Having your dæmon actually exist outside your body is such a strange experience. Fallon isn’t corporeal like dæmons are in Lyra’s world, but she still has a presence and takes up space. It’s hard to describe but I can faintly feel her against my skin like how you might feel a breeze.
I naturally leave doors open for a second longer than needed now. When in the passenger seat of a car I sit weirdly so she can “fit” by my feet even though it can be uncomfortable with my chronic pain. I’m currently laying in bed curled up slightly so she isn’t against the wall, since I’m not at home where my bed is much larger.
I know I don’t need to do any of these things but I just do. I started doing it one day and it made sense so I kept doing it. I didn’t even notice I was doing it at first. I just treat it as if she’s truly corporeal.
Hello all, my name is Nick. I haven’t written a pinned post in a while so I figured it was the right thing to do.
First off, I’d like to say what this blog is for. It is mainly to educate those on Daemointus (a term coined by my boyfriend, see @alethiosr pinned for information), and to share my experiences as a fictionkin, therian and soulbonder. I am a western occultist who doesn’t know much about occultism, but I’m learning steadily. I practice witchcraft and am hoping to practice werewolf magic, with some of my beliefs stemming from buddhism, taoism, hellenism, and more. I am developing my own religion based off of mine and my boyfriend’s beliefs.
I am recently soulbonded to Madarame Kei from Slow Damage (he/him), and I have a daemon named Epsilon (he/him). I believe everyone has a daemon and that it is not an exclusive experience. I don’t wish to be referred to as a daemon handler nor a daemonist, but I may use their hashtags for reach.
I may or may not speak about my experiences as a plural person. I am pro-endo and pro-willo, and am mixed origin myself.
Are you interested in learning? Have you read His Dark Materials and seen it as more than a children's book? Do you feel like the messages within it speak to you on a deeper level? Then you may be perfect within the Fellowship of Pullmetic Faith and Restoration of Truth.
We're looking for people who have a drive to discover and preserve the truth of this world and many others. If you feel that this is you, we'd be happy to have you.
We are open and inclusive to all, even if you are considered "weird" or "strange". We within the fellowship value uniqueness. Whether it is your identity, your beliefs, a trait you have, or anything else; we have no judgement and welcome you. (People who display bigotry or partake in behavior that is harmful are an exception.)
The Fellowship of Pullmetic Faith and the Restoration of Truth is a religious, esoteric, and quasi-occult order that is highly based on Phil
Currently on a plane as of writing this, though this will be posted later. Something I had barely considered before was just how different mundane things would have to be in a world where dæmons are naturally outside of the body in a corporeal form. As I’ve been working more with my own dæmon and perceive her more solidly outside of me I’ve found many situations are inconvenient at best.
My dæmon settled as a Canadian Lynx, which is not a small cat whatsoever. I wouldn’t change a thing about her but things would definitely be easier if she was smaller. Right now she has to lay in the middle of the plane’s aisle because there’s barely any space by my feet even with an empty seat next to me. This sort of packed space is a huge pain and something I can’t see working for most people.
The airships in Lyra’s world are definitely better suited for dæmons, with them being less crowded and more spacious overall. I’d much prefer to fly in one of those. If Fallon were corporeal we probably couldn’t fly in a plane at all unless given some sort of accommodations. We really don’t like being more than a couple feet away from each other either so there’s not many options.
Everything in this world is just a little too crowded and a little too narrow I’ve noticed. it’s just somewhat annoying to me but would be a complete mess if my dæmon was corporeal.
Later additions:
I ended up completely forgetting about this post until I was on my way back but my annoyance only grew during the trip. The rental car we had didn’t have enough space in front of the passenger seat, which is where Fallon normally sits, so she had to sit in the back instead. I’m back on the plane and while I love the window seat it means there’s absolutely no space whatsoever for her. If people flew in a plane like this in Lyra’s world everyone with large dæmons would have to basically carry them in their arms and people would constantly be bumping into each other’s dæmons.
If Fallon were corporeal I’d probably have to be given special accommodations to even somewhat comfortable on a plane. I’d have to sit in the very back or up in first class like many service dog teams have to, and flight crew would need a briefing on it(assuming I was the only one) to ensure they act appropriately. Even though corporeal dæmons are one of my biggest dreams I can’t imagine anyone with a large dæmon being comfortable in this world that way.
The one benefit of this world is dæmons not being naturally corporeal means they don’t have to abide by typical spacial rules. If a door is shut right behind me Fallon doesn’t get stuck, for example. She often does comply with spacial rules and feels solid, but she’s not actually bound to them.
A 785 word essay on those who deny the existence of their dæmon or otherwise reject them despite being aware of them. Inspired by my recent read of Serpentine by Philip Pullman.
I think the scariest thing in His Dark Materials(+ The Book of Dust and its companion books) for me has always been any time people reject their dæmons. I’m rarely scared or unsettled by fiction but even thinking about it scares me so badly I can barely even describe the fear.
