#dangender

[diphowell]

When Dan gets so happy about seeing his feminine side that he just starts laughing.

[gerardwaysbob]

you've come a long way dan :')

[syncedpheriods]

having thoughts and feelings!!

[phanbeats]

I have some thoughts about dangender I'd like to share.

Firstly, I would like to acknowledge that a lot of the people who have been pushing for a dangender reveal are either trans themselves or know at least one trans person, and they've seen or felt how incredible it feels to come out and be who you are. People want to see others embracing the joy of accepting themselves, and that's valid! But assuming you know how someone else feels better than they themselves do is not cool. Dan has said multiple times that he knows who he is and he is comfortable with his gender identity, and that's amazing, and that should be enough. Let him dress however he likes without any expectations.

It takes SO MUCH COURAGE to go against the grain and wear something that society considers unusual, and when you wear something new and you're immediately interrogated about why you're wearing it and what it means for your identity, you are probably not going to wear it again. Don't ask; if there's anything for them to discover, let them figure it out on their own. It's rude and awful to speculate or to out them before they're ready, even to themselves.

When you see someone wearing "feminine" clothing or painting their nails and your immediate assumption is that they're not a man, you are enforcing the gender binary. skirts and dresses and high heels and makeup do not make a man less of a man. It's just fabric and shoes and chemicals. When you assume that a man wearing something feminine isn't a man, you make it harder for men (and trans women!!!!) to explore femininity safely, without expectations or commitments. If a man chooses never to try wearing skirts or makeup because he is scared others will make assumptions, he is never going to find out that he likes the way they make him feel, and isn't that sad? To miss out on something that would bring you joy because you never felt like you were allowed to try it without judgement.

It's worth asking yourself why you want Dan to be trans so badly. Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of a man exploring femininity without sacrificing his masculinity? Why is that? You want him to be happy, but why are you so sure this will make him happy, when he's already told us he's comfortable identifying as a man even though he feels more like a formless blob inside? I can relate to that, as an agender person, but if i wasn't dysphoric living as a woman I would never have transitioned, and there's nothing wrong with that. You're allowed to decide you don't care, you don't have to do anything about it, and you absolutely do not have to label yourself. Dan has stated multiple times that he prefers ambiguity; let him be whatever he wants to be in peace.

I'm not going to get into how harmful speculation can be. The Phandom has already experienced that in regards to their sexualities and relationship. Just let them be. Enjoy the things they share with us, and let that be enough. Isn't it beautiful enough that he feels comfortable dressing this way and letting us see him like this? Don't ruin it by speculating.

[gamora-borealis]

my main thing to say about dangender is people who talk about it mostly are not assuming dan is maybe not cis because of him doing "feminine" stuff. That's normal gnc gay stuff imo and I'm glad that Dan is comfortable leaning into that as someone who identifies a gay man! (because not even all gay men are comfortable being gnc and sometimes that's because of internalized hatred of it). It's more so that dan has said he is a "formless blob" who is currently comfortable being perceived as a man who uses any pronouns and has stated multiple times over the years that he sometimes wishes he was a girl, that he could make entire video about gender but isn't ready, and that when he plays with gender sometimes he seems to get a kind of euphoria that we rarely see out of them. And I'm not even saying the femboy thing was fully that because some of it was really just dani snot fire doing it for the meme and having fun with general gnc stuff (like how he started talking in a super low voice as a joke) and being slutty. But as long as we aren't harassing Dan about it, I don't think it's weird as queer and trans folks to discuss stuff he's openly talked about on our own blogs (the same as it was always fine to talk about phan or them being queer in our own space, just not being in their face about it or stalking them). And comparing Dan to nonbinary people (who can still also be gay men!) or trans women is not going to force them to change, and probably should just be seen as an extension of their trans audience seeing themselves in Dan, which can still be valid even if Dan fully identified as cis! And dnp love their trans audience, I don't think they care if we project on them (they've talked about the biggest example of that with Dan being the transmasc icon). There's even a whole aspect of this that sometimes Dan isn't even fully comfortable being gnc sometimes and said that's because of the bullying in his childhood (which was all about him being gay or potentially gay), and at the very least I'm hoping that the love of his queer and trans audience helps him feel comfortable even just. Dressing however the fuck she wants and having fun. Because I kind of think that regardless of identity, Dan seems like they want to wear skirts and makeup more (based on some stuff he's said) and has been kind of nervous about doing so publicly outside of costumes. I hope that changes!

[andibecameaphannieovernight]

and it WAS worse than sister daniel and demon phil.

[freckliedan]

question on my mind today for my fellow not transfem dan gender posters: we are all having fun posting about dan, gender, and how hot it is when dan embraces femininity.

but are you making sure to show up for & make this fandom safe for our transfem sisters too? are you supporting transfeminism or are you falling into fetishization?

thinking dan's fem personas/outfits are hot & throwing in some she/hers to your posting does not automatically make you into someone who's interrogated your ingrained biases. nothing magically makes you safe for transfems to be in community with, so put in the effort to make sure you are!

be as thoughtful and kind and steadfast in commitment to fight transmisogyny as you can be. the phandom can be a beautiful and welcoming place and you can be a part of making sure that's true for everyone.

[phormspring]

did phil they/them dan here or am i losing my mind????