#dave x roxy

[hardcoreprocess]

[KO-FI REWARD] BATCH 1 // SLOT 2: Dave makes Roxy's acquaintance. Wait a second, did he mean to stop time? Fuck. Maybe he should just roll with it.

She's pretty hot. Pretty. Nice to look at. Interesting specimen, with ass for days— uh. The widest smile he's ever seen on a human person. Rose is excited to meet her, and who wouldn't be when she's got a body that— mmm.

Fucking shit. He needs to get his head out of the gutter, his eyes off her tits. At least Dirk isn't lurking nearby, ready to call his fully uncool conduct out. Instead, it's just them. Two broads, one dude, standing at the edge of a fuckoff huge lilypad, peddling introductions. "Roxy," she says, putting her hand out for a shake and a boisterous bounce of her curls, so he puts his out too.

"Dave." Surprisingly, his voice doesn't crack. It absolutely should, given the circumstances, but he ain't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Ugh. He's barely met Dirk and ARquius, yet the infectious equine obsession is already underneigh. Fuck, man.

Her handshake is aggressive, something he's completely unprepared for, adrift in the wake of several conflicting thoughts. Such as: Christ, it makes her chest bounce so fucking much. Losing seconds, losing blinks, trying to look her in the face like a goddamn gentleman.

It starts small— subtle. Like a tune shifted a half-step lower, just this side of uneasy. Roxy's excited chatter, a full review of his attributes in full cheer, is directly competing with Rose's furrowed countenance. Slow, slower, slowest confusion. By the time Dave realizes it, crimson gears spin off the edges of the lilypad congregation. Frozen in place, unnaturally paused, mid-gesture.

Watching interactions go molasses-thick, perfectly still, is par for the course. Time conducts its Players; a constant metronome thrumming in Dave's skull. Minutes pass in exact rhythm, though nothing ever syncs perfectly, least of all people or his fucked up body-copies.

A crow of wonder, equal parts congratulatory and awed, pulls him from that thoughtful stupor. Roxy leans around her fellow Lalonde as though admiring a statue, waving chipped pink fingertips in front of the unmoving Seer's face. There's no reaction. "See, Rosie was telling me aaaall about your spooky-ooky time powers but this is so cool! Look at you, displacing your temporal continuity for the fuck of it."

Then she's turning to Dave, taking stock of his open stare over slipped-down shades. When did he start sweating? Eyes dart to her rack again, noticeable, and Roxy blinks. He braces for her admonishment, is pleasantly surprised when she grins. One step forward is two is three, her arms looping around his waist.

"Guess you get that stoic nervous bit from my Strider, huh?" Maybe, if her face wasn't so close, if her fingers weren't interlacing behind his back, if her skin didn't smell so sweet. Maybe he'd have the presence of mind to discount that, refute that, set the gal straight on the sheer complexities of a Strider's bits. Roxy slots their hips together, and he's—

"What else did you get from him, baby?"

Knuckles white, gripping the tail of her God Tier hood, Dave croaks out: "Plenty."

Her croon is— mischievous. Right against his ear, cheek to cheek, honey-sweet, "Yeah. Plenty of time to get a little more acquainted. Quickie?"

[hardcoreprocess]

anonymous asked: roxy taking advantage of dave's mommy kink/issues

I’m putting Dave’s head in Roxy’s shirt. You’re welcome.

Dave is easily overwhelmed. Anything from open spaces, to heights, to people clamoring for his attention. It builds, water pressure against a barely-patched dam. Head ducking down, low enough to tuck his ears behind raised shoulders, fingers clenched up in fists where no one can see them. Stuffed in his jeans, behind his back, between his legs. A discerning eye knows to leave him alone. Let him resettle— find his footing again, amidst chaos.

Meanwhile. Roxy's eye knows to intervene, immediately.

One touch catches his attention, because Dave can see it coming. Braced for the open palm on his chest, their inhales synchronize for that split second. Roxy pushes gently; he accepts and turns at her quiet demand. Following her lead, away from the sights or sounds or people. They walk at her command, fingers curving against his broad— hiked up —shoulder or around a tense wrist.

