#danny talks comics

[dannybagpipesarecalling]

Nightcrawler is more than just a blueberry muffin sweetie pie cutesty poo fluffbucket of cute soft innocence.

Dude is a badass. Look. Check out some comics. Read up on the guy you say you love so much. He is WAY more than what X-Men 97 or any cartoon makes of him. He's WAAAY more than what Krakoa made of him.

Fought these dudes using Illyana's Soul Sword which he took from her.

More under the cut (even better stuff)

After Kitty and Meggan get captured by the Technet, Kurt, who is like days out of his coma recovery and nearly died in Moira's hologym, spends all day getting to Brian Braddock's lighthouse to enlist his help, only to find him unconscious from drinking (Brian's twin sister Betsy was supposedly dead in Dallas along with the X-Men). Kurt dumps him into the ocean because he doesn't have the time to deal with this shit.

Brian's fine of course. Kurt gives him the short version of the story but Brian's reaction is... pathetic.

So Kurt SLAMS HIM AGAINST THE WALL SO HARD HE CRACKS IT. Y'all, Brian is easily twice Kurt's size. Do NOT fuck with Kurt when his friends are in danger.

Earlier, during X-Men, Kitty was injured by a Morlock who has the power to make her sick or heal her; Morlock refuses and the only way to make them do it is to beat Calisto and become leader of the Morlocks. SO KURT CHALLENGES CALISTO IMMEDIATELY.

Ultimately Storm does the battle, but damn. Kurt was READY. And he didn't hesitate. He's just like, welp, let's go.

I don't know what the image limit is anymore but this has to be getting close. I'll make another post with more. But seriously, look beyond the recent stuff. Go dig into some of the older comics, Excalibur, the 2004 solo, where you get to see Kurt as more than just a "priest" or a cutesy lovemuffin hug machine. Nothing wrong with the huggy thing but he's more than that and I feel like it's being overshadowed lately by the emphasis on him being so loving and cutesy and oh look this stupid character's kids fell asleep on him in .0000004 seconds how adorable. No. No it is not, stop. Anway I digress.

[dannybagpipesarecalling]

Nightcrawler never gets to pick his girlfriend

They are always written as coming on to him.

Amanda pretended to be someone else and when she revealed the truth of who she was, he went along with it.

Cerise is the closest to him choosing; she admitted she loved him and he said he loved her too

Mara Keller was an obsessed fangirl

Christine Palmer, the night nurse from the 2004 solo, came onto him and was constantly confused about why he wouldn't go out with her; he eventually kissed her after she said she was leaving town

Rachel kissed him and said she had seen his thoughts and knew he was into her

Weaponless Zsen met him and almost immediately said they should have sex

Silver Sable met him and almost immediately started having sex with him

MacKenzie met him and immediately became obsessed with him

The only woman Kurt ever had any agency over his feelings for was Meggan, and only until Age of X-Man when they were manipulated into a relationship by an author who was annoyed they hadn't gotten together during Excalibur, ignored the fact Meggan was married and had a daughter with the man she loved, and wrote the characters into a non-consensual affair to appease her own wishes instead of writing fanfiction like the rest of us do. I have feelings about that series. and none of them are good ones.

Kurt literally never gets to choose his own girlfriends. They ALL come on to him, and he just goes along with it.

More of my opinions under the cut

TW: assault mentioned briefly under the cut

Note: I do not consider Anjulie of Excalibur issues 16 and 17 to be a girlfriend; she was an abuser who assaulted him and my mind cannot be changed on this. And assault is DEFINITELY not his choice.

I cannot think of a single time he met a woman, was interested in her, approached her of his own free will, and then went out with her. Cerise is the closest he got, but even with her, he did not initiate anything--she kissed him first at the housewarming party.

And I'm not saying it's bad that women are interested in him, or that they shouldn't flirt with him or be open about their feelings. I'm saying it's weird that EVERY SINGLE GIRLFRIEND has been someone who came onto him and he has never once been the one saying, hey, I really like you, do you want to go out with me?

Interestingly, one of the only relationships he did have say over was his friendship with Kitty. Because she was initially afraid of him, he made it his mission to befriend her, and they became the very best of friends for a long time--until Age of X-Man, incidentally. Once they were separated there, they have never been close in comic canon since. After AoX was Krakoa.

X-Men Gold was the last time they were allowed to be best friends in comics.

[dannybagpipesarecalling]

Continuing my weird Excalibur observations, can I just say this is just another reason I love Alan Davis's art. Look at Kurt.

He's using his tail to scratch his ear. I love details like that.

[dannybagpipesarecalling]

I hate this

This is a rant. If you're into what's going on in the comics, don't read it. If you hate MacKenzie and everything about her like I do, read on.

