#davespwite

[futurama]

its not really anything special and the art is super round and cutesy because ive been playing nothing but splatoon but i think he should get antennae. as a treat. like little headphones

when hals have the little ear pieces *touches them* hehe

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Roxy: davesprite whats wrong ?

Davesprite: people keep saying my genders whats in my pants…

Dave: but you arent wearing any pants 

Roxy: niether am i lol

Roxy: dave ur the only one of us wearing pants

Dave: oh yeah lemme check

Dave: *fishes around in his pocket and pulls out an insane amount of some kind of deli sausage*

Roxy: deli meat???

Davesprite: ...expires how long ago??

Roxy: u know i think this solves it

Davesprite: yeah. genders just a bunch of out of date baloney

Roxy: :)

Dave: :)

Davesprite: :)

[otherwindow]

i love how you were like "how do i shade his collar" and then you just. didnt. king shit

WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER  😭

[allexiaah]

man when shit like this happens i just turn off anon. cowards know their opinions will get them made fun of, and if theyre brave enough to harrass you with their dogshit opinions off anon, you can just block them <3. plus getting to report death threats / suibait directly is a nice bonus gray-ace and demisexual/romantics are real and valid and i hope you stay safe

honestly? yeah i should prolly turn it off. fuck that guy though. actually has no clue what theyre talking about. gray-ace and demiros/demiaces have all my love and support. even if they dont come off anon, i can block them through it if they didn't log out, which is nice. im just in awe that they thought i'd care about their opinion LOL. ty for the kind words moon!! ily <3 <3

[futurama]

what is your youtube if i may ask??

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCEIbdGoxa2TzgtKTysl55ig its all stuff ive uploaded here before hehe have fun

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

(After a bit of talking about toast)

John: …and you know, you can salvage something like an h7, or a g8, you can just scrape the burnt shit off and then it’ll be good.

Dave: i only ever eat toast when im in a hurry for school or something

Roxy: yo whens the last time i actually fuckin ate toast, jesus

Jade: sometimes i make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but i use toast

Dave: ᶦᵛᵉ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ʰᵃᵈ ᵃ ᵖᵇ ᵃⁿᵈ ʲ

Roxy: omg, ur disgusting

Jade: no, its good!!

John: it is good.

Dave: ive never had one

John: um, y-

Jade: (….slowly starts laughing her ass off)

John: …i’m fucking done.

Jade: (laughing even harder)

John: i’m fucking done! every time!

Dave: why-… what..?

John: every time! every time i think you’re normal!

Dave: wh- haha

John: every time i think you’ve had normal experiences! you come up with some shit! that makes it so obvious that you’re an alien!

Jade: (still dying in the background)

Dave: wh- what?

John: what the hell is wrong with you?!

Roxy: wat just happened

Dave: ʷʰᵃᵗˀ

John: how have you never had a peanut butTER AND JELLY SANDWICH?!

(source)

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

//source

D: you know how restaurants will like, ban unruly clients from ever coming again

John: sure, but then they’ll- then they’ll be trending on twitter the next day, but sure.

D: i banned obama

John: oh- oho no.

D: for- for ruining- for ruining the united states of america, i banned him

John: what did obama ever do to you?

D: he ruined it. he ruined the country

John: wh- what did- what did he ever do that affected you?

D: think about how bad this country used to be, and think about how awesome it is now

John: i dunno about that, i’m calling shenanigans. i’ve yet to hear- i’ve yet to hear-

D: look at this guy hes sideways now

D: hes sideways whaddya say about that

D: sideways obama? you want that man to be-

John: um, obamas upside-

D: upside down obama?

D: forty-fourth president of the united states-?

John: nah, nah, he’s right side up,

D: yeah, exactly

John: cause he’s brobama.

D: no hes not “bro"bama

John: he is.

Dave: (obama is my world)

Dave: (obama is my king)

D: what, do you like obama?

John: what’s wrong with obama? you gotta tell me what’s wrong with obama, why do you dislike obama?

D: because he ruined the united states

John: i would like to know how he ruined the united states.

D: think about how bad the country was, and now think about how good it is

John: i think the country was pretty great- you know, i would actually say that america was already great.

D: *deep breath*

D: 

D: what are you, a liberal?

D: 

John: 

John: d- eehehehhe-

D: ahahah

D: look, all im saying john, is that obama is banned from the kfc dome

Dave: (haha- the crushing blow)

John: okay, you know what i’m gonna say? so long as obama is banned from the kfc dome, you enjoy dick and balls. that’s all i’m gonna say-

D: WHAAT?!

John: it’s almost like-

D: NOOO

John: there’s a correlation between the two! 

D: oh my god,

D: im sorry obama. im sorry, youre not banned any-

D: i unbanned him john, come back

John: i’m outta here.

D: i unbanned ob- oh my god

John: i hereby rest my case.

D: you cant do this to me on pride month!

D: you cant do this to me on pride month, john, come on man!

John: it’s been done. it’s done. 

D: oh

D: my

D: goodness gracious mamma mia i hate obama

Davesprite: who put a peepee on the sign!!!

D: i- wh- theres a peepee on the sign, where?!

Davesprite: the big one in the sky!

D: aaAAH ITS A DICK AND BALLS DAVESPRITE WHAT THE FUCK

Davesprite: noooooo

D: AAAAAAAAAAAA

D: im gonna be honest, i put that dick and balls there

Davesprite, at absolutely ear-piercing volume: WHAT

D: ahahahahahaheheh-!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Ult!Dirk: Cry all you want, bitch. You can’t unpiss the narrative.