Dave tucks into a corner, behind a wall, just beyond an open door. Hidden away, backed against the firm surface, no panic to be seen. His knees buckle slightly, head tipping up with the most expectant expression. Patiently waiting, her good little boy, with his fingers laced together in front of his stomach and twitching. Aching to touch, to hold, to have. Comfort is so close.

But he waits.

Roxy takes her time freeing the hem of her shirt. His eyes flick to her hands, then lower— her skirt's waistband cuts slightly into her belly. Dave's breathing hitches, wanting. Carefully, she pulls his shades off while distraction manages his attention. It's part of things. Easing him in, setting the stage until he's malleable, until he’s ready. Roxy's lifting her shirt up until his head and shoulders disappear beneath it.

Here, the tension bleeds out. Dave holds her hips and sighs out, mouth falling open against sweet-smelling cleavage. Her tits press warm and full to his face, swelling with every inhale. "It's okay, baby," she whispers, throat tight with emotion, "—you're okay. You're safe. Mommy's got you, baby."

[hardcoreprocess]

anonymous asked: ok someone makes a sex playlist on spotify to play and their partner loses their mind laughing abt it and it makes person A laugh too and they have a good time

"So it opens on Stacy's Mom."

Roxy's voice is very carefully flat, unable to betray a shred of emotion for fear of losing her shit as she confirms: "...Stacy's Mom."

If she even cracks a smile, it’s over. The giggles will escape. But Dave's nervous shifting says he's misunderstood, interpreting a lack of amusement as disappointment. Fucking dork. Immediately, hands smooth over his shoulders, eyes crinkling, "Hey, hey. It's— I mean, it's a song, it's about sex, it's on a playlist. It counts, right?"

"You hate it," he says, somewhat indignant. It's the final straw. He’s indignant, as though this is not the funniest shit in the world. Crumpling forward, until her forehead knocks against his shoulder, Roxy shakes with delighted laughter.

He blusters, but letting arms squeeze tight around his torso. "That's so cute," she manages between choked off wheezes, "But holy shit?"

"Look, I have some good ones too.” A largely subjective statement, but he stands firm, stating, “Personal Jesus, for fucking instance."

Roxy is giggling harder, so much so that it's chipping away at Dave’s stern mask of annoyance. He can't compose himself enough to answer her questions— largely "What the fuck else?" —because her laughter is actually contagious. They’re lost causes, shaking, hugging at one another until Dave gasps out, "—and Delta."

"The fucking pussy song!?”

"Fucking yeah."

Hands grip at the hem of his shirt, tugging it with little success around shouts of mirth. Still, she’s intent on getting him bare, to reward his— efforts.

[hardcoreprocess]

anonymous sex?

The blindfold is cool against her shut eyes and the bridge of her nose, something silky but snug. Roxy can feel sweat prickling on her brow, and slick damping the sheets between her spread legs. Somehow, when asking Dirk to help facilitate a blind date, she hadn't expected something this... grand. But it's him, and she won't complain if the results are good.

Roxy has no doubt the results will be very good.

"I decide when the blindfolds come off." A firm statement, no room for argument. She's grateful for it, even moreso when his rough and calloused hand smooths over her soft stomach until Dirk is teasing her lips apart, spreading her pussy open with an audibly wet noise. Holding her breath, Roxy barely stifles a moan.

Teething over her earlobe, stroking her clit rhythmically, she almost doesn't register a cock notching against her cunt and pressing gently. Immediately, she relaxes, lets her date inside. It's perfect. A perfect stretch, a perfect heat, a perfect friction when he bottoms out and draws back.

Roxy loses count of the thrusts. Loses count of how many times Dirk says good job and strokes a shoulder she can't see, but knows from the rasp of his familiar skin. Between the dick buried inside her and Dirk's thumb rolling over her clit in time, she knows she can't last long. The person fucking her stupid isn't far behind, cock twitching and pulsing with his heartbeat.

