DisO Reflection: Simple Living
Photo Source: https://simplelivingover50.com/2014/11/07/11-07-14-friday-remember-to-live-a-simple-life/
*This is the text version of a reflection I was recently fortunate enough to to give at the JVC West Coast DisOrientation.”
Before I get started, can we all take a moment to acknowledge that if someone had been getting paid for every simple living joke made this year, they probably would have made a pretty decent profit.
While jokes about life are what helps keep people going, especially when working in areas as stressful as our placements can be, the reality is it is time for us to set some of this joking aside and figure out what each pillar, including simple living, is going to look like for us as we head into our AY year or our first year as an FJV. Will we continue to live out the pillars in the same ways we did this year? Will we lighten up a little bit, or maybe a lot? Or, will we take steps to live out the pillars in an even deeper way.
Personally, radically living out simple living makes me the most nervous. You see, the ways I most naturally live simply are also ways which can very quickly disconnect me from whatever is currently trending (although, thanks to my students, I could talk to you for hours about DIY slime, bottle flipping, fidget spinners, and DIY lanyards). Pretty much everyone I meet says I am not your typical 25 year old so, yeah, choosing to separate myself even more from my peers is terrifying. But, as a conversation with my college campus minister led to, what was the point of doing JVC if I wasn’t going to let it change me.
And so, in true Jesuit fashion, it’s time to put the contemplative part of contemplatives in action to work. To be brutally honest, because of how I was raised and how the JVC budget/stipend is set up I expected simple living to be the easiest and, as a result, it was lowest on my priority list when it came to reflecting. Joke was on me because it was this pillar I wrestled with the most as I came to JVC and I am wrestling with it again as I transition out.
Let’s go back to August 3rd, the night before we all were going to begin our year together. Was I worrying about what community life would be, the things I would see at my placement, living in such a big city compared to what we have in WI, or flight delays/cancellations? Nope, I was worrying about how much stuff I had packed. The brain is very powerful and, somehow, mine had convinced me I had packed to way much and at the same time not nearly enough. I think I weighed my larger bag at least 3 times before finally accepting it was less than 50 lbs and spent an hour rearranging and repacking before I finally listened to my mom and her boyfriend and went to bed for the short nap we all got to take before getting up to hit the road and get me to the airport by 3:30 am.
Looking back, these fears make me laugh because (as some of you may remember) Casa Bart Casa Bart came rolling in with more bags than pretty much everyone else because we were given different baggage directions than what most had received. But, look back these conflicting feelings remind me about the strange relationship people have with things. I can’t help but wonder how society has gotten to the point where getting rid of items they never use causes some more stress than swiping a credit card to add to the collection. And, when did society get to the point where a high schooler can get torn apart by her classmates as she walks down the hallway because she didn’t know the shoes which were donated to her, shoes her family could never afford, are called Sperries? And, more importantly, how do we fight these attitudes? For me, it looked like getting rid garbage bags worth of items when I went to visit home for the first time in June. As I was going through my items, some asked, “what if you want them again or need them later?” People won’t always get it, but just imagine how the world could start to change if each of us could, through our actions, inspire others to simplify their life. They, in return, might inspire others, Before we know it, who knows what type of chain reaction we could have!
Clothing is just scratching the surface when it comes to this pillar though. Living simply is about so much more than what makes up your wardrobe. It’s about being smart consumers and considering how online shopping and Amazon might affect retail stores and the people they employ. It’s about reducing waste, maybe by composting without a family of maggots moving in (a task Casa Bart was unsuccessful in) to protect what Pope Francis calls “our common home.” It’s about forgoing that text, Facebook post, or snap to take the time to actually make a phone call, write a letter, or talk in person. It’s about turning off phones while sharing a meal with others. Or, when alone, it’s about still taking the time to enjoy your meal instead always eating mindlessly while catching up on your Instagram feed or the newest Netflix series. It’s about this and so, so much more. Well, to me it is anyway. To each one of us, it’s going to look differently. The big question is, how do we live out the parts of simple living we relate to while possibly, no probably, being questioned by everyone from our coworkers, parents, best friends, clients, students, and even a complete stranger?
It’s fascinating to think about because everything we own has the potential to start a conversation with one of these individuals. Think about all of the conversations you’ve had about your favorite stores or, on the flip side, about the ridiculous item you and a friend saw that you can’t believe anyone would buy. Plus, think about all of the experiences you have invested in-concerts, trips, ice cream dates, late night tbell or half priced apps runs, which have helped form either past or current relationships of yours. Or, think about an experiences you’ve had this year with clients or students which revolved around their wish/struggle to obtain items they want and/or need but don’t have the resources to obtain. Conversations about simple living are easy to have when everyone involved sees eye to eye. The problem is, sometimes your view of what you can invest in when living simply doesn’t always match what others think can be invested in when living simply. This is a situation I found myself facing in October.
From the day I applied to JVC the first time I knew I wanted to live within my stipend (even to cover my plane ticket home) and, with this year very much being a second chance from God, I didn’t want to waste it. This desire caused me to have to make a pretty tough decision-spend $30 to go to a concert with the rest of my community or save it in case I ended up going home for the holidays. At the time, I didn’t know if I was going home or not because I only planned on going home if no one in my community was staying. So, out of the chance I would be going home before the end of JVC, I knew I needed to save as much money as possible if my stipend was going to cover my plane tickets. Because of this, I didn’t go. It’s important to note my community was very supportive and never tried to sway me to change my mind but, to this day, I don’t know if I made the right decision. Living simply is an extremely important thing to do, I have learned there is a fine line between living simply and staying connected to those you care about. This experience helped me recognize some of the anxieties which can come from living simply and how crucial it is to check those anxieties on a regular basis to discern if they need to be listened to or if they are controlling my life in an unhealthy way. The decision sucked in the moment and, like I said, I still question making this decision, especially since there is still so much relationship building to do at the beginning of JVC, but I do know this struggle helped me find a better balance when it came to what I was willing to do for my one-on-ones with my community. It has always been hard for me to spend money, and it probably always will be but, as a result of this experience and the type of community member I was trying to become, I believe I was more inclined to go out and spend a few bucks with my community members every now and then. Turns out, simple living isn’t so black and white. In my experiences, most of the time, simple living encourages relationships to grow. In this case, the decision I made did the opposite.
Just like everything in life, it’s about balance. But, what do you want your scale to look like? How heavy, or how light, do you want the simple living side of the scale to be? And, more importantly, why do you want it to look that way? My college professor used to say he cared less about your answer and more about the why’s you had to defend it. So, what are the “why’s” in your life that will transform simple living from something you happen to do into a personal, intentional decision you make everyday. Or, if you don’t relate to this pillar, why will you choose to not live this lifestyle? Come August 1st, I want to live simply because I don’t want to lose the freedom that has come from limiting my social media use to weekends and days I don’t work. I want to live simply because I no longer want to waste energy on whether or not I am fitting in with the times. I want to live simply because, especially as someone who is a sucker for quality time, I don’t want to contribute to the forming culture of it being acceptable to be on your phone when someone is trying to talk with you; I want to be present to the people in the room with me and to the world around me. I want to live simply because I believe a simple lifestyle will keep me closer to my students. I want to live simply because I want the world to see working at a low income school is just as important (and just as possible) as working at the rich white school across town, even if the school can’t pay you as much. Most importantly, I want to live simply because I believe it is what God is asking me to do. These are just some of my why’s. What are yours going to be?