Today is the anniversary of Star Trek: The Next Generation episode Data's Day, which aired on January 7, 1991. This episode introduced Data's pet cat Spot. Spot isn't named in the show yet, but would go on to be played by multiple cats. In the later episode Schisms, Data reads his poem Ode to Spot. This poem would also show up later in A Fistful of Datas when Data interfaces with the Enterprise's computers.
Ode to Spot and the interactions of Data and Spot throughout Star Trek media have given me much joy and I wanted to share that joy with you. So here is Ode to Spot in all it's glory:
Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
O Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
Part of my '31 sketch days in May' project and also to challenge myself I CAN draw Data (with a little help from @drfuckerm-d s tutorial and uplifting inspiration from @cyberphuck. Thank you both so much 💓
(And the Instagram professional who told me my portraits were below their exacting standards can go step on a Lego or sit on a monkey 🐒 puzzle tree 😁)
We’re still feeling twitterpated here on A Star to Steer Her By, and there’s only one thing for it: more sci-fi romance! We’ve already gone through the more substantial relationships in The Original Series and The Next Generation, and this week we’re swiping right on some of our potential hookups in Deep Space Nine.
With characters who are even more developed than either of its predecessors, DS9 capitalizes on also making many of its character pairings more significant, whether they be relationships that develop gradually over time or whether they just be that much more consequential to the characters and to our understanding of them. And sometimes, they’re also just horny, which can be fine too. So rent out the holosuite for a scintillating evening with your beloved as we highlight the more noteworthy DS9 trysts below and on this week’s podcast episode (jump to 46:01). Computer, set mood lighting.
While Miles and Keiko married on The Next Generation in “Data’s Day,” neither were really main characters over there, and their relationship deepened as much as it could on Deep Space Nine. Here, the writers were a little more creative than just relegating Keiko to the role of wife, usually of the nagging variety, though it’s not that much more interesting. They have some good moments together in episodes like “Tribunal” and “Time’s Orphan” but 90% of the time, they just write Keiko out of the plot of the week, which doesn’t help much in making them seem like a particularly loving couple.
Ben Sisko x Jennifer Sisko
Sadly, the most we learn about Ben’s relationship with his late wife is through her absence. We can easily surmise that he must’ve loved her terribly because of how affected he is by her death for such a long time, and also by how conflicting it is whenever he runs into her mirror counterpart. We do get a glimpse of her in an orb vision in “Emissary,” but there wasn’t a lot to go on there aside from some mutual attraction and typical Sisko aloofness.
Kira Nerys x Bareil Antos
What Kira ever saw in Vedek Bareil is beyond us because we just found the guy to be the most milquetoast man in space. There’s definitely some sparks between them in “The Siege” but frankly that might just be because their orb visions told them so. What’s actually the most emotion we see between the two of them comes in “Life Support” when Bareil is dying like whoa and Kira is absolutely devastated for a while, so evidently she cared a great deal.
Julian Bashir x Melora Pazlar
If you thought La Forge came across as a creep last week, Bashir is here asking you to hold his drink. The cocky doctor seems to do nothing but make cringe first impressions even before “Melora” where he sets his sights on a perfectly lovely Elaysian woman whom he feels determined to “fix” even though there’s nothing wrong with her. She just has a physiology fitting of her own planet, and it’s really problematic for Julian to try to date his patient. Ick.
Quark x Pel
Sadly, Pel’s interest in Quark is mostly one-sided in “Rules of Acquisition” but there’s definitely respect there. Quark is still conflicted over how to be a good little Ferengi, and Pel so does not fit the mold of the standard woman on their home planet, but there’s a sweetness between them that really makes you wish we were a little later in the show when Quark gets a little more open-minded.