That's why it nearly pushes her over the edge when he, Dirk, speaks softly. Just loud enough to be heard. "You want to cum inside her, don't you?" A grunt, a nearly inhuman whine, sweaty palms grip at her hips for better purchase. Her best friend's fingers push her damp bangs back from her forehead, voice even gentler. "You want his cum fucked up inside you?" It's all she can do to nod, hands fisted in the bedsheets below their bodies.

Her blindfold slips free, pulled up by Dirk's thumb. Roxy blearily tries to focus, dizzy and disoriented even in the dim room, until she catches sight of pale hair, tan skin, and—

"Okay, Dave." The man startles at the sound of his name, and jerks his head up in shock. Dirk pulls his silken tie free and Roxy moans outright at the way his dick actually thickens, pulses, inside her. Holy shit.

"Go on. Give Roxy what she wants."

She doesn't last until the final syllable of her name.

[hardcoreprocess]

gimme a few selections from homestuck!

Technically, an OTP refers to your One True Pairing. But fuck that. It’s now: “Oh... that pairing.” Here’s a few based on fucked up categories I’ve made up.

Psychological torture is thought-provoking and hot OTP: Beta Bro Strider x Lord English.

Somewhat excusable incest OTP: Dirk Strider x Rose Lalonde or Roxy Lalonde x Dave Strider, possibly John | June Egbert x Jade Harley.

Fully inexcusable incest OTP: Grandpa Harley x Jade Harley or Alpha Bro Strider x Dirk Strider.

Mind control and it’s about to get worse OTP: Aranea Serket x Jake English.

He definitely likes that more than he should OTP: The Condesce x Dirk Strider.

Daddy issues OTP: Orphaner Dualscar x Vriska Serket or The Dolorosa x any Ampora. (But Saint, you cry, this is about daddy issues. I know. The Dolorosa is the only daddy dom I respect.)

There’s more along these lines. But, all jokes aside: my fucked up Homestuck OTP is Beta Bro Strider x Rose Lalonde. It’s pretty versatile. (Ignore the massive taglist.)

EDIT: I ran out of tags. Removed the character-specific ones.

[hardcoreprocess]

dirk strider as westley (princess bride) whooo is his buttercup and WHO gets cucked as humperdink

Princess Bride has so much potential. My biggest qualm is that 1. the book is objectively horrible, 2. the film was not written by queer people and you can tell. Westley is very condescending to his true love and makes a point to act like she's infantile. We can do better.

Dirk is a lowly farm worker, Roxy the daughter of a family with means that pays him, as it always starts. They fuck like absolute rabbits. It's insane. They're off their shits about it, taking to haylofts and hiding away in her bedroom to consummate their affections. Dirk sails off to find fortune enough to take her hand, writing Roxy as often as he can. But news comes that his ship was attacked by the Sea Witch Mindfang, who never leaves survivors. Dirk is presumed dead. His letters stop.

Now, Roxy's mother has never approved of her beau, for multiple reasons. She knows the Heir to the Throne has his eye on Roxy, and so when Dirk's letters begin to arrive again? She keeps them from her daughter. In her grief, Roxy has begun to dress in black, mourning and refusing any courting at all. But the Heir has his eye on her, and when Roxy only dismisses him lightly, John proposes.

Sure that her life is over now that Dirk is dead, she agrees. But in her travels to the Heir, she's tragically kidnapped by a band of thieves. A spiteful, blind vigilante named Terezi commands a towering giant called Karkat and a disgraced foreign knight called Dave. The latter are sympathetic to Roxy's plight, her loss of love and her new life of wasting away in a castle. Seeking to console her, Dave confesses that he hunts for a six-fingered man that killed his father, a great warrior knight that taught him every he knows now.

Perhaps Roxy kisses on the giant and knight a little, unbeknownst to Terezi. She's in mourning, and she hasn't laid a hand on anyone since news of Dirk's demise. It's a startle to realize they're being followed by a single-man ship, staffed by a man in a foreign mask that speaks with a low rasp and dresses in all black. He renders Dave unconscious after a fair swordfight, puts the giant Karkat to sleep, and tricks the sharp-nosed Terezi into drinking poison by spiking the two glasses of wine presented.

