On the note of "I don't think this is feminists fault for being too mean" it's crazy how many people have kind of forgotten the history of Leftist Youtubers and how they were treated if they said nice things about women?
Like if you're an Hbomberguy fan who knows him from his Gaming Videos, you'd probably be surprised to hear that he actually got his start with Feminist vlogging and defending feminists from insane hatemobs online—and the men who came after him were actually pretty vicious in their harassment against him, calling him all kinds of names online and making tons of videos about him being genetically inferior.
Dan Olsen—of Folding Ideas—also was bullied out his job, doxxed, and accused of being a child predator because he made a video about online anti-feminists. They harassed him, his employer, and his friends for weeks.
Like, these are two white cis guys who just made videos like "Hey I think harassing women is wrong," and didn't say anything about "I hate men" or "being a man is bad" and yet somehow that showed up in a lot of their critics rhetoric—particularly with how the two of them were called disgraces to masculinity.
Like, IDK, to me it kinda seems like this isn't really about men feeling alienated by anti-male rhetoric, and is more about men feeling alienated by any criticism of patriarchal values and misogynist ideals.