Ben Sisko x Fenna
It’s been a while for Ben Sisko in the relationship department by the time he meets Fenna, his woman in red, in “Second Sight.” Like Beverly Crusher in “The Host,” which we discussed last week, you really get the impression that Ben has been mourning his dead spouse too much to get back in the dating game, so it’s quite the step for him to even consider this intriguing and curious woman, even if it turns out she’s sorta the split personality of some scientist’s wife.
Quark x Natima Lang
Okay, you start to see why Quark didn’t really have eyes for Pel when you see what an absolute player this guy is. When we learn that he once wooed the incredibly strong-willed Cardassian, Natima Lang, in “Profit and Loss,” you get that this Ferengi really swings for the fences. And what’s even more impressive is how hot these two are together! It’s a shame her revolutionary tendencies got a bit in the way, because these two popped.
Quark x Grilka
I just praised Quark’s game, and now you can multiply that several-fold because he and Grilka are absolutely mouth-watering together. The devil-may-care Klingon widow and the fast-thinking Ferengi make for a hell of a pair when they temporarily marry in “The House of Quark” just to get around some Klingon legalese. But when they meet again in “Looking for par’Mach in All the Wrong Places,” Quark goes full Cyrano de Bergerac to take things further with his babe of an ex-wife. I ship them hard.
Jadzia Dax x Deral
After so many lifetimes and so much sexytimes, you’d think the Dax symbiont has seen it all. But when Jadzia meets Deral in “Meridian,” it’s love at first sight… and we’re not really seeing it. It’s not a terribly interesting romance since it’s a little boring and the two of them don’t have a ton of chemistry, but at least we can kinda get that the idea of becoming this incorporeal entity thing might be a new experience for Dax, so that’s nice.
EVERYONE x EVERYONE
I’m mostly bringing this one up for the joke of it, because everything in “Fascination” is a little bit gross since none of the magical attractions occur through the wills of any of the characters. I’ve shit in the past on how making horniness contagious is just a corny premise, but none of the pairings are even interesting enough to say anything on a deeper level. Except maybe Julian-Nerys, but that’s just because Alexander Siddig and Nana Visitor were so cute together in real life.
Jadzia Dax x Lenara Khan
Our biggest pull at the heartstrings so far is the love between Dax and Khan, two formerly married Trill individuals who meet again in “Rejoined” and we learn that formerly-married joined Trill aren’t permitted to continue their relationships no matter how good they are for each other. You really see how drawn to each other these two are, even in new hosts, and when Lenara chooses Trill doctrine over being with Jadzia, it really hurts.
Kira Nerys x Shakaar Edon
My goodness, does Kira Nerys have a type: Great leaders who get more and more boring the more you know them. Is it a little bit weird that she was just a child when she joined Shakaar’s resistance cell that was named after him? A little, but he doesn’t really act on it until “Crossfire” when he just comes across as an adolescent who doesn’t know how to talk to girls properly. Next.
Odo x Lwaxana Troi
While this romance never actually turns romantic in nature, much to Lwaxana’s chagrin, the relationship between her and Odo that starts in “The Forsaken” becomes something absolutely beautiful. You really get the impression that these two can really be vulnerable around each other, so when Odo marries her to get her out of a jam in “The Muse,” his vows ring true and are some of the most lovely emotions he expresses all show long. We do a lot of defending Lwaxana Troi around this podcast, and this dynamic really proves our point.
Ben Sisko x Kasidy Yates
By the time he meets Kasidy Yates, Ben Sisko is finally ready to get back on the relationship horse, and Jake picks a damn good one for him. Their relationship is quite good (ya know, except for the whole joining the Maquis thing in “For the Cause” and Sisko occasionally making decisions for her), but you also get the sense that they are already complete people on their own, so when they defy the prophets and marry in “‘Til Death Do Us Part,” it’s because they truly want to.