Even before I started really studying daemons and came to the conclusion they must be real, it terrified and saddened me. How could you be given the gift of knowing this part of yourself and cast it away? How could you reject the one person always by your side since birth? To hate yourself so fully that you’d rather live half a life sounds like a horrible thing.
The most terrifying characters and institutions to me have always been the ones advocating this denial of the self. The General Oblation Board may kidnap children and often kill them but it’s the intercision itself that scared me more than anything else. Simon Talbot with his book The Constant Deceiver scared me so badly I honestly don’t want to ever reread those parts of The Secret Commonwealth.
My dæmon is my closest companion and friend, the most cherished part of myself. I can’t imagine ever being apart from her and it’s one of my biggest fears. I fear death not because of what may happen afterwards but because she’d be gone while I’d remain. It’s a type of loneliness I can’t even fathom. We are rarely more than a few feet apart because being any farther from each other feels wrong. My life has improved for the better after learning about her and meeting her properly.
Now I do think there’s a difference between thinking “dæmons aren’t real” when you have no personal evidence for their existence versus thinking it when you do. To be aware of your dæmon yet deny their existence is what I truly find alarming, not when you act under the assumption that they’re imaginary. Most people in most worlds are kept in a state of unawareness for one reason or another, and that is perfectly fine.
But if someone came up to me and said “I know my dæmon but I want nothing to do with them”, I’d be truly horrified. I can understand not liking or understanding certain things about your dæmon, even though I love everything about mine, but that’s different than complete rejection. Your dæmon is a part of you that you cannot ever live without. It’s like trying to take your heart out of your chest and expecting to survive without it. And unlike the heart you can’t get a transplant or have a machine perform the same job.
In Lyra’s world I would most likely be an outlier for holding this opinion. It appears that a lot of people there are more like Mrs. Coulter and the General Oblation Board or Simon Talbot, even if less extreme. Otherwise, people of the sort wouldn’t be nearly so influential and couldn’t do so much harm. There’s even people like Gerard Bonneville who brutally abuse their dæmon for one reason or another; though it all boils down to self-loathing, shame, disgust, and fear.
I think a lot of people in this world who are unaware of their dæmon and say they “want a dæmon of their own”, not knowing they already have one, would fall into this trap without realizing it. Most people are full of negative perception aimed at the self, and a dæmon partially serves as a reflection of the self. It only makes sense that if you hate yourself you’d end up hating your dæmon to some capacity.
I myself have many qualities that I hate about myself, but I still accept them as part of who I am. My first proper conversation with my dæmon felt like speaking with a version of myself because that’s sort of what it is. She taught me more about who I am and helped me find acceptance even for traits that scared or disgusted me. I spent two years desperately trying to understand and speak with her and realized I couldn’t love her without loving myself. I’m prouder and happier because of my search for her.
Even if you don’t believe in the existence of dæmons, I think they’re a valuable lesson in self-love, self-discovery, and self-acceptance. You cannot be you without them, and you mustn’t try to live half a life. You should accept who you are regardless of how you see your individual qualities both good and bad. To those who do believe and dæmons, make sure they know how much you love and cherish them. Even if you can’t speak to them yet, tell them anyways.
I got a necklace for my daemon that she helped pick out arriving in two days. For months I’ve wanted something physical to attribute to her since she isn’t in the physical world, but couldn’t find anything that truly fits her. When I receive it I’ll reblog with a photo because I’m very proud of our choice.
I still think it’s a great shame our daemons aren’t naturally like in Lyra’s world, but things like this help keep them close. Maybe someday I’ll learn how to keep Fallon in a heavier, more tangible shape but it’ll probably be years from now.
There’s something so strange about having your own religion, one where you make the rules and doctrine. I can make up basically anything I want but there’s still a higher thing involved in the creation process. I have freedom to do what I like with it but at the same time I’m being guided and told what I need to do.
It’s even weirder having your religion be based almost entirely off of a fantasy series, instead of something more “valid”. I’ve been told in the past that it was a strange idea and probably wouldn’t catch on, and I understand why. I don’t consider myself a pop culture pagan or use similar terms, because to me it’s more than that. But there is no shame to using those terms.
His Dark Materials is as real to me as the Bible is to a Christian. I don’t know how literally or figuratively to take it yet, but I do take it seriously. My own experiences as well as the experiences of others have been enough to convince me I need to take it seriously. I have a daemon, I am guided by Dust, I’ve made dozens of connections that make no sense if it’s simply a fantasy story and nothing more. I have multiple journals full of notes from the last two years. It is real to me.
I don’t know where my journey will take me. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a proper group of people believing in what I say, but either way I believe. I believe so strongly that I’d die for my beliefs if I had to. I’m confident that years from now I’ll still believe in this, and my belief will not falter.
As I am of the Republic of Heaven, and I believe in truth. I believe in experience and knowledge and love and freedom.
