it really does just bring me to my knees how defiant they were in a way when it comes to having been closeted for so long and terrified of speculation and homophobia and still pushing beds together and phil’s boncas moment and the way they still showed so much love for each other in videos and you can say oh well they just couldn’t help it or oh they were young and “didn’t know better” but they knew better than i’d say anyone ever and even if it did spring from a love and enjoyment of the other one that was hard to contain or limit, it was still moment after moment of choices made for 16 years.
like dan has said, he hadn’t exactly been subtle, and neither had phil. idk i just think that even at their most afraid and most closeted they were bold and they were so brave. they shouldn’t have had to go through all of that but they really were still doing their best to be themselves when they couldn’t be out.