Manga With Me: CSM and the Concept of "Want" and "Home"
Completely blocking out the events of the first Chainsaw Man segment after reading it is not a unique experience. I am not alone in this phenomenon but one thing I always think about is the idea of "want" or "desire" and how it's this really messed up impetus for Denji to go on living, at least in the hands of Tatsuki Fujimoto, and the concept of "home". I feel like not enough people are ruminating on this so now I have to.
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: through CSM chapter 97.
First things first, in no way am I insinuating that Denji's reasons to live are not valid nor am I implying that a character with his background is better off dead. I think it's important to mention because we've seen that play out with the likes of Ash Lynx as an example and I hated that.
Tatsuki Fujimoto, the Jackass Genie
When we're introduced to Denji, he's not exactly living the life. Trying to offset the massive debt of his father, he'd sold off several organs including an eye and a testicle and was forced to work off as much as he could by handling the dirty work of the yakuza debt owner. Treated inhumanely and frequently left with barely enough money to feed himself, Denji appears to remain relatively upbeat with his only friend Pochita at his side.
Solely motivated to simply survive the day, hopes beyond that are seemingly out of the realm of possibility for him beneath all of his inherited burdensome debt. It isn't until he gets a seemingly second shot at life that Denji can dare to dream. Mind you, this is after he's discarded like garbage but it just furthers how alone and pitiable he is to be treated in such a way.
Even with this newfound life, his hopes are comparatively low hanging fruit to the average reader and yet, at every turn, Fujimoto takes these innocent asks and twists them into such unpalatable experiences. Most notably being his first kiss.
What's particularly interesting is the space between Denji's idealization and, of course, the subsequent reality of his wishes. For instance, have you ever wanted something so bad for so long that when you finally got it, it could never measure up to what you'd dreamt in your head? Because you'd sunk so many hours into thinking about it and putting it on a pedestal but... as we saw above, Denji really only had time to think about survival for the better part of his life. So the drastic difference between wanting a solid meal, wanting his first kiss, wanting to touch boobs, wanting a girlfriend, etc. They were so relatively short lived before being obtained, and yet, so catastrophically unsatisfying each and every time. It seems like everything Denji gravitates toward is inevitably something that will cause him great displeasure which we see most readily apparent in his attraction to Makima.
For all this suffering, you'd assume Denji would have had to have done something to have earned such karmic punishment but, to the reader, his only sin seemed to be being born to a recklessly selfish father. Especially when a great deal of his origin seems to be kept hidden behind a figurative locked door which is constantly teased and shown to be something Pochita urges him never to open.
You Can't Go Home Again
This, of course, brings us to the crux of why I wanted to talk about this in the first place. We see Denji's door, something he regards with unfamiliarity and trepidation, a few times throughout the story. Not knowing its significance until the very end of the arc but, for the sake of this discussion, we will consider this and his life with Pochita Denji's "home". Denji's wariness, his avoidance, it's not unique to him.
POWER
Now we know Pochita can seemingly read the heart of Denji (being that he is the heart of Denji) but I wonder how much Power the fiend knows of her former human life. From her introduction, she was likely murdered and left naked in the very woods that Power found the body in. Power is shown to be boisterous and very self-serving, her affection for Meowy being a severe aberration, at least at the beginning of her character arc. Again, not exactly living the life, enthralled only by the taste of blood and the act of killing until she finds herself somewhat domesticated through her employment with Public Safety.
What we know of Hell, Devils that die on Earth go to Hell. Devils that die in Hell go to Earth. Power wasn't exactly avoiding "going home" but her return to Hell destabilized her semblance of safety and comfort by way of facing the Darkness Devil. Even of the devils faced on Earth, Power always faced them with the same bravado that she demanded humans to kneel before her with. Either to generally disguise her relative strength or lack thereof (being that she was fighting in a group) or, in retrospect, perhaps her fear, too. With all the confidence, we don't consider what the Blood fiend's experience may have been down in Hell, whether she was top of the food chain or not. Topside, her experience may have been a little different when you have humans and lesser devils in the mix. But the fear she experienced upon her return to Hell caused debilitating PTSD where she had to lean on Denji and Aki a lot more as she was unable to care for herself or be left alone. In this sense, it tempered her connection to Denji, especially. Almost as if the progression from a life of survival to a life of relative comfort is toppled by the harrowing reminder of one's origins.
AKI
Aki is the best literal example of the negative ramifications of "going home". As he packs the kids up for a reluctant trip to Hokkaido to visit his family's graves, Power and Denji remain immature handfuls even on the tail end of the Darkness Devil drama. But as the snow falls and Power sleeps, Aki confesses to Denji:
Every year, when I went to visit their grave, I'd remember nothing but bad things. It was depressing. But this time, you guys were such pests that I didn't have the time to get lost in that.
