rest had to run to the second floor. You and Jin had the same idea to hide in the guest’s room. Actually now it was your room.

“No way!” whispered Jin and pushed you from the bed. You hid behind the curtains. 

“Eighty.. ninety..” sounded from the basement.

“Why do you have a duck in your bag?” whispered Jinsuddenly.

“Why do you think you can hide in my bag?” 

“Well I can not now!”

“Oh shut up already!”

After two minutes there were steps on the floor, reaching to the oposite side of the corridor. Namjoon’s scream and footsteps. Someone run down.

You took the chance and slowly got to the stairs. Jungkook too changed his position and now you two looked behind the corners and went donw. 

Namjoon was in the kitchen. Before he could react, you and Jungkook touched the corner and high fived. 

There was already Jimin and Hoseok. 

Namjoon slowly sweared and went to the stairs again. There he shrinked with Jin and with laughter run towards the corner. Apparently Jin was up just to find out why you have a rubber duck in your bag. 

“Oh my gaawd...” 

“Do you want to know, where’s Tae?” aked Jin and sat down next to you.He probably tought thathe can corrupt Namjoon with spy information.

“No.”

“He’s hiddng behind the sofa.” 

“Good thing, I didn’t ask for your opinion.” said Namjoon and returned to the stairs. 

“Well you should have..” whispered V behind the sofa and slowly walked to the corner. Then he looked on you all, grinned and petted the wall. 

Jin reached your hand and fondled your knee. 

“Hey, I was thinking..” he said quietly.

“Yes, I thought I smelled something burning..” 

Jimin next to you busted into laughter.

Jin smiled but continued “Nice.. do you know, what’s Forrest’s password? ..........1forrest1” 

[revysunny]

When spideypool becomes real will Spidey call Deadpool then daddy or deady?

[owsobear]

Guess who's back in Qatar! #DaddyJokes #PamilyaCruz #TatayBirthdayTravel #RaisingCaliAndLana #FromPacitaToDoha #SeniorBakasyonistas (at Hamad International Airport) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClEW-N8qj50/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[celebriscents]

Happy Father’s Day to all you Rock Star Dads! 🍺 📺 May your day be filled with joy with your children. 😃 #fathersday #fatherhood #fatherdaygift #daddyjokes #daddy https://www.instagram.com/p/CQVtlULAfFR/?utm_medium=tumblr

[palumbios-blog]

Yusef Roach

“It’s been a while!” - Staind

Hello, everybody! I haven’t written a bio in a while, but I just so happened to be wiping out my “message requests” and found something from none other than Yusef Roach! Yusef and I aren’t friends and I don’t think about him very much, but I wrote it anyway! Here ya go!

[subsilence]

Me: Kin, knock knock. Kin: Who's there? Me: Akomaba Kin: Akomaba who? Me & Kin: 😂😂😂 #SmileLangLagi #DaddyJokes