Jadzia Dax x Worf
Remember last week when we said Worf was out of his league with K’Ehleyr and Deanna? Well he should thank his lucky stars Jadzia is into his Klingon shenanigans when they knock boots in “Looking for par’Mach in All the Wrong Places.” Like his previous romances, Worf loosens up around the women he’s with, but we’re left wondering what Jadzia gets out of it other than sexual pleasure, especially in something like “Let He Who Is Without Sin” where their intrinsic differences are so pronounced. Still, their marriage in “You Are Cordially Invited” does relay how much they love each other.
Julian Bashir x Leeta
Speaking of that shitshow that is “Let He Who Is Without Sin,” one good thing that comes out of that episode is finally seeing Julian in a reciprocal and non-creepy relationship. Sure, it’s when he and Leeta are at their courting’s end, but the fact that they part on such good terms and can still treat each other with respect is a pretty mature thing to see from the good doctor. If only all his relationships were that way.
Odo x Arissa
When Odo is corporeal for a stretch of time, he finally gets to achieve first intimacy with Arissa in “A Simple Investigation.” And like when we gave Geordi some guff when he got romantically involved with Aquiel when he should have been investigating the murder for which she was chief suspect, we have to give Odo some guff for getting involved with the women he was meant to be protecting from the Orion Syndicate. And things just get weirder from there.
Kira Nerys x Odo
There’s so much will-they-won’t-they between Odo and Kira for so much of the series, and yet when they first get together in “His Way,” we feel a little let down. We’ve talked before about how that episode comes across as kinda gross because of the toxic masculinity and tricking Kira and Odo into getting together, so at least later episodes like “Chimera” and “What You Leave Behind” salvage the relationship since we didn’t particularly need the former fascist and the former terrorist getting together.
Julian Bashir x Sarina Douglas
Yikes. So “Melora” was gross enough on its own, but Bashir has more beers for us to hold because his courting of Sarina in “Chrysalis” should have gotten his medical license taken away. It’s insane that it happens twice for him to try to medically “fix” women whom he ends up dating, but Sarina doesn’t even have the ability to consent to either the medical procedure or to his advances. Vomit.
Worf x Ezri Dax
Worf and Jadzia were that hot couple who radiate attraction whenever they’re near each other. Having Worf and Ezri be a thing in “Penumbra” just struck us as forced. We finally got past how Worf had no idea how to act around the new Dax after Jadzia’s death, but since Ezri was written to be inherently different from her predecessor, we thought it was a mistake on both their parts to get together, especially since Ezri was NOT taking the joining well.
Julian Bashir x Ezri Dax
And finally! Don’t worry, Bashir has one more beer for us to hold! This guy really should just stay with Garak for the rest of time, because all his pairings with women have been squicky (except Leeta, which we barely got to see). We got tired of how he chased Jadzia for a while in early seasons, so it’s just gross when he does the same thing to Ezri later as if “any Dax will do.” But for some reason she’s into it and by “The Dogs of War” they’re hooking up while we yell, “Girl, you can do better!” from our couches.
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Are you coming back to our quarters for coffee? Those are all the romances we wanted to highlight from Deep Space Nine, but stay tuned because next week we’re going a’courting in the Delta Quadrant, where we might have the most romance plots to cover of any of the Trek series. You can also swoon with us as we watch through the rest of Star Trek: Discovery over on SoundCloud or wherever you listen to podcasts. Send us a Valentine over on Facebook and Bluesky. And is that a symbiont in your pouch or are you just happy to see me?
TROI: ...Marriage is an agreement to share who you are with someone else. To spend your lives together. To grow old together.
DATA: To grow old together? That is an integral component of marriage?
TROI: Usually. Why do you ask?
DATA: Although I am an android, I have not excluded the possibility that I, too, may someday marry.
TROI: Data, I had no idea you'd thought about getting married.
DATA: I believe I have much to offer a potential mate. However, we cannot grow old together because I will not grow old.
TROI: Data, you do have a lot to offer.
Data's Day, Star Trek: The Next Generation
I WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS INTERACTION
Data is so precious to me. He's so perfect just the way he is.
