"darkshipping is an unhealthy coping mechanism!!!"
i'm a victim of CSA perpetuated by my father, which, as a result, means that i've had incestuous intrusive thoughts for almost my entire life. i've had intrusive thoughts about my own family members, ones that scared and distressed me as a young child (obviously). reading and writing incestuous smut has helped lessen those thoughts. yes, i "romanticise" it. yes, i find it attractive. that doesn't make it "harmful", even if it makes you uncomfortable.
the fact is that fiction is a space where i can explore these intrusive thoughts and fantasies safely, without harming myself or others.
(also, everyone reacts to and processes trauma differently, which is exactly why we shouldn't be policing coping mechanisms and acting like they're harmful or helpful to every victim. art therapy doesn't work for you? cool, i hope you find something that does work, but a coping mechanism not working for you doesn't mean that that coping mechanism doesn't work for others. it especially does not mean that you have the right to police people's coping mechanisms and call them "harmful" with zero proof to back your claims. your trauma and your limits are not universal.)
"If you enjoy it in fiction than you must condone it in real life"
Not if I set a healthy boundary between my fiction and real life. As well as be self aware of my actions and debate why I may do something - from big to small choices
There are people who like, for example, animals in fiction. Whether that be as game companions, a side character, etc. If they have the chance, they'll adopt as many animals as they can. But when it comes to real life, they really want nothing to do with them (why could range from responsibilities, trauma, smells, cost to just simply. Not being in love with the idea of animals. Why doesn't matter though.)
What about that girl whom you know is a lesbian through and through who happened to find a fictional male character hot? Would you tell her she's not a real lesbian for finding something not real, that she can disconnect from, attractive?
There are tons of people who like doing chores in games but not irl. It's that simple
Point is, whenever you hear the "oh so you must condone" phrase, it's always for strictly negative reasons, to demean. You never hear it for things the speaker finds positive to neutral
I think there's something to debate over the idea of fictional consumption and how that may persuade moral views, but its silly to say the place society has made collectively to dissociate from reality reflects all your very real morals and choices. It's like playing the "bad" way in a visual novel so you can collect all endings and being told even wanting to see those endings makes you likely to do that stuff irl
Would love to hear your thoughts <3
Discord crashed on me the first time I tried to write this lol
We're basically on the same page there!
✂️Long answer under cut✂️
It's really important to set a strict boundary between your hobbies and the rest of your life, for me I imagine them as two seperate boxes...
My normal life is my Bedroom with everything in it representing something in my life that needs doing/maintaining: schedules, the dishes, the laundry, medication, taxes, things like that!
And my hobbies – anime, vocaloid, video games, this very blog and my main – are tucked away in a tiny little Fun Box under my metaphysical/metaphorical bed. Only once everything in my Bedroom Box is as clean and orderly as I can make them for the day do I allow myself to indulge in the Fun Box!
I'm firmly of the principle that fiction is only as harmful as you allow it to be, and while a character's death in episode 6 can make you sad or the villain's backstab in the last chapter can make you angry, fiction is only designed to affect your emotions. Anything else is a byproduct of the choices and actions that you make of your own free will.
Fiction will never be the cause for bad/abusive/criminal behavior, only the scapegoat that people will use to bully and silence those they hate.
Think video games "causing" violence, think anime "encouraging" misogyny, or booktok "spreading" degeneracy. This cycle will just go on because fiction is infinitely easier to control than real problems that require years of hardship to tackle and solve.
I like what I like in fiction because I enjoy that it's NOT REAL. That might be my Ace/Aegosexuality speaking, but it is true.
Sorry for rambling, this may be my longest answer yet oops 🤣😅