No. Just no. This is not a story. This is nothing but an excuse to ask the artist to draw Kurt wearing nothing but underwear. Now I'm here for Kurt in his underwear but this is so contrived it doesn't work at all. It's just stupid. MacKenzie shows up unannounced after ghosting Kurt for days, only to tell him it's not because she's scared for herself or her children but for HIM? That doesn't even make sense.

Jubilee doesn't bother to tell Kurt to maybe put on some pants? Instead she tells him it's an emergency. Excuse me, no, I don't care how long it's been, this is not an emergency, and you do not tell someone it is, especially when you're a fucking X-Man and you know the definition of "emergency." Jubilee is suddenly so stupid she can't figure out that if MacKenzie dropped by, finally, she might, I dunno *wait for him to get dressed*?

MacKenzie is a non-entity--when I say that I mean she has no personality, no development. She is nothing. She could be replaced by a sexy lamp. She could be replaced by literally ANYthing and it wouldn't matter. Large rock? Tree with flowers? Mannequin dressed like Rachel Summers? Bottle of vodka? IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE BECAUSE MACKENZIE HAS NO PERSONALITY.

I'm tired of this. I am tired of the way comics are being written. I don't want a fast paced, no development "story" that tells me nothing. It's boring. I don't care how many monsters you put in it or how many fight scenes. I don't care how many times Remy says "chere" to Rogue. I don't care about any of these characters, because they don't feel real at all. They're like paper cutouts that some kid smashed faces together to make them kiss.

Complain about Claremont and his fetishes all day, because I will join you, but the man could write a story. He could make these characters into real-feeling people. Reading his stories made you feel like you knew them, you cared about them, you were concerned for them. Now? Nothing. Mutina is boring. Sarah Gaunt was boring. The robbers who went after the little old lady's purse and almost made Remy eat them are boring. All of it is boring, because I don't care about these paper cutouts.

MacKenzie is the worst of all, because at least the others have backstory and history I can fall back on and remember who they used to be. Her? She is literally nothing. She's not even a paper cutout. She's nothing at all. What is her personality? You can't tell me because she doesn't have one. What does she care about besides her children? You can't tell me because we don't know. What is her job? What is her history? Is she divorced or widowed or never married? Where is she from? What are her passions? We know nothing about her because she is flat and boring and is just in place to create scenes like the above.

I get that a lot of people really like Kurt and wish they could meet and date him in real life. I understand the desire for self-insert fics because of that. It's fine. But when that starts affecting published comics, that needs to stop. I don't want to read this author's self-insert wish. I want to read a STORY about a character I like. This isn't a story. It's barely a sto.

And yes, the length of the books is a problem. When you get three pages to tell something, it's hard. Comics also used to be longer, I'm pretty sure. If not, they sure packed a lot more into the pages because they felt longer. Now it's just wham bam thank you ma'am and it isn't working.

These are my opinions. I recognize that other people feel differently and that is okay. You don't have to agree with me but I ask that you be polite and kind if you feel the burning desire to tell me so.

[dannybagpipesarecalling]

He doesn't like to celebrate his birthday because something bad always happens

But no one cares. No one cares about that. Not the characters and certainly not the writers. Where the hell are the rest of his friends? Where's Ororo? Where's Kitty? Where? Why are they celebrating his birthday in January when any Nightcrawler fan worth their salt knows it's celebrated November 11 in honor of his creator Dave Cockrum. Did they all just forget and are trying to make up for it?

Also I'm ranting like this because this comic is all over the nightcrawler tag and I can't stand it, but I also don't like to take over someone else's post and ruin their fun. So I put it on my blog and put my tags and that way people can filter my stuff out if they don't want to hear me griping about stuff.

[dannybagpipesarecalling]

thoughts/opinions about X-Men 97

I wish the writers of every piece of X-Men media that contains Nightcrawler would stop making every word that comes out of his mouth something about faith, hope, God, belief, forgiveness, and mercy. He's not a priest.

He is NOT a priest.

His personality is more than just "I love God so much."

I'm sick of it. It's boring and it's doing a terrible disservice to the character.

Here is a very good explanation of what happened, from a post on Nightscrawlers by Garble. https://nightscrawlers.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1710

[dannybagpipesarecalling]

Many reasons to read Excalibur

Besides being my favorite comic and one any Nightcrawler fan should read, especially new fans who might want to see what he was like before he became what he is today (the guy 1/3 of the writers can't remember is NOT a priest, and the guy the other 1/3 of writers think is a cutesy poo baby blueberry, and the guy the third 1/3 of writers think is nothing but a sex machine).

Nightcrawler is smart, witty, loyal, and yes. Sexy. Today's reason will be sexy. The in-your-face kind. Dude is half naked through the whole series, I swear it seems like.

Sexy. Read Excalibur for such gems as the following images, under the cut.

[dannybagpipesarecalling]

His uniform has a pocket under the red part.