It's bittersweet, this acknowledgement. Seeing their behavior somewhat changed, his own resolve toward them softening, he questions whether his pursuit of the Gun Devil justifies the possibility of jeopardizing the peace he's cultivated with his found family. A distinct change of heart in light of his previous attitude toward devils and fiends, not just Power and Denji. But moreso an outright defiance of the very thing that has driven his survival thus far. That, of course, being to avenge his family's death by killing the Gun Devil. His decision to pull from the expedition is, of course, manipulated by Makima by using her purview over Power and Denji to solidify his participation. The irony of his found family enabling him to resolve his need for revenge being the bargaining chip to keep him on the hook is dastardly. Moreover, the knowledge that vengeance was never even on the table for him.
The linchpin in this is, of course, the fact that, what precedes Aki's end is not his return to home but the Angel Devil's who he inadvertently and without knowing accompanies. A past Angel Devil had forgotten, courtesy of Makima, precipitates Aki's death and evolution into the Gun Fiend. As the battle wages, the fact that it plays out as the snowball fight with Denji was devastating in light of his previous losses.
DENJI
With Denji's integration into society, his many goals thwarted by the unsatisfying reality of them, and the comfort he establishes with Power and Aki, we see him grow to understand the world a little better. He's still a neglected and immature kid but his emotional intelligence sharpens with his aspirations even if they only go so far as to wish to impress Makima. With all the trauma he'd suffered prior to joining Public Safety and even the trouble he experienced with them, fighting and killing Aki the Gun Fiend proves to be too big of a breaking point for him. It doesn't hit him immediately. But he finds himself unable to enjoy such simple pleasures with the guilt and turmoil of killing someone he hadn't realized meant so much to him and comes to understand the loss and pain so latently. The end of Aki's character arc as punctuated by Denji, even as prophesied, was shattering to watch unfold. Especially juxtaposed with the innocence of the snowball fight in his consciousness.
This altercation, too, was preceded by a door Denji didn't want to open. A door we'd seen many times over. A door that he'd decided was best left closed wayyy back in Hokkaido. 👇🏾
Aki's death yields a significant windfall of money willed to Denji to take care of he and Power. Money, the driving factor in his previous suffering, is no longer a problem for him and he uses it to taste and experience more but they do not quell the unrest within him.
Even though Denji grown to adjust to the world he finds himself in with his rebirth as Chainsaw Man, this loss, in particular, forces a deeper reflection beyond the frivolity of why touching his first boob is unsatisfying. He laments the fact that every choice, every want inevitably goes to crap just as Makima finds him. Ultimately, this extremely low point (not unlike the misery she'd initially found him in), is exactly where we see their relation to one another come full circle: Denji, a dog to Makima's whims.
As Denji submits to Makima, we immediately see the cost of his allegiance. Not only by means of Power's death but the fact that her orders completely conflict with what Pochita has been urging him against this whole time. Never mind the fact that this is the second time where he knew precisely to what end the door he was opening would reveal. Aki. Power. But, even though his expectations have been met at the other side of that door, whether it be Aki's or Makima's, it never prepares him for the big reveal. The worse turning worst case scenario. Denji's shock at Makima making good on her word allows for her full plan to come into focus.
The door opens, the true depth of Denji's backstory is revealed. The irony of Makima, the Control Devil, condemning the actions of a child trying to survive the abuse of his father is something the reader doesn't have time to reconcile it before the next big twist to the story is revealed, the next big fight.
This cycle of violence and revelation without reflection breeds an odd disconnect from the events, probably not unlike Denji's own perceived experience. Perhaps it informs our collective amnesia when it comes to the story, again, not unlike Denji's as he's forced to play the part of Chainsaw Man. A blessing and a curse, born of affection and the belief that Denji should get to lead a normal, fulfilling life. But Pochita's kindness is unexpectedly barbed despite his innocent and unassuming appearance because the Chainsaw Devil is one so feared, one so renowned, it is marked and killed by many devils but he arises again and again.
Almost as if Pochita was avoiding the burden of his own nature like Denji avoided the truth of his past... I don't know, perhaps this rant was a bit self-indulgent but whenever I think about these 3 (to 5 if we count Angel and Pochita) characters floating through the ether of life only to be connected and summarily destroyed by the fact that they finally found something worth living for really just spoils my thoughts for where this story is going, what the grand message is. If there's even a grand message at all.
It’s been far too long since we’ve gotten an update on some of our favorite JJK mains (I’m a “Nobara is still alive” conspiracist, myself) but one in particular has been sealed for 835 days at the time of this word vomit (thank you @howlonginthebox on Twitter). In universe, I think we’re only talking 12 trauma packed days but I’ve been wondering a lot about what the prison realm really is.
Storage for one Gojo Satoru, sure, but does the box hold untold pain and traumas as well? Here’s what we know:
Time does not pass in the prison realm
Our last look at Gojo, he’s surrounded by skulls likely previous inhabitants of the box because
The box holds one inhabitant at a time unless the person inside takes their own life
Aside from the above, there are only two gates out
I just want to know what the prison realm is and what Gojo is being subjected to so below are a few ideas of what our favorite Six Eyes might be enduring. Let me know your thoughts below!
