#batkids

[ultraviolettefan]

How the Batkids became a Bat/Bird:

Bruce to Dick: Damn, poor kid

Bruce to Jason: Damn, poor kid

Bruce to Damian: Damn, my kid

Bruce to Duke: Damn, poor kid

Bruce to Cass: Damn, poor kid

Bruce to Tim: Da-

Tim to Bruce: Have you ever been blackmailed?

[brucedefender4eva]

Bruce: Here *sets down jar on kitchen table*

The whole room stops, and Tim stares wide-eyed at the jar before backing away in slight disgust

Tim: What is that? Aren’t you supposed to be on bed rest?

Bruce: Your spleeeennnn

Tim: What?

Dick: What.

Bruce: You got sick last month, and it was bad… I felt bad… spleen…

Jason: *turning to Tim* You were missing your spleen? When the hell were you gonna tell anyone?!

Tim: Slipped my mind, anyway, how did you find out?

Bruce: I go into the League of Assassins servers and whatnot from time to time ever since Damian came into the family, no biggie

Duke: And you...?

Bruce: Infiltrated them about two hours ago to steal back your brother's spleen?

Bruce: Yes

Steph: Are you on drugs? You sound like you’re on drugs. What did Alfred give you?

Bruce: I don’t remember, something for my broken ribs

Cass: *standing up and leading Bruce to sit down in a chair* How many?

Bruce: Three, not a big deal. Anyways, spleen. *grins widely*

Jason: Wait... you infiltrated the League of Assassins while high

Bruce: *looks confused* What, like it's hard?

Damian: *had left the room earlier, is now back with a glass of cold water* Baba, please drink

Bruce: *takes glass and ruffles Damian’s hair* Thank you, baby, you’re so good to me. I love you so much *starts kissing his cheeks while Damian weakly tries to escape*

Dick: … *only slightly jealous* I’m calling Alfred

Duke: *poking Bruce’s forehead only to get a blinding smile back* Bruce is kinda cute like this, all dopey and stuff

[incorrectbatfam]

Smallvillers are Victorian children in that they'd explode if you showed them a spice rack and Gothamites are Victorian children in that they snort six lines before their 16-hour shift at the crime factory

[luca-is-a-pengu]

The Robins had a movie night. Junkfood and trash talking old times

[susankofi]

i love them 🦇

(i didn't add the melanin to duke and damian since its just a simple doodle)

[frownyalfred]

Jason: “I’m NOTHING like Bruce, okay? We’re not even that similar. That’s all in your head.”

Dick, perched on Jason’s couch watching him gear up, sipping a Batburger shake: “so you’re NOT about to go deal with your emotions by going out on patrol and beating people up?”

Jason: *sets down the brass knuckles he was just holding* *stares off into the distance*

Jason: “These are just…for my — look, I don’t like your fucking tone, Richard.”

[weirdnotal]

Headcannon: when Tim first started as Robin Batman needed a lot of help staying grounded in the moment, which usually means talking if you can't use touch, and they can't really talk abt personal stuff so Tim just started infodumping abt anything he's lately been obsessed with or just random facts over the comms and Bruce grew to love this more and more over time.

Tim (arguing to himself abt his what is favorite dinosaur over the comms): -and then there is the Gallimimus which while sounds co-

Jason: could someone PLEASE make him stop?

Comms:

Bruce: *grunts* I like it.... so the Gallimimus?

Tim: you were LISTENING?????

[heist-family-content]

Damian, presenting a shiny object: I believe this should cover it, father.

Bruce: Cover what?

Damian: A hug. I wish to have one. I have brought payment. I understand that Grayson does not require this transaction for hugs, but as the head of the household, I assume yours come with fees?

Bruce: ... I am going to murder your grandfather.