favorite line or lines of dialogue that you’ve written - okay so this is the best possible question you could have asked bc i’m a master of dialogue so i tried to narrow it down as much as possible but i’m literally just too good.
“Who’s going to tell Piss Mouth that his savior was a Jew?”
“I don’t want to go to the antichrist’s bar mitzvah. I don’t even like saying ‘the antichrist’s bar mitzvah’. It sounds like a shitty D-list film.”
“Don’t get a big head, Anathema, please.” “Why not? I think I’d look good with a big head.” “You’d look good in anything, my dear, but I do like your head the way it is.” “You flatter me, and it’s going to go straight to my head, my already-giant, gorgeous head.”
“Ma’am, believe me, I can manage any conceivable level of mischief.”
“I mean this with all the respect in the world: that is the single absolute stupidest thing anyone has ever said.” “I’m being serious.” “Oh, so am I. I very deeply, genuinely believe that nobody in the history of the world has ever said anything more ridiculous than the words that just came from your mouth.”
"I want the neckline of my dress to plunge so hard that it could have a plumbing license.”
"That's right, angel, thwart me till I can't walk straight."
“I don’t make empty promises, Crowley. I don’t take eternity lightly and I don’t give love in pieces.”
“Time travel is a fantasy. Time is ever marching forward as the whole world rots.”
“[Dolphins] do origami.” “They don't do origami, paper wouldn't even survive that long underwater.” “What are you saying, paper? Where's paper come in?” “Origami. Japanese paper folding thing.” “Maybe something else, then. They swim to Oregon?” “Fairly sure they don't.” “They don't have organs?” “I’m positive they do.”
“You mean we’re in an uncanny valley of existential anxiety?”
“Kind of anticlimactic, don’t you think?” “I seem to recall a rousing climax.”
“Perhaps an official union?” “Official, how?” “Official as in… sanctioned by the higher powers of the land.” “You and I are the highest powers physically present in this land. D'you mean you want Her blessing? She won't give it.”
“I was joking about the Twilight werewolves. In fact, I was joking about the whole Twilight debate. I was kidding last month when I told you I’d misplaced my kitchen. I was messing with you in 1980 when I tried to convince you that Thatcher was one of my people from Down There. I was pulling your leg in 1732 when I told you I wrote Zaïre. I was yanking your chain in 525 when I said I gave Dionysius the wrong dates for his calendar. Many, many, so many times, I have tried to pull one over on you, and it has almost always worked. I am telling you now, I am not joking. Not in the slightest. I want you to marry me.”