He's too familiar. Roxy's chest is tight and leaping with wanting to believe that it is. She knows that shape, the way his hands hover at her waist a little too long. The masked man asks, when she's defiantly stared into the eyes of his mask a little too long, "Are you Roxanne Lalonde?" It can't be him. He can't be alive, because Dirk would throw himself into her arms immediately. (Never suspecting that he believes she's moved on from him, having never replied to his letter.)

"Yes. What is it to you, stranger?"

Dirk's heart breaks in two at the firm demand. She's forgotten him. He swallows his hurt and elects to let her be cruel to him, because he will deliver her home safely, then vanish from her life. "...I knew Diedrich," he starts, "—Dirk. He begged that I look after your safety until he returned."

She knows now. That's plain enough. Dirk is dead and he, selfless bastard that he is, arranged her safety in his absence. Roxy cries and the mystery man holds her firmly through her tears. Her beloved is never coming home, never coming back to her, and the familiarity is this man having known Dirk intimately enough to be entrusted with her. How is that fair? How is it fair to lose him all over again?

TO BE CONTINUED...?

[hardcoreprocess]

rose trying to read in the living room while dave and roxy are being INCREDIBLY distracting on the couch

Her book is upside down. In fact, it has been since they started. Things had started gradually, Roxy’s hand on Dave’s thigh and his arm slung around her shoulders, but they’ve escalated. The film, some idiot amateur shoot about inconsistencies in “proven” conspiracy theories, is forgotten now that her legs are slung over his hips and they’re—

Not that Rose is paying attention at all, that is. This is one of the few times she’s actually regretting her decision to assume the aloof role. Typically Dirk is the one to look wholly unaffected, but he manages to pull it off because his “happenstance” jacking off looks so convincing. She, on the other hand, knows she’s flushing to the collar of her dark dress.

Sneaking a peek betrays her composure because it’s the exact moment that Dave’s dick sinks into Roxy’s pussy, wet flesh glistening. When their hips come together, her lips unseal for a deep exhale. Neither one looks at her, but they both know she’s watching over the top of her book.

When Dave’s fingers sink into the meat of Roxy’s hips, Rose forgoes the book and rucks up her skirts, planting one foot on the edge of her armchair and sliding her fingers over her panties. That’s when she’s “noticed” by her brother, looking over the bare shoulder of the blonde he’s fucking.

Immediately, he pulls out, grinding the length of his cock against her flushed cunt at the approximate pace of their voyeur’s self-soothing. Both ladies moan outright, Roxy louder and sweeter. When Rose has pity on her and pulls the gusset of her panties aside to sink her fingers home, Dave graciously bottoms out again.

Nobody remembers to turn off the television.

[hardcoreprocess]

do u heavily associate certain kinks with certain ships?

Yeah, absolutely. I’m pretty versatile with kinks and applying them to ships, but there are a few that just feel better / feel right when together.

Sometimes it’s about the kink itself fitting one character in particular and in the process of being shipped with another, I could see the characters mutually exploring / being excited by it. Examples being: Dave x Roxy and any form of mommy kink, Rose x Roxy and body worship, Dirk x Many People and (auto) erotic asphyxiation, Corvo x Outsider and void tentacles, Beast x Belle and breeding kinks.

Meanwhile, some kinks I don’t really see the characters performing together or apart so I don’t really make content about it. But at the same time, I can typically be swayed if you have the right pitch. It took me years to admit that my interest in somnophilia began with Aurora and hasn’t stopped since. (Or maybe Snow White. Who fucking knows.)

There are also kinks that follow a character around almost. Try as I might, I have so much trouble writing about Rose without giving her a pressure or creampie kink. Even in pieces where I don’t talk about it, know that it’s there, and will continue to be there unless explicitly stated otherwise. Like Dirk’s plushophilia. Or Bro’s... yeah.