#dating bio

[fuddlyduddly]

if I wasn't a coward I'd put this in my dating bio

[bodyheartmindsoul]

Possible online dating bios (to be continually updated.)

#1- I'm just here to set clear boundaries so that narcissists will misinterpret them as a challenge.

#2- I love art, languages, and making the world a better place. One time I pushed a guy onto the subway tracks for trying to force me to kiss him. I heart cute animals 😻

#3- I would list all my hobbies but it would be like drowning you in a tidal wave. Really I just want to know if you're a vegetarian and care about the planet.

#4- I have the personality of a macho man in the body of a small woman. Looking for my opposite.

#5- I'm unemployed and looking for a sugar daddy while I make ends meet. Otherwise I wouldn't be dating you fuckers.

#6- I have an old soul and am actually looking for a life partner. Wish me luck on here.

#7- INFJ, Taurus, Year of Monkey, Slyther-puff, Midwestern, Demisexual, heeeey macarena

#8- I'm just here for the hugs and food

[pof-fishing]

He sent me a bunch of ‘hi xxxx’ messages every day for a week 😷

[tumbirdatascrape0]

Simple Ways to Boost Your Online Dating Success 👉 Don't Miss These Tips

[creatvediplomat]

I dislike yt boys & anything yt adjacent.

-my dating bio

[scroundel]

A guy had “Amazing Dancer” in his dating profile, and my poor brain is so melted by ads and capitalism that I read it as “Amazon Dancer” like it was some new bullshit thing Amazon was making their employees do.

[fromageinterrupted]

My about me if I ever went on a dating app:

Loves long sits on the couch. Loves daydreaming about fictional characters. Does not like camping. I cannot stress this enough. I do not like eating with bugs, showering with bugs, being covered in filth for days on end. I do not want to “get back to nature.” I have actively lived in a home for years designed to keep the parts of nature out that most whole-heartedly join one when camping. I do not wish to use a bucket for a toilet. I do not want to have to actively set up a shelter. And don’t say “oh, but you haven’t camped [insert anywhere. Anywhere at all]. Let me tell you. I don’t like shrimp. I have eaten shrimp 27 times in my life because someone goes “oh! You don’t like shrimp?! Well, you must have had prepared wrong. Try this shrimp, it’s prepared [insert some magical way of preparing shrimp]. You’re going to love it. After 27 times I realized, it’s the shrimp. I don’t like them. Camping is also shrimp for me. I have camped 5 times in my life in 5 very different environments. Camping is Shrimp! I have blue eyes.

[eldestsalvatore]

If you had to give a blurb about yourself for a dating bio what would you say?

Considering all you idiots seem to be as one would say pimping yourselves out, I think it’s only fair that I give it a go and blow away the competition, because honestly who can be better than yours truly?Well this is the deal I’m known for being a Class A Douche bag, when it comes to friends there are only few that I can tolerate. When it comes to woman would I say that I’m the romantic type? Well I’ll tell you this if significant dates happen don’t expect me to remember, also crying? Yeah I don’t handle that well at all, my Saint of a brother he’s more the I lend you my shoulder type, and all that mushy crap. So what can I offer in this little arrangement, is that what one would call it? Pleasure, obviously, that’s a given, Vampire’s have this little thing called stamina, not to mention I can do this thing with my tongue where I curl it and, no, no better to save that for the show, explaining it wouldn’t come close to doing it justice. So what have we concluded here class? I’m not the mushy and feels type of guy, I’m not some cheap Edward Cullen wannabe that’s going to lay awake and watch you sleep, there are more productive things to do than sleep, I’m not going to watch some sappy love story with you, because come on we both know how dramatized and fairy-tale like they make it to be, this is the real world were if one pisses me off I simply rip out your heart, and if you nag me and I’m not in the mood to get the rug messy I snap your neck. I like woman, but can you fault me, have you looked at me? I was born with these god given looks, being a Vampire didn’t suddenly make me look this good, one look into my alluring baby blues and you’re hooked, I’ve been around those who are foolish enough to think they can change my ways, sadly each one fails, so if you think your up to the task to tame the beast within step on up to the plate, but remember I bite, hard -D