Dreamscape
Likelihood: 3/10
Think ethereal, sometimes happy dreams that come to a screeching halt as he struggles to keep facts straight as time stales around him. Strictly nightmares would be too simple for Gege’s unique brand of heart rending writing so picture Gojo sliding into the familiarity of his hey day back at Jujutsu High but then cut to bloody Geto in that alley. Cut to Riko’s limp body. Cut to Geto cooly threatening Gojo’s found family/students. Cut to the warning signs that Geto was losing his way that Gojo missed because they were the strongest together. But they were together less and less. CUT TO KFC! 💪🏾
Endless Onslaught
Likelihood: 2/10
When Ken!Geto first began socializing the idea of the prison realm to the other curses, I figured it would be haunted or the prisoner would face an onslaught of relentless curses. But Gojo wouldn't be haunted by curses. He tipped the scales with his birth. He's objectively and canonically the strongest. That would just be training for him and I doubt the curses would want that when they just needed the strongest sorcerer out of commission. However, their plans against the sorcerers tend to use a strategy of numbers to overwhelm them. We already know the sorcerers are increasingly short handed so something like Geto’s Night Parade and Shibuya would be all they need to put the jujutsu community off kilter. If an onslaught were the case, maybe the idea would be to wear him and his resolve down completely. After all, it’s not like there’s anything he can do from the inside, right?
Pickled Prison
Likelihood: 1/10
This theory is much darker and implausible given the way it would completely destroy any ending. Its foundation comes from something I saw in Inuyasha so I hope I’m not terribly ruining/misinterpreting the practice. What if he’s turned into a curse, pickled by all the resentment, regret and angst he keeps at bay around his students. Mahito and crew talk about tipping the scales and part of that was getting Gojo off the board and reincarnating Sukuna. But what if they could flip Gojo too? When we first learned about Sukuna having actually been a man first, I wondered whether he became the King of Curses because of the 1000 people he slaughtered or if he was a man who tried to turn himself into a living god but failed turning him into a curse. In Inuyasha, the premise is a little different as a saint sets out to become a living Buddha but when his faith falters, his soul strays into darkness and he begins to resent those he volunteered to protect and care for. I went down this hole because I saw someone’s tweet surmising that Gojo was "enlightened" when Toji "killed" him which likened him to a god and Sukuna’s foil. Either way, I see no peace or resolution if that were to be the case. Last people standing will likely be Yuta, Megumi, Hakari and/or Yuji and they still wouldn’t be a match for OP Gojo turned curse.
‼️ Update: this is apparently more spot on than I thought, check out the back story on the real Ryomen Sukuna
Reflection and “Rehabilitation”
Likelihood: 6/10
What if it’s just Gojo alone with his thoughts? I feel like in essence, that would be pretty similar to the downward spiral the dreamscape would bring on because Gojo already has a lifetime of trauma, loss, regret and isolation to ruminate on. I can’t help but think about the panels below and what emptiness Gojo saw staring into that eye. Enough to drive somebody mad, especially without the external stimulus of teaching or being around others to stave off those darker emotions. I think back to JJK0, fresh after killing his best friend, Gojo was able to smile and speak kindly of Geto because Yuta was there. With Ken!Geto being the last thing he saw before being sealed, imagine how angry at himself he’ll be for being careless or too attached and not properly dealing with Geto’s body. How his attachment put everyone in danger and just declining from there.
R&R Remix: Suspended Judgement Day
Likelihood: 7/10
Playing into the actual appearance of the box and Gojo’s shock upon seeing it, there has to be a theory that speaks to the box’s eyes. So this theory is two fold. Suppose the prison realm is a mirror of reflection as with the theory above but echoed by the people that you failed. Like it’s Gojo’s closely held regrets and insecurities as regurgitated by his parents who he feels curse the day he was born as it sealed their deaths, Riko who regrets being given hope by Satosugu at the end of her life, Geto who - where do we even start? It’s one thing to silence the voice in your head but to hear people you love or held dear say the sick little things that you think about yourself out loud would break the average ‘Jo. This perceived scrutiny from others stems from the idea that hell is other people. Inversely, what if the eyes on the outside of the box actually allow the prisoner to see glimpses of what’s happening without context. Imagine catching the final moments of one of his beloved students KNOWING he could help them but being powerless because he’s in the box. What does being the strongest get you then? I think that would make this prison a bit too perfect for Gojo’s suffering.
Either way, I think Gojo will be worse for wear once he’s finally unsealed. I think he’ll feel responsible and shoulder all the losses from the Shibuya incident and, inevitably, everything to come.
My guilty pleasure is Dark!trio fics but I can't find many 😭 btw if you also like Dark!trio fics I cannot recommend Eye, Bodies, and Potions by Themadhatterofficial on A03 enough.
It's so deliciously dark, but in a cute way. Like, yeah they're all little murderers but they think of each other as family which is so utterly adorable. Uh- just a warning though there's abuse, animal and human.
Anyways check it ouutttt, it's so good! And also please reccomend me more!
