A Few Jhad Incorrect Quotes More
The long awaited(?) fifth installment of my Jhad Incorrect Quotes Series.
Thad: Did J just tell me she loved me for the first time?
Thad: And did I just do finger guns back?
Rebecca: I like your top, J!
Thad: (Jokingly) I have a name, you know.
J: (Pinches the bridge of her “nose”) *Sighs* Why? Why are you like this?
Thad: (Ecstatic) J and I got married!!
Uzi: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.
Thad: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!
J: (Lying face down on her bed) I said "Neat," Uzi. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.
Uzi: (Reading a book) Don't beat yourself up too much, J. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when N confessed his love for me?
J: (Looks up) Didn't you thank him?
Uzi: (Closes the book and looks at the ceiling) I fucking thanked him.
N: Why is J crying on the floor?
V: She saw a picture of Thad’s wife.
N: But… she’s Thad’s wife.
Uzi: I sleep with my sick as hell railgun under my pillow.
Thad: Both of you are so weird.
Uzi: (Cocks an eyebrow) Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
J: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Thad: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
J: I don't know, surprise me!
J: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Thad: It was autocorrect.
J: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Khan: (Sees J and Thad together) They're cute. I would put them on a boat.
Nori: (Caught off guard) You mean... you ship them?
Thad: Are we fighting or flirting?
J: Wha- I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck!
J: (Rocket launcher at the ready) Get the fuck out!
Uzi: (Unfazed) What's up your ass this morning?
Thad: (Groggily walks in) *Yawn* ...Hey.
Uzi: Hmm... never mind. (Runs out of the pod to tell the others)
Darren: So... I've seen you've been spending a lot of time with J recently.
Thad: No, Darren, it's not what it looks like, I swear.
Darren: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?
Thad: No! You're the only one for me.
Thad: I promise! J and I are just dating, okay? She’s my girlfriend.
Darren: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?
Thad: You are still my one and only best friend! She’s just the love of my life, nothing more!
Darren: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?
Darren: (Takes off his sunglasses, teary-eyed) Bro...
J: (Deeply confused) What the…?
Thad: Talk dirty to me, baby~
J: They've been there for 4 days and it's your turn to wash them. You still haven't cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.
(J comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Thad’s bedroom.)
Thad: Babe, are you… coming to bed?
J: No thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I have a boyfriend.
(J falls face first on the ground and immediately falls asleep)
N: If you want my advice-
J: No offense but you're the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your girlfriend. Multiple times.
N: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, she’s also tried to kill me.
Uzi: It's true. It was mutually attempted murder.
J: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.
Thad: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.
V: (To Uzi) You owe me 20 dollars.
J: Thad, you love me, right?
Thad: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.
J: (Comes out of the changing room wearing silk pants) How does this look?
Thad: Like it slips on and off really easily.
Thad: (Blushes) No, I didn't mean it like that-!
Lizzy: (Teasingly) We know what you meant~
Cyn/The Absolute Solver: Did you take out Thad as I requested?
J: Thad has been taken out, yes.
Cyn/The Absolute Solver: Giggle. Excellent, now to-
J: It was a great restaurant. We had a romantic candlelit dinner and Thad proposed afterwards, we're filing the wedding papers.
Cyn/The Absolute Solver: ಠ_ಠ
Thad: (Smiling proudly) Well, J and I finally did it!
The Rest of the Squad: *Gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*
Thad: That's right... We kissed!
The Rest of the Squad: ಠ_ಠ
J: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Thad: But, babe, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
J: (Flustered) O-oh. Well… Wait. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?
J: You look good in that hoodie.
Thad: You know where else l'd look good?
J: (Zero hesitation) My bed.
Thad: (At the same time) By your side- Wait, what?
J: (Blushing and averting her gaze) Nothing!
J: No, no, hold up, rewind. My tongue was down your